Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Alien Mouse from Mars!

August 2nd 2007 2:25 pm
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My latest adventure begins while the humans were being self-centered and once again, ignoring alien invasion. This time, it was in our OWN KITCHEN! DUH-duh-duh-duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Moose was hanging out in the kitchen for almost two days and nights. That silly Mom of ours thought he was just pouting because Dad was out of the house at work overnight... So she was giving him extra pets and brushing... But little did she know that Moose was really in there as the first line of defense against the Mice from Mars!!! He had one cornered under the fridge. It was a bigger one than the one I previously ate, so I assume it's from an alien planet, like Mars. Really it could be from Saturn, Neptune or Klingon... But "Mice from Mars" just sounds right.

So Moose had it cornered for DAYS! Then he got up to go visit the litter box. Being a sneaky little bugger, the alien invader seized Moose's call of nature to sneak out and find a route to the outdoor freedom of his alien launchpad and ship... But such a weakling from Mars, never planned in it's pea-sized brain for the SPARKMAN, super-goat!!!!

I came out of no where and had it by the throat in a second. It didn't have time for a phaser or light saber, that Mouse from Mars didn't even have time to draw breath, I am so invincible and scary fast!

Captain Morgan came around the corner and was all "Hey! That thar be tha prey of Matie Moose!" And I just arched my back and in proper pirate-in-training-fashion, ran! I ran all the way into the dark bedroom where the humans were sleeping. I sat in my favorite corner by the laundry and Mom's side of the bed and growled a soft, quiet warning growl at the Captain and Moose. I was just letting them know that this Mouse for Mars was MY prey!

I heard movement on the bed, and suddenly Mom was sitting upright squinting around in the dark towards my growl noise... She jumped out of bed, and I RAN to the hallway. I was still growling, so she followed me out there, then into the bathroom. I watched her crouch down and squint at my chin... Then she saw the evil alien dangling from my mouth and just said "Where did you find THAT?!"

I threw it on the ground, realized I'd killed it in my efforts, and proceeded to throw around the dead body in play. The whole time I was just growling my little throat out and when Dad came in wearing gloves, something in my head just snapped in PRIMAL MODE! My growling was a constant stream of low cursing, and my eyes darted around in defense of the alien prey. I lashed out at Dad as he tried to take it. And even kissed a little! MY prey!

He finally did some mesmerizing trick with a hand towel. I was watching it dance in front of my face when I realized I had taken my eyes and teeth off of the alien Mouse from Mars... Dad ran out of the room with his prey, and returned with a stinky spray bottle.

At dinner, we got extra wet cat food. And I heard Mom say "This is for a brave super kitten who caught us all a big fat mouse to eat! Mmmm mmm!" I sure hope more aliens invade!!!

purrrrs

 

NEW POTATO BABIES!!!

July 31st 2007 8:31 am
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TWO new potato babies!!! I am IN HEAVEN! Dad was getting potatoes ready for grilling and was standing with the sack of earthy goodness, making faces at the squishy/old ones. So I just sat there and drooled, and whined at him. Mom peaked around the corner and deemed the potatoes worthy of kitten consumption... and then they gave me TWO POTATOES!!!! Now I may be a ninja and a goat in every other aspect of life, but as a potato parent I am full devotion. I have been bathing and carrying around my little baby potatoes. I even nibbled on them a little... just love bites... Oh! The joys of being a potato Dad!

 

Attack of the BITING FIRE ANTS FROM HELL!!!

July 27th 2007 7:55 am
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Our favorite spot to lounge outside is the cement walkway leading out from the house to that forbidden cement walkway that the dogs walk past on. And just when Mom thought it was safe to put us all out on our leashes, a terrible, evil curse befell our lounging rest: ANTS! Not those cute little brown ones I lick up and purr at, but these larger reddish ants with fat aphids, lightning fast teeny legs, and firey demon breath! Yes, they are BITING FIRE ANTS FROM HELL!!! And they are swarming like a horrible river of evil over the sidewalk.

