Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Operation Stop Clawing Us!

January 8th 2008 8:17 am
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Mom and Dad have been trying out this new incentive program called Operation Stop Clawing Us! I think it's goofy... But you see, the vet said I'm a wool sucking, pica, goat kitten because I'm needy. I need attention! Constant! A ton!!! So one of the "treatment" thingies is to give me a scheduled play time everyday... I guess I can't complain about that!

Everyday I get to play fetch with Mom while she drinks her coffee! This has been going on a couple months at least, (off and on since she's been absent-tie Mommy... growl) and while it doesn't seem to curb my appetite for odd things, it sure is fun to play fetch with Mom every day!! (As a side note, I got a pair of BLUE JEANS last night! Mom said she has NO idea where I found them. She didn't even know she still had them! ha ha! Sneaky ninja goat strikes again!)

So the new Operation Stop Clawing Us program works like this; at the end of fetch time, I'm usually pretty feisty about giving up Blue Mousie. He's a verboten contraband toy, so I can't have him to play with on my own. He's for supervised play only and hides in a drawer between play times. Fetch games usually end when I decide to gnaw on and eat him. So Mom says that if I give him up without drawing blood from her, me and my bros get a treat! If not, then well... Everybody lines up for a treat and then glares at Mom while she puts on a band aide.

I think it's great! Either way, we get to have fun. I like glaring!... But I do think Captain and Moose would prefer the treats. So far for the last week, I've scored four days of treats, three days of group glaring at Mom. This morning she got a claw to the palm of her thumb. What would you do if she was taking away your pride a joy, Blue Mousie?! I try not to, but I just get so mad at her! It's so hard not to claw the humans... pout pout.

 

Oh, Alright! Another Moose Diary Translation...

January 3rd 2008 6:29 am
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Mom says I should get off my tail and write you guys a quick translation of Moose's diary entry... Why is this always MY job?! Oh, well. Here it goes!

Yesterday Moose woke up before the rest of us and chewed up the fish tank air hose again. Mom was mad, and tried to fix it with electrical tape again, but this time it didn't work. (She actually said that there were just too many holes in it and there wasn't enough air pressure to run all three air stones... whatever that means.)

So she was changing out the old hoses for new ones when Moose, the dope, went over and tried to take away an old hose to play with. She got REAL mad at him then, cause he pretty much snitched on himself. And she chased him around with the feared and hated water bottle. Squirting at Moose all the way to the bed room!

I think what made her so mad was that Moose was playing with the one that she and Dad painted with hot sauce. Thereby demonstrating that their "brilliant" technique didn't deter Moose at all from chewing on those things!

After she changed out the hoses, she then taped all of the hoses to the back of the tank, so there's none sticking out where Moose can chew on them. Now, being a goat myself I can relate to Moose's frustration. It seems that when the humans realize that their determent techniques suck, they resort to removing the temptation from our path. For Moose, there's now very little chew-able access to the hoses. For me, they did stuff like getting a lidded laundry tub.

But don't worry Moose, we'll out smart those silly humans! After all, there's still about three inches of hose that runs from the air compressor to the tank... Sharpen those fangs, Moose!

 

ps

December 26th 2007 6:28 pm
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Oh! How could I forget the most exciting and fun present ever?! Mom gave me and Dad a Spud Gun!!! It's this red plastic toy gun that fires little pieces of raw potato. Now, chasing blue mousie or cat food around the floor may be nice, but chasing around little bite sized morsels of POTATO!?!!!!! I'm in heaven. Dad tried to stop playing and I had to follow him around biting ankles. I mean, POTATOES!!!!

 

Merry Christmas Tag Game!!

December 25th 2007 10:22 am
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Oh, purrs! Hector and Sebastian tagged me in the Christmas Tag game! I'm supposed to list off five things I want for Christmas and then tag five of my friends to do like-wise. But TODAY is CHRISTMAS! And I'm just now getting around to it... So instead I'll list off my top ten favorite Christmas goodies that I'm grateful for this morning:

1) Captain Morgan and I have been fighting over the blue plastic frog that came in Dad's holiday popper... So fun to chew on!

2) The catnip cigar from Arnold P.! I think it's the most potent catnip toy we've ever had the pleasure of destroying. Thanks dude! Mom and Dad promise to take pictures before we completely destroy it.

3) Orca the Killer Kitten sent Morgan these Greenies treats! YUM! Mom and Dad hid the bag and have been doling them out slowly. Dang Swabbies! Don't worry, we'll out smart them yet! Ha ha! (Or bite ankles trying!)

4) Oh my gosh, do you know how many cards came just for us cats?! More than human cards for the humans!!! Catster is so cool. Thank you so much Callie, Orca, Mr. Boots, Arnold P., Sab, Mackenzie, Oly, Shamus, the House of Mews, and all your families!!! Mom's been reading them to each of us and letting us sniff them each. She put the cards up on the wall and was amazed to realize we got more than her and Dad! Ha ha! Of COURSE! We're the fay-Moose ones! (Did I forget anybody?! Sorry if I did!)

5) The Grand-humans sent us a GIANT green sparkley pom-pom ball! It's just like those little ones we carry around in our mouths and try to hide from that mean vacuum... Only HUGE! Bigger than my head. BIG! No vacuum's gunna get this one! Ha ha!

6) New air hoses for the fishes! Now we get all new hoses to chew up! (Captain was caught red toothed last night. For once, Moose is off the hook!)

7) WRAPPING PAPER!!!! Dad says we're not supposed to eat it, just play with it... We're cats, dang it! And I'm a goat! Chomp chomp!

