Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Potatoes Now Included!

August 16th 2007 6:46 pm
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My best friend Chrissy noticed that my beloved veggie of happiness, aka PO-TAH-TOES, were sadly and tragically absent from my bio! Oh, no!! How did this happen?! Well, my bio was written when I was like 3 months old and really spent most of my time just worshiping my Captain Morgan hero and well... chasing my own tail... NOW, 7 months later! I have many many talents and super habits!!! I don't just worship Captain Morgan and chase my tail, now I worship Captain Morgan, chase my tail, AND keep potatoes as pets!!!... Seriously, though. I NEEDED an update! So happy reading buds and fans!

 

Brussel Ball Request Day!!!!

August 14th 2007 9:33 am
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OH! A holiday JUST for Catster!!! I LOVE these!!! My main pic is TOTALLY getting changed for the day... Please Catster HQ?!

So so so, my buddy Arnold P., invited Moose and Captain and I to be in the Brussel Ball Club!!! And I mean there have been SO MANY new clubs that have activities and do stuff popping up all over Catster... But this Brussel Ball thing kinda fascinates me... I mean, they play soccer with a brussel sprout!!! I haven't tried eating one of those yet, but I'm sure I'll be very very tempted. But just the idea of playing with food, is just so sooooo FELINE! Makes me proud to be a Catster!

Play on Brussel Ballers!!!

 

Felt Kitten vs. SPARKMAN!

August 10th 2007 7:34 am
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I tried playing with that new kitten that showed up, and you know it's tail is just weak! I went to give it a playful nibble and bit it clean off. It tasted like Captain Morgan or Moose fur, so I purred and started chewing on it like bubble gum. Mom, the usual fun breaker, dove down my mouth with her fingers to pull globs of fur kitten tail out. Then she did something weird, she brushed us all with the zoom groom and made it a new tail!

Since she says we can't be trusted around the fur ball felt kitten, she put it out to commune with nature in the garden... Now when she gets out that zoom groom and tries to brush us, we all look around at each other... Is another fur ball felt kitten going to show up?! This last one came after a longer brushing session... Mom's lost her marbles. That's the only explanation.

 

My Feet...

August 8th 2007 7:40 am
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My feet take so much licking. I think I clean my feet more than any other part of my body. In fact, I don't know how the heck anyone keeps their feet clean! I mean, is THAT why the humans wear shoes? And why don't they lick their shoes? Or at least their feet? And back to my own feet... How do they get so dirty? I wish my feet were grey like Moosie's. Then maybe the dirt wouldn't show! But come to think of it he too spends a long time licking. Captain seems to get away with mostly just bathing his white parts. Which does include his feet, and I must say they're just glowing with cleanliness... But it really is a chore to lick between all those toes. Glad I'm not a polydactyl! or pterodactyl! Oh, I bet dinosaurs had stinky, dirty feet. Like that t-rex guy who screams and scares me in that movie. Yikes! Oh, and then there's those claws you have to maintain! The front ones are easy, just scratch the bed or chair or Mom's head. But those back ones?! I gotta bite off everyone?! Are you kidding me?! This is just stupid. It takes way too much effort to have clean, nice feet and claws...

Okay, back to my pedicure activities.

 

Trials and Tribulations of a Kitten Brain.

August 7th 2007 8:30 am
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It is hard being a kitten. Life is just still so confusing! I'm almost a year old, when will I start understanding the world and conquering stuff like the Captain?! I guess not today in any case...

My latest befuddlement is the two neighbor kids. You see, they're scary. Small humans are just terrifying! You know they're just freaky weird things that pull tails and shriek randomly. You can NOT trust those things. I always hide and freak out when I see them coming towards me. I really am terrified.

But when I'm in the kitchen window and happen to spy them playing in their yard, I just get so excited! I roll around chirping and calling to them. Theres just something about seeing them out the window that makes me adore them. It's a difficult thing to explain, but it's for all the world like they're some batch of kittens next door and I just really really want to play with them!... I'm totally confused. Are they terrifying or do I love them?!

Hrmm...

This make take a while to think about.
I better go nap.

 

Purrs every kitty!

August 5th 2007 10:04 am
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Thank you thank you thank you! It was great being a diary of the day pic, again! So thank you to every kitty that wrote or sent rosies or even just logged on to read!... I feel so loved! Purrs guys!

and just to let you all know, the fire ants from hell have gone back to hell, or some other kitty's lawn... CLEARLY it was a retreat! Moose and I are victorious! Ha ha!!!

Purrs!

 

Alien Mouse from Mars!

August 2nd 2007 2:25 pm
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My latest adventure begins while the humans were being self-centered and once again, ignoring alien invasion. This time, it was in our OWN KITCHEN! DUH-duh-duh-duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Moose was hanging out in the kitchen for almost two days and nights. That silly Mom of ours thought he was just pouting because Dad was out of the house at work overnight... So she was giving him extra pets and brushing... But little did she know that Moose was really in there as the first line of defense against the Mice from Mars!!! He had one cornered under the fridge. It was a bigger one than the one I previously ate, so I assume it's from an alien planet, like Mars. Really it could be from Saturn, Neptune or Klingon... But "Mice from Mars" just sounds right.

