Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Catster Celebrity Quiz!

April 26th 2008 8:38 am
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By the way, did you guys see this?! Catster has a celebrity quiz! You answer 13 giggle filled questions, and then find out what celeb is ripping off your act... Apparently Al Gore just wants to be me! Purrs!

http://www.catster.com/quizzes/celebrity_cat_quiz/

 

The Terrifying Saga of the New Bed!

April 26th 2008 8:17 am
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The other day, Mom was cleaning and moving furniture around. I mean, even the couch with all the treasure trove of toys below it was moved and vacuumed under! (Toys set aside for us, of course!) Since I'm still a little nervous about that vacuum thing, I was hiding up on the stair case watching her doing all this weird cleaning and re-arranging stuff.

Then at dinner, she led me and my brothers into the second bedroom with our food. She shut the door, and left us in there with our litter box, water, dry food, and a few pillows to nap on. I was prancing around, enjoying the virtues of our little kitty condo, when I heard strange voices in the hallway! I ran to hide, while Captain Morgan ran to the door to peak under and watch.

I kept tunneling further and further under the furniture, while all sorts of noises raged through out house: drills, hammers, explosions, air raids, tornadoes, thunder, the vacuum, king kong, and other loud noises I was sure were monsters sent from planet X to eat me! Oh, no! It was terrifying. And Captain spent the whole time laying by the door with his paw sticking out under it! Wasn't he afraid the alien invaders would eat his toes?! I heard they do that.

The noises suddenly stopped. The aliens and monsters left, and then they opened the door for us. I stayed put, you never know when the aliens are trying to trick you! A while later, I heard Mom calling me and walking around the room. She was crawling and looking for me everywhere. I chirped lightly to let her know that I wasn't dead of a heart attach, just generally terrified out of my gourd again. But when her eyes met mine under the futon, I knew I was safe and crawled out.

She carried me to the bedroom, where I saw the STRANGEST thing! The bed was levitating! I mean, there was all this space under the mattresses. Captain and Moose were playing under it already, and he pointed out to me that it wasn't levitating, it was up on stilts! I looked up to see that there were whole upright logs and beams and branches and such... After much timid exploring, and batting at Mom's fingers through the foot board, I've decided it's alright and can stay.

But I now know why Mom and Dad built us a cat walk. And here I thought they were bowing to my cool-ness as Cat of the Week! No, my friends, the humans have once again tried to be cleverer than I. You see, we now have a canopy bed! And apparently our cat walk is supposed to keep us distracted from hopping on the top of it?! Ha! Good luck, Mom and Dad! It's just a matter of days until we figure out how to get up there, just you wait!

 

Mr. Cat-of-the-Week Puts Up New Photos!

April 23rd 2008 9:14 am
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I told Mom that we really needed to put up a few new photos of all the excitement Catster's CAT OF THE WEEK has been having around here... Firstly, the snow's gone! Finally! And I can romp outside in the sun without cold toes and frozen fur.

Mom's still making me wear the harness and leash. I feel goofy, but she doesn't want me hurting my neck... And I do still have a habit of running to the end of the leash and then hopping around. But only when there's something really exciting like a chipmunk or birdie! (Oh, and also when I get spooked by a big truck driving by.)

Dad got a great photo of me returning with me fetch "mousie" last week, so clearly you all needed to see it! The birds by me are just paintings on our hallway wall... Mom said we needed to mural the hallway. So we did! Captain and I were a great help with that project. Mom could barely keep our noses out of the paint! Captain tried to paint the floor with blue paw prints. But Mom stopped him and wiped off his feet and the floor... Silly Mom!

Then the REAL excitement: I officially have my very own, very deluxe, very spoiled kitty, very sturdy CAT WALK! Mom and Dad put up the first wall and "up route" this weekend. It's in the bedroom we all sleep in, and it is so very high up! I like going up there in the early morning to howl and yelp down at my sleeping family. This morning Mom woke up and just said "Shhh! Mr. Cat-of-the-Week! You cuteness!" Ha ha! I can get away with ANYTHING this week! Do my bidding, humans!

 

Thank You, Catster! I love you, too!

April 22nd 2008 3:06 pm
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For those of you who log onto my page before checking the main page of Catster; you may want to go check it out... You see, my potato licking and consuming habits have finally been recognized! My purring little face is on the main page as CAT OF THE WEEK! I am just purring my little heart out and Mom's got the potato peeler out to reward me! Oh, thank you Catster HQ! I love you, too!

And of course, a huge thank you to the potatoes of the world. It's for my love of you that I owe everything! Mom says a good 30% of my mass, and probably 80% of my cuteness comes from you, Po-Tah-Toes! Purrs...

 

How a Goat-Cat Celebrates Earth Day!

April 22nd 2008 8:09 am
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Happy Earth Day, kitties of the world!! Mom says we're reducing my carbon footprint by not changing my litter box! Ha ha, take THAT Global Warming! Eww. But Mom, Moose STINKS!

That and we're planting seeds later... which I'm planning on eating! I sure hope they're planting beans again. Those were tasty. Not even one made it to plant-hood. Rawr!

I told Mom we should eat nothing but raw veggies today. She agreed, but says I still have to eat my dry cat food. Bleck! Can't I just live on potatoes, green beans, and leafy greens?! I'm a vegi-cat-ian, even if that's a made up word!

Off to be my tree hugging, earth rolling, veggie stealing, frog kissing, goat urged, and tail biting self! Purrs to