Moose was the first to discover them. He went to sit quietly and nibble grass and weeds out of the garden's edge, while Captain and I went to check on the chipmunk that lives under the porch. But we aborted operation eat-a-chippie when the distinct sound of Moosie distress came to our ears!

Moosie was jumping straight up in the air and meeping a pitiful meep! His eyes were transfixed on the cement, as he continuously leaped into the air crying. Mom was quick to act and ran out among the savage ants to save poor Moose. He was just all whimpers and purrs as she brought him over to the front steps for cuddling. Those evil ants ate my Moose!

So I, super kitten goat at large, took action! I jumped in among those horrible creatures and began to reap vengeance! You bite my Moose, I squish your aphids!!! Ha ha!

I was whacking my paw down on them and sitting my rump on a big batch of them (they did bite, but my amazing super kitten powers shielded me from noticing them... somehow)! Take that mean ants! My powers started floundering and soon I too was getting bitten and feeling it... But I was determined to stand (or lounge) my ground!... So eventually Mom came to bail me out too.

Captain just sat and watched us, shaking his head. He just doesn't get it! Those were most certainly evil mastermind ants trying to take over the world! Moosie and I are heroes! With sore paws!

 

I sat on her face, and she cut off a tail!!!

July 23rd 2007 10:43 am
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What a morning! I went to go nap on Mom's pillow and she was just sprawled all over it. I tried to be polite and chirp at her and lovingly lick her nose. But she just rolled her face over and ignored me. I had to actually curl up and just stick my back side on top of her face to get some room... yeesh, Mom! Move over and share the pillow already!

Then when I got up, I was getting some morning romping in by chewing on my baby boogie stuffed animal kitten's tail when Mom caught me... She cut off it's tail! I was SHOCKED! She says I chewed it almost completely off and she was removing it before I swallowed it... What the heck?! Now my favorite stuffed animal with the tail you know I love chewing on is a manx?!!! MOM!!!! I'm going to go bite her ankles.

 

ANOTHER food recall!

July 23rd 2007 6:16 am
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Theres another food recall for dogs eating natural balance! And various human canned beans, meat, and chili. Yikes! Gotta keep those humans safe, or who will clean our litter boxes!?!!

here's the link:
http://www.castleberrys.com/news_productrecall.asp

 

I discover fire.

July 11th 2007 5:19 pm
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Boy, have I got news for you guys today! We had this crazy wind storm here in Duluth for couple days. All over the city trees were falling on power lines, poles were falling down, and big chunks of the city were without electricity, whatever that is. And no one knew how long this would go on! Mom said we couldn't go onto Catster!!! It was seriously horrible.

Mom came home from work to find the clocks dim and the fridge not making its usual noises... She looks at me and says "WE have a job to do!" I followed her dutifully into the kitchen where she pulled out the COW JUICE JUG! I was just all purrs, my job involves THAT?! Pawsome!

So she pours out a glass for herself, one for me, one for Capt. Morgan, but of course none for Moosie (Who gets mighty stinky after that stuff). So I'm all purrs drinking my job. I run out of milk and look at her, chirping "My job! My job!" So she pour me another helping... Oh, it was great! Capt. Morgan and I rolled around on the carpet purring and bathing in our JOB!

The humans ate outside with the grill and nothing seemed too weird until Mom came in to visit the bathroom. I followed her in, so she can turn on the faucet for me and let me get a drink. But I found the weirdest thing in the world... Mom called it a candle. I was allowed to squint at it and sniff at it. But not to touch it. She was very insistent on that! Which just meant that every time the humans went near that room I ran in and stared at that glowing beautiful thing. I was just in love. So beautiful! Smells warm and soft... And the humans blew on it, and it disappeared. It must hate getting blown on, just like me!!

Finally Dad let me in a little closer to almost touch my nose to it! But Mom came in and is all "Watch out! Your Whiskers!!! My baby!" And snatched me up as Dad blew on it... They're so mean to candle! They're so mean to me!