So Moose had it cornered for DAYS! Then he got up to go visit the litter box. Being a sneaky little bugger, the alien invader seized Moose's call of nature to sneak out and find a route to the outdoor freedom of his alien launchpad and ship... But such a weakling from Mars, never planned in it's pea-sized brain for the SPARKMAN, super-goat!!!!

I came out of no where and had it by the throat in a second. It didn't have time for a phaser or light saber, that Mouse from Mars didn't even have time to draw breath, I am so invincible and scary fast!

Captain Morgan came around the corner and was all "Hey! That thar be tha prey of Matie Moose!" And I just arched my back and in proper pirate-in-training-fashion, ran! I ran all the way into the dark bedroom where the humans were sleeping. I sat in my favorite corner by the laundry and Mom's side of the bed and growled a soft, quiet warning growl at the Captain and Moose. I was just letting them know that this Mouse for Mars was MY prey!

I heard movement on the bed, and suddenly Mom was sitting upright squinting around in the dark towards my growl noise... She jumped out of bed, and I RAN to the hallway. I was still growling, so she followed me out there, then into the bathroom. I watched her crouch down and squint at my chin... Then she saw the evil alien dangling from my mouth and just said "Where did you find THAT?!"

I threw it on the ground, realized I'd killed it in my efforts, and proceeded to throw around the dead body in play. The whole time I was just growling my little throat out and when Dad came in wearing gloves, something in my head just snapped in PRIMAL MODE! My growling was a constant stream of low cursing, and my eyes darted around in defense of the alien prey. I lashed out at Dad as he tried to take it. And even kissed a little! MY prey!

He finally did some mesmerizing trick with a hand towel. I was watching it dance in front of my face when I realized I had taken my eyes and teeth off of the alien Mouse from Mars... Dad ran out of the room with his prey, and returned with a stinky spray bottle.

At dinner, we got extra wet cat food. And I heard Mom say "This is for a brave super kitten who caught us all a big fat mouse to eat! Mmmm mmm!" I sure hope more aliens invade!!!

purrrrs

 

NEW POTATO BABIES!!!

July 31st 2007 8:31 am
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TWO new potato babies!!! I am IN HEAVEN! Dad was getting potatoes ready for grilling and was standing with the sack of earthy goodness, making faces at the squishy/old ones. So I just sat there and drooled, and whined at him. Mom peaked around the corner and deemed the potatoes worthy of kitten consumption... and then they gave me TWO POTATOES!!!! Now I may be a ninja and a goat in every other aspect of life, but as a potato parent I am full devotion. I have been bathing and carrying around my little baby potatoes. I even nibbled on them a little... just love bites... Oh! The joys of being a potato Dad!

 

Attack of the BITING FIRE ANTS FROM HELL!!!

July 27th 2007 7:55 am
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Our favorite spot to lounge outside is the cement walkway leading out from the house to that forbidden cement walkway that the dogs walk past on. And just when Mom thought it was safe to put us all out on our leashes, a terrible, evil curse befell our lounging rest: ANTS! Not those cute little brown ones I lick up and purr at, but these larger reddish ants with fat aphids, lightning fast teeny legs, and firey demon breath! Yes, they are BITING FIRE ANTS FROM HELL!!! And they are swarming like a horrible river of evil over the sidewalk.

Moose was the first to discover them. He went to sit quietly and nibble grass and weeds out of the garden's edge, while Captain and I went to check on the chipmunk that lives under the porch. But we aborted operation eat-a-chippie when the distinct sound of Moosie distress came to our ears!

Moosie was jumping straight up in the air and meeping a pitiful meep! His eyes were transfixed on the cement, as he continuously leaped into the air crying. Mom was quick to act and ran out among the savage ants to save poor Moose. He was just all whimpers and purrs as she brought him over to the front steps for cuddling. Those evil ants ate my Moose!

So I, super kitten goat at large, took action! I jumped in among those horrible creatures and began to reap vengeance! You bite my Moose, I squish your aphids!!! Ha ha!

I was whacking my paw down on them and sitting my rump on a big batch of them (they did bite, but my amazing super kitten powers shielded me from noticing them... somehow)! Take that mean ants! My powers started floundering and soon I too was getting bitten and feeling it... But I was determined to stand (or lounge) my ground!... So eventually Mom came to bail me out too.

Captain just sat and watched us, shaking his head. He just doesn't get it! Those were most certainly evil mastermind ants trying to take over the world! Moosie and I are heroes! With sore paws!

 

I sat on her face, and she cut off a tail!!!

July 23rd 2007 10:43 am
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What a morning! I went to go nap on Mom's pillow and she was just sprawled all over it. I tried to be polite and chirp at her and lovingly lick her nose. But she just rolled her face over and ignored me. I had to actually curl up and just stick my back side on top of her face to get some room... yeesh, Mom! Move over and share the pillow already!

Then when I got up, I was getting some morning romping in by chewing on my baby boogie stuffed animal kitten's tail when Mom caught me... She cut off it's tail! I was SHOCKED! She says I chewed it almost completely off and she was removing it before I swallowed it... What the heck?! Now my favorite stuffed animal with the tail you know I love chewing on is a manx?!!! MOM!!!! I'm going to go bite her ankles.

 
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