Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Captain Morgan is my hero!

May 18th 2007 7:14 am
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Captain caught that stupid chipmunk! I can't believe it! It was amazing, I watched the whole thing from the porch and I am just so lucky to have such a grat hunter for a brother! I was cheering him on saying "bring it inside so we can all eat it!" Moose came over to see the excitement too!

Mom made him let it go. Then he caught it a second time and we're all "GOOOOOOO CAPTAIN!!!!" And I was doing back flips... It was so exciting. When he came in (not voluntarily) Moose and I licked his face all over and purred at him! He was raving mad, but we were so excited. What did it taste like?! Does it have babies for us to eat too?! Was it nice and fat from all those sunflower seeds?! Oh, lucky Captain!!!

We got an extra meal from Mom, and then lots of petting. Morgan wouldn't even let her check his face for scratches. He was so mad at her! I told him he just has to kill and eat them BEFORE she sees! Ha ha!

But now theres a rumor going around the house that I didn't kill that mouse, but just found Captain's kill and was playing with it... Ha! A likely story! I'm just as helpful and brave as the Captain! Watch! I can climb to the top of the fridge!



Best Mother's Day present ever!!!

May 12th 2007 6:07 am
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Okay, there's been this mouse around the house and our parents didn't even know about it! I mean, how dense are they?! It's in the wall all scratching and squeaking loud as can be! Silly humans.

So almost a week ago, Captain told me that Mother's day is coming up. So I'm all scratching my head with my back foot thinking about it... What do you get a HUMAN for a present anyways?! They don't eat catnip, get mad when you lick their ears out, and most of the things I steal are their socks to begin with.

Then I got the most brilliant idea! I decided to catch, kill, and leave the MOUSE on Mom's pillow!!! I won't go into the details of the slaughtering... Let's just say that they don't call me the six fanged kitten of doom for nothing! Rawr!!! But in the process, I did accidentally bite off and swallow most of the head. Oops.

Then there was the dragging the mouse carcass to the bedroom... Lost the front legs down the hatch there... And then when I got to the bedroom, I could hear Mom in the shower. I thought, where's the harm in having a little fun with my dead mouse first?! My greedy mouth ate the tail and one of the hind legs during that... Hope Mom likes Mouse butt!!

Mom walks in and she's in a towel without her glasses. She's smiling at me. Does she see the mouse?! She was getting clothes on, looked over as I tossed her present around in the air... Look, Mom! It's a FUN thing! She finally put those glasses on and looked over at me with a funny expression.

"Sparky, what toy is that?" I sat proudly by the kill beaming at her. Then suddenly her expression changed to confusion, concern, worry, everything! Mom, you're supposed to be HAPPY! and eat it!!! She grabbed it in a paper towel and threw it out!

But then we got all sorts of hugs and praises; and confessions that we're smarter than them for knowing there was a mouse and taking care of it; and and a whole extra dinner in the middle of the day!!!! It was awesome. I'm totally bringing over any more mice I find to HER side of the bed!!


Oh, Captain Morgan!!!!

May 4th 2007 6:04 am
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That Captain is just so serious about hunting out the window! I mean, there's GLASS in front of us, Captain! So isn't window hunting just silly? Well, apparently the Captain thinks it's to be taken as serious practice or something... Whatever! He just keeps getting mad at me for chirping under my breath when I see something out the window worth hunting... I think it's his "pet peeve," that is if a pirate can keep anything but a parrot as a pet! Ha ha!

But really, Captain and I are having a blast. He gets mad and then it's a ninja wrestling session all over the house! Rawr! There's always some adventure about when you have a pirate for a brother! Purrs.


What's WORK?

April 30th 2007 6:23 am
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Oh, no! Mom just sat us down and explained that she's starting her summer job today and that we're all going to be alone for a few days a week... HOW WILL WE SURVIVE?! Alone?!!! I really need my parents here! Who will turn the sink water on and off for me? Who will change my litter box whenever Moose objects? Who will do yoga with Moose? Whose going to walk me on my leash outside? Who will TYPE for me?!!! Oh, no! This might affect my Catster time!... Who will scratch under my chin and pick the couch pillows up when I drop them?!!! Who will let us onto the porch? Who will I play fetch with?!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!!