Oh, and Capt. Morgan was very excited because a tree fell on the neighbor's house. He TOTALLY missed the candle coolness!

 

Shout out to Zoe!

July 7th 2007 8:13 am
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So so so my Grand-human just called to tell me that I have a fan in his summer school class! Hi Zoe!!! Take care of your fuzzy friend and get him/her on Catster!!!

Apparently my Grand-human printed out my latest photo of utter and complete cuteness and showed it to his students, who are of course fans of the feline... So one goes "Hey! I saw that cat on Catster!" and goes on to tell my grand-human all about my Fourth of July experiences!!! I'm so touched and honored! *wipes tear from eye* Great to have fans find me. I'm all purrs!

Purrs
SPARKMAN!

 

Fourth of July?

July 5th 2007 5:46 am
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Yesterday morning the humans are all cheerily talking about some "Fourth of July" thing and bragging about not going to work... I asked that source of supreme cosmic and yogi knowledge Moose what the heck the "Fourth of July" is. In his bad mastery of speech, he somehow managed to tell me that the "Fourth of July" is the evening when he and I will hide under the covers in the bed while Captain Morgan roams the house for "Attacking ships and cannon fire." I thought that sounded like a great time! But had no idea what he meant.

First, the other human friends came over and brought a DOG! They left it outside, but we could all see it there looking at us. I was TERRIFIED! I'm so glad Capt. Morgan is brave. He just stood his ground at the window and glared that dog into submission! I mean really; that big mean nasty no doubt cat eating dog was all whimpers and whines watching the mighty Captain! What a great big brother I have! Absolutely terrifies intruders.

Then the humans all left and these LOUD noises started up! Captain Morgan screamed "CANNON FIRE! ALL HANDS PREPARE FER BATTLE!" And a bunch of other pirate prattle, started running around from window to window. I found a nice high spot on the staircase to keep a lookout and hide from the first line of danger. Moose laid his ears back and looked very confused. After a while he started running around with the Captain, but letting Captain be the brave one looking out windows and shouting weird pirate slogans into the darkness.

Those silly humans didn't come home until after all the noise and excitement! I bet they didn't even know about all the scary loudness cause they were all smiles and chattering... Crazy humans! They're always NOT home when something scary happens.

 

Catnip Field of Myth!

June 30th 2007 1:58 pm
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What the heck?! I was Diary of the Day yesterday?!!!! That's twice in one week! Whoa! *gasp* I must be a brilliant and amazing kitten with immense fan base and stalkers! Crazy stuff.

But thank you again to all of my friends for the love and support and congratulations! I just love the love here on Catster! Hope you all have a fun and wild, fun, and safe couple of holidays planned! Mom says we get to eat REAL salmon! (Or maybe she was saying she and Dad are going to... I better get SOME!)

So hrmmm... Do I have any new stories for you? I told you about the fantabulous pillow, my discovery of cucumbers, and you know I'm a goat... hrrmmm...

I think the only new news I have is that theres a rumor going around that we now have a CATNIP field planted!!! We overheard our parents talking about it and saw them walking around with a live catnip plant and seeds and garden tools. Captain says its going to be behind the water garden int he back yard. Mom picked and area that gets some sun, but is relatively hidden from view. And that she's just planting it up with catnip for us! When Captain was last off his leash he went looking for the field of myth, but he ran away from the water garden. So I'm guessing he missed it. But ha ha! Just wait until *I* get off my leash next time! I'm b-lining for that catnip! It's rolling in the nip time, everybody! Purrs!!!

 

Purrs of Hy-purr-ness!

June 28th 2007 6:54 pm
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Whoa! My first Canada Day, followed by my first Fourth of July!!! How exciting! Mom says we should celebrate both, since my grandhuman's from Canada and we live in the U.S.A. ... *sigh* I love PARTIES!!!! I hope theres catnip and tuna and cuddling on the couch! Oh Purrs and back flips everybody, I can't wait!

Happy Canada Day!
and
Happy Fourth of July!

 
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