Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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The Great Outdoors!

April 17th 2008 8:26 am
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Snow's melting nicely, the humans seem to be under my command again, and the world is of course my oyster! And good news for the up coming holidays: Mom doesn't have a clue what to dress me up as for Passover OR Earth Day! Whoo hoo! Nudity prevails and I can nap without fear! Ha ha!

After a good surveying of the front lawn and gardens, I can report that the chipmunks have emerged! So far they've not ventured within the slim arc of my leash area... Captain says I have to be patient and let the stupid things come to me. But that only seems to work for Captain. He's like a hypnotist or that Imotep guy from the Mummy Movies or something.

I've come up with my own hunting technique: I sit under the bird feeders and wait for them to venture forth for sunflower seeds. It's rough hunting right now, what with my large stature and the small garden plants... But just imagine in a few weeks when I'm cowering like a lion in the tall coneflowers, just waiting for my prey. Rawr!

Moose is lucky. Because he panics so much on the leash, Mom puts him out on a saftey collar. Whenever he panics now, his collar comes off and he dashes back onto the porch! Too bad he's too goofy to figure out that he can just get off that thing, and go catch the chipmunks for me and Captain.

Mom stays out with us when we're on leashes to untangle and keep an eye on us, so she says we don't all need saftey collars. But Moose is a special kitty; any noise or car driving by spooks him and he starts frantically trying to get off the leash and collar. I tried doing the all out Moosie once or twice last year, but she's got me on a harness out there. I twist just a little, and it's like I'm hog tied! So I don't do that anymore. I just run to the end of the leash and yell at her to take me in "RIGHT NOW!"

That's all the happenings here. After our morning leash walks, we're all pretty tuckered out and napping till the mailman arrives. (We like playing through the mail slot with him.) So it's nap time now! Purrs everybody! So glad it's warmed up so outside.


April Blizzards, Bring May Wizards?

April 12th 2008 11:56 am
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I am so glad Mom came home when she did! The last couple days its been blizzarding and windy and SCARY outside! I've been doing a lot of hiding under blankets in the bed, hiding behind the cushy chair in the fireplace room, and generally crawling around on my elbows. About every half hour or so, Mom walks around the house to find me. She calls my name and I chirp back at her to know I'm alive, just terrified out of my gourd... or out of all my normal hangouts!

And you won't believe the craziness of yesterday: the power was out, almost all day! Dad said "Good thing we have a fireplace!" Then he and Mom moved our water and food and litter box in the fireplace room. Then he rounded us up and dragged us in there too. At first I was excited just to drink water in a weird location and Mom made us a kitten fort with all our toys. But then after the fireplace-less neighbors showed up to hang out at our house, I started realizing that the bedroom hiding spaces were shut off to me, the water dish wasn't fresh water, and that "kitten fort" was nothing but a pile of my toys! Ahh!

Finally the power came back and the neighbors went back to their house. But it still took me almost all night running around crazy and wrestling my brothers in "naughty places" like the mantel (shhhh!) just to shake off that creepy-scary-what-the-heck-is-happening feeling! Then just when I was settling into Mom's pillow and purring the humans awake, A HUGE SNOW PLOW came taring past the house at lightning speed! And now Dad's doing "fix it" stuff so theres hammering and ladders pulled out of the ceiling and and and...

Mom's wondering if I'll ever come out of hiding. This might take something more than mid-night crazies... Like a WIZARD!
Or maybe just an end to this blizzard.


Blue Bird Rosette!

March 27th 2008 11:38 am
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Ooowww! Moosie may have gotten a kite rosette and a Mystery Meeper, but I got a little blue bird! Thank you whomever you are! Clearly, you love me best. Because blue birds are so much cooler than kites! Ha ha! So hard to be so humble all the time... sigh!

Purrs every kitty!


For the Purr of It...

March 25th 2008 8:53 am
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Hey! Mom's helping everybody else update their diaries with little tidbits today, so why not me, huh?! Lots has happened to me!

Like Mom changed the blanket on my favorite radiator, said I'd chewed too many holes in the last one. The new one's not so fun to chew on. I fell asleep on Dad, nursing his arm. Oh! And and and I went out on the glassed in porch all by myself! And I didn't even get scared when the snow plow came by! I'm brave, Rawr!

We've been going out on the leashes now and then. I'm still the first to run inside. Captain says I'm a big fat scared-y cat; but you and I know that I'm just the only one aware of how dangerous things like noisy trucks, hawks, strangers, and ALIENS are! Ahh! Watch out!

There. See? I had a whole lot to say! Purrs everybody!


Dear Mom...

March 20th 2008 10:50 am
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Dear Mom,

Please let this serve as official notice that I am not dressing up for any more meepin' holidays! I don't see you and Dad dressed in Rabbit Ears for the resurrection and spring and such. So why me?!

There's three cats living in this house right now, and of them I'm the first and usually only one to get the festive dress torture. From now on, when I see cutsie, season paraphernalia being all sewed up and touched up... I'm killing it! Right away! I am going to sink my once-upon-a-time six fanged little teeth into it and tear it to shreds! Ha ha! Rawr!