I'm going to go sit on her so she can't leave us.


From Behind Closed a Door!

April 27th 2007 7:13 am
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The Captain and I were performing in our daily morning wrestling match, when he up and ran out of the living room. I of course was right at his heals as we dashed over the couch, over Mom and her coffee, over the litter box, over the clothes I pulled off the drying rack, and up and over the vanity in the futon room. (Or as I like to call it-- the Dojo!)

Captain body checked me against the door and I got all Jet Li on him and double pawed his chest off of me. Then there were a few forward and reverse rolls, bunny kicks, quite a few head nips and clawings... At least one Ricki-Oh inspired shriek of rage, and then one of us somehow hit the door to the room in such a way that it started closing... We stepped out of its way and continued our madly skilled wrestling match. Captain rolled on his back with paws outstretched and tail flopping wildly against the floor and closed door, I backed up and ran head first into his stomach! Rawr! We both slid across the floor and into the closing door with a "thud."

We heard a distinctive "click" noise... And then we realized something bad had happened. We had shut and closed the door! The "click" was the latch closing and we were on the WRONG SIDE OF THE CLOSED DOOR! Oh, no.

So we sat there trying to figure out what to do. I wanted to cry pitifully until Mom heard us, but Captain said we had to be brave pirates and ride out the storm. I mean, she can't sit and drink coffee all day. Eventually she'll head to the litter box, and see that the door to the futon room is closed... right?

We sat there forever. I could hear Moose out in the living room "meeping" and getting his belly rubbed. I wanted my belly rubbed! But Moose and Mom were out there, and I was locked in here with a Captain... It was horrible. Captain started getting cabin fever, I started going stir crazy.

Then FINALLY after minutes of being locked away, I heard Mom's feet in the hall. I couldn't take it any more, I let out a pitiful whine for help! MOOOMMMM!!!! She came running over and cracked open the door. She peaked around to see me and the Captain sitting calmly with our eyes wide and excited. She opened the door further and we dashed out! FREEDOM!!!

We immediately restarted the wrestling match when we got back to the living room carpet... Moose headed for higher ground... Beware! Kitten Ninjas on total and complete rampage!!!!


Being Nice to Humans?!

April 25th 2007 6:41 am
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Wow, I realized something the other night that is just such a cool thing I thought I'd pass it along for all those other hy-purrr-active ninja kitten goats out there: If you do not bite the humans, they pet you and hug you more! Who knew?! I just was sitting on Mom watching TV, and I forgot to gnaw on her fingers and bunny kick/claw her hands with my back feet... and you know what; she didn't say "SPARKY!!!" and make me go on the floor! I think this is amazing. I mean, they pet me, they hug me, they even do that scratching behind the ear thing that I love! Oh, you gotta try this! Being nice to the humans... who would have thought that was even possible?! Maybe I can get more cat food out of them too.. hrmmmm...



Fires are BAD!

April 23rd 2007 6:55 am
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OKAY so so Mom and Dad herded all of us into the bedroom Friday morning and then left us in there. At first we just jumped around, played, conversed about the novelty of having a litter box and feeding station in the bedroom... Then this loud bell noise, and Mom answering the door. TERROR strikes!

Then we heard loud men talking and stomping around. Then a truck making a loud motor noise, and all this crashing and banging noises!!! Moose and I found hiding places (Moose under Dad's night stand, me under the covers) while Captain Morgan (ever the bravest of brave) took action! He jumped into the open window and started calling for help.

I heard Mom outside the window talking to him, but I was all "oh, no! I'm staying RIGHT HERE till this is all over!" She assured the Captain that it wasn't time to abandon ship, and that we were just getting a good new wood stove put in the crew's quarters... I was still scared. There were even foot steps on the roof! The ROOF! That's where those scary pigeons roost!

So I just stayed put and several hours past. Finally I heard the men leave and Mom shutting the front doors. Then her foot steps down the hall, right over to the bedroom! She opened the door and Captain BOLTED out of there to inspect the ship! Moose climbed out on top of the night stand and sat calmly peaking out the door, eventually creeping out very slowly.

I just stayed flat under the covers until Mom started calling me, and then I chirped back and tried to make my way out of the covers... I forgot how I got under there so I was a bit lost there... poked my head out finally and there was MOM! I chirped and ran over to her for comforting! What a scary day.