8) Actually, I should mention that ALL the wrappings for Christmas were swell. We especially are fond of the cardboard wrapper that came on Mom and Dad's Ice Cream Making Ball! It's a kitty tunnel! Moose tries to hide in it, but his butt sticks out. Attack!!! Ha ha!

9) Our neighbor came over the other night for dinner and left his gloves and hat on the couch. No one noticed, so I had very a tasty treat that night! Yum! Mom says I clearly enjoyed eating and destroying the fleece gloves more than the knitted cap... That's a switch! (Now there's a present for him under the tree with my name foraged in the "from" part... weird humans!)

10) Mom and Dad are both finally home to play with us. And light fires in the fire place to keep us toasty warm! Oh, purrrrrrrrrs! We're all together for Christmas. I sure hope you're all having just as much fun.

love and purrs
--SPARKMAN!

 

Getting Purred On!

December 13th 2007 7:47 am
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My Mom extended her trip home to the grand-humans, so I'm STILL not getting to log on much! But I told her I wanted to say "purrs and hello" to all my friends, so she'd better be posting this for me! Silly typist.

Its very snowy here, and we're home alone with Dad. He reports to Mom every day on how we're doing and what I've stolen and shredded lately. (just a few gloves. I'm being good, Santa!) I've also been wrestling with the good Captain a lot... But it's all in good fun! Honest!

The other day he let me yell at Mom over the phone. She apologised profusely for not being here to whorship and adore us. Then she let the grand-humans' cat purr at me! Purring cats over the phone line are so odd. I just sniff the phone and run away usually. This time I just turned my head and ignored both Mom and the grandhuman kitty... Though I must say he has a LOUD purr!

Anyways, hope you are all having a great December! Don't get snowed in. And in case you're reading Santa, I am being a good little kitty and so are all my brothers.

purrs
Sparkman!

 

Sparkman Conquers the Shower!

December 3rd 2007 8:57 am
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That shower thing is totally nothing to fear. You can totally sit in there with your humans, just sit behind them! I tried it out, worked great! I watched the splashing water all around me in the shower, and didn't get wet hardly at all! I mean, I get much more wet when I roll in the bathtub after the shower... I can't help it, its so warm in there! And the water's all fresh and easy to lick! Such a wonderful place to hang out, the tub!

Mom and Dad did get a see through shower curtain liner so I can stand between the shower curtain and liner, dry, and and watch them in there. But It is just ten times the coolness to be actually there in the tub with them while do the self-torture thing! I just feel so brave and important! I'm going to go claw stuff. Purrs!

************************************************** *

note from Mom:

Sparkman first discovered this method of waterless showering as a small kitten, but it has been over a year since he tried it last. And in truth, his last attempt wasn't too successful. Go Sparkman!

 

Oh, My, MOOSE!

December 3rd 2007 8:15 am
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What the?! Again?! Moose is a featured Diary Pic today!!! Go Moosie!!! Someone on Catster HQ must adore you. And who wouldn't?! Since a tiny age, you've always been my favorite chew toy... That is, you and Captain have been great chew toys. Concats Moose!!! You're such a fay-moose dude!

And just to let all our friends know; Mom is going to be visiting with the grand humans for the next couple days... She says she'll still log on for us, but that we might be kinda scarce. But what with the finals for Coolest Cat Show; and Moosie being an all out star lately; she can't completely disappear! Purrs!

 

Snow Snow and more SNOW!

December 1st 2007 1:08 pm
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I think we're about to get snowed in! I'm sending my human out for supplies... you know; litter, milk, and friskies. But it is crazy snowing outside! Mom let me sniff the snow on her gloves and coat when she came in from the latest shovel trip. She tried to let me out, but I think I like it when there are less flakes in the sky! I can barely see the house on the corner! Is it still there?! This snow is consuming entire trees! Is this stuff dangerous?! If so, I'll still battle it! Fwaaaa! I'm the super ninja goat cat! And Mom said when it lets up, she'll take me out to roll in it! Oh, purrs! Slow down, snow!!!

 

Moose Moose MOOSE!

November 27th 2007 7:07 am
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Moose is so dang lucky today! Not only was he picked as Catster's cat of the day, but it just happened to fall on like the first day in years that he actually did something so naughty, so bad, that if Mom hadn't caught him starting on his little "project" yesterday afternoon, she would have thought that yours truly did it!!

HE CHEWED THROUGH THE AIR PUMP HOSE TO THE FISH TANK!!! Way to go Moose! Captain has an on-going battle against what he calls the "pieces of eight fish," and I for one joined the cause when I saw Mom holding one in a net one day. (Oh, that looked so tasty!) But MOOSE! He's amazing, neither of us had ever thought of cutting off their air. That's just brilliant! Even if the bubbles seem to be his favorite part of the tank... He's joining the "Fish are Food and Not Pets" campaign! Whoo hoo! Go Moose! What a brother! Congratulations, and enjoy your day! Mom says you are SO forgiven!

 

I have fallen in love with snow.

November 23rd 2007 11:49 am
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Snow is just the bestest most funnest thing imaginable! I can pounce on it, lick it, and then it disappears and I get to chase a new snow flake!! It's almost as fun as playing with potato wedges, but just not quite. (None of that crunchy satisfaction at the end.)

But ohhh!!! I just love love LOVE the snow! Moose was wanting to go out and play with it, but apparently he forgot that snow is both cold and wet (two things Moose hates most). But I'm a real Minnesotan cat! I was breed for snow romping and icicle licking fun! Purrrrrs... Oh, I can't wait for our next trip out in a snow storm!

 
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