Let's see you make THAT into a "Happy" Easter pic.!
Hmpf! Dang Human.


ps-- Happy Bloomin' Easter.

************************************************* ****

Memo from desk of Mom--

Sorry Sparkman. Will avoid all season decorating of your noggin in future. Btw, you're a cute widdle tiny stinky winky Easter Bunny!

Because I say so-
Yo Momma


Sparkman: Rambling Onward, Ever Onward!

March 19th 2008 9:16 am
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Alas, alak, and Alaska! No Leprechauns deposited any gold coin-age here... Just the normal pirate gold Captain Morgan keeps around. (Nobody tell him it's plastic, he'd be devastated! And probably he would accuse the teller of looting his horde! Ha ha!)

I DID get a spud card in the mail from Chrissy! I sniffed it, licked it, purred at it. It was all very exciting. It even has googlie eyes! Mom taped it to the wall above my favorite radiator so I can keep purring at it whenever I want to.

And the Grandhumans sent me a big box of what I just know is amazing toys! But my silly humans say "Not till Easter!" So I've been napping on it, making sure no one opens it while I'm asleep. Stupid humans.

I've been keeping an eye on this rabbit that hangs out in the front yard. Captain told me its the Easter Bunny checking if we're being naughty or nice... But I just know he's wrong. I mean, is the Easter Bunny really an arctic hare that lives under our porch?! I think not. This guy looks far too tasty to be the legendary Bunny Man! But he seems to frequent the place below the bird feeders. I can see him from the radiator in the corner... Nothing like a warm seat for window hunting!

Purrs, My Marshmellow Peeps!
Happy Easter Bunnies!


Reminder to All Cats: Don't Eat the Green Ones!

March 13th 2008 7:59 am
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Sparkman here with just a quick note to remind everybody not to eat any little green men this week! I know normally I advocate eating all small invaders, as they may of may not be aliens, swamp monsters, or robots. But this week you have a higher chance of them being these strange Irish things called "Leprechauns."

So here's what you do: Pounce on their hind feet and knock them over so they can't get away. If you must use claws, try not to stick them too far through the clothes, I hear that there just isn't much to these little people!

Then pick them up by the feet in your mouth, and dangle them upside down. If they're taller than you climb a chair or something so they're really dangling in the air.

At first they'll be chanting stuff and trying to zap you with spells, just ignore that and keep dangling.

Eventually when they get around to saying "okay, I'll give you anything you want, just please let me go!" Don't let them go! I mean, you can put them down and stop dangling them, but don't loose your claws just yet.

Now you have to get them to do your bidding. Most of us cats can just telepathically communicate with all living things, but I understand a few can't. Here's where Catster comes in...

You drag the little green guy over to the computer, open the catster "gift bin" and point to various things you want. I suggest the pot of gold. With that, you can buy important things like cat food, litter, puff balls, and light armory.

After they give you the stuff, THEN you can eat them! Or let them go so another kitty down the block can catch them and get stuff too. Either way, just make sure you get stuff from them before you get down with your bad cat self. Rawr!

*************************************************** *************

My buddy Callie sent me a link to this very very useful article. Clearly this person knows more about catching Greenies and retreiving Goldies than me!!! So here it is, a much more informed source... Thanks Callie!


Do Leprechauns Get to Sleep in a Pile of Potatoes?

March 10th 2008 12:55 pm
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Boxie Brown gave my Mom this horrible idea last week, and here it is on my head! A HAT!

I was napping on the couch happily, when along comes my human and sticks this green hat thing on my head! She always does these things when I'm sleeping. It's so sneaky of her! I woke up to the sound and flash of that camera in my cute little face. I was blinking and looking around when I realized that the green hat was there on my noggin. Mom kept clicking away, and I just made horrible faces at her.

She stopped clicking and said, "Wait right there! I have an idea!"

And I just glared at her, "What? You think I'd go out in public like this?!"

She came back in the room with the most beautiful thing; a whole bag of potatoes! I just sat there wide eyed looking at her, afraid to knock off the silly hat for fear I'd miss out on potato time. She started piling them around me, and I was purring then. She picked up the camera and started clicking again. I was so happy!

Is this what life is like for a Leprechaun? Rolling around in a pile of potatoes?! If so, sign me up! Mom left out one small potato for me after the sneak attack photo session... I'm going to lick it and cuddle it and carry it around the house! But most of all, I'm going to use it as a pillow. It's a good life as an orange cat in a green hat! Ha ha!


Lion Cubs, Rawr!

March 8th 2008 8:48 am
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Our local zoo just got 3 lion cubs! They're in quarantine still, but I get to watch them on a lion web cam! It's running from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. (central time). It's so exciting! Mom says they look just like me... I wonder if they're my cousins or something! Oh, purrs! Lion cubs!!!


Happy Feb. 29th Everybody!

February 29th 2008 6:55 am
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Mom said it's Leap Year Day! So I'm jumping and leaping my heart out! Hope you're all the same. (It's hard to type while leaping!)

Purrs and Happy Leaping!!!

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