And last night human Dad did something scary... He lit a fire in that new thing that the loud men were apparently installing! Fire's BAD , Dad! Moose and I looked at it, I crept closer to make sure it was contained... Then just in case it wasn't, Moose and I dashed outtah that room! Captain of course laughed at us and sat by it, watching sparks fly around inside it. All ready to pounce, no doubt! Scary scary times... Fires are BAD!


Moose's Bogus Journey...

April 20th 2007 6:06 am
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Those contractor dudes didn't come yesterday, so Mom's locked us up for a second day in waiting for them. So my report on that will have to wait... yeesh! But here's a better story for yous guys:

So Moose followed Dad into his closet last night when Dad was laying out clothes for the morning. Moose likes it in there because the clothes smell like Dad and he can lay around sniffing shoes and shirts and such. But he also climbs and claws up suits, so Dad usually doesn't allow him in there... But Moose was being sneaky, so Dad didn't see him, shut the door, and we all went to bed.

Now those of you that don't know my brother Moose too well, he was neutered too early in life and among his many goofy traits to result is one that when he talks it sounds like a tiny kitten... Only he doesn't get that seagull like LOUD kitten noise, just that soft "Ehh ehh!" noise. Really! Even when he's in mortal danger he's just calling this soft little "Ehhh ehhhh!"

So there's Moosie all shut in the closet making his "Ehhhhh!" noise to sleeping ears. Captain and I were sleeping, so were Mom and Dad. It was all one big happy sleeping family minus Moose... Suddenly Mom just woke up, sat bolt upright and says "Where's the MOOSE?!" Well, now we responded with a proper paw stretching and formal group yawn of a couple of cats and Dad that have been woken up in the night. But MOM just started running around calling him and looking in cupboards, in the laundry closet, on the front porch... We realized that after a little while, she really was having trouble finding him.

Finally Dad and us got up and started looking around too. Dad was outside walking around the house in case he got out a window, and Morgan was running around with Mom looking concerned and just plain excited to be running around with Mom in the middle of the night... I suddenly heard the faint noise of the Moose call! I walked over to Dad's closet and sat down. Bathed my paw until Mom came by and said "Is he in THERE?!" Opened the door, and a frightened Moose came tumbling out! Mom snatched him up and called outside for Dad. They both stood there hugging and comforting the silly Moose! He's the silly Moose that got himself trapped! How about hugging the SUPERHERO that saved him!!!!?! Silly humans.

But yes YES, I know! I'm glad he's safe too. And we all went back to bed. bathing and cuddling the Moose... Dad sure had a hard time falling asleep after that. Must have been the guilt of locking up his Moose!



April 19th 2007 6:15 am
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I won the Silly Sab Stories Tuesday Trivia Contest!!!! That's just so exciting! The question was:

What do 20% of humans do while brushing their teeth?

and then the clue was that lots of money in the business world is waisted every day on this as well... and you have to be AT work to do it. (as in not on break) So I usually just read the trivia and shrug my tail and never post a response... But this time I was all "hrmmm... could THAT be the answer?!" And I totally got it! It was "Multi-tasking!" So not only do I look like Sebastian (our fearless leader) but I think like him too! I feel so cool! Okay, now I'm REALLY off to go hunting...



Quick Note Before I Go Hunting...

April 19th 2007 6:10 am
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Mom says workers are coming to work on the fireplace today... I don't know what that means, but the fact that Mom warned us and that Moose looked scared kinda makes me nervous... Wait, Moose always looks scared! Captain tells me that he once got so startled by his own shadow that he jumped straight up in the air. But anyways... I'll give a full report tomorrow! For now, I'm just stalking that pesky chipmunk that lives under the front porch and I am TOTALLY going to catch by sticking my paw through the mail slot. It's a technique I learned from Captain and Moose, but they've long abandoned. Clearly the mail slot was just waiting for a masterminded super ninja kitten like me to do it! Just wait! It's happening! I'll catch that little pudgy guy and drag him inside! Ha ha! Then we can hunt him in style, and knock over furniture and break stuff and everything! *sigh* Back to the hunt! Bye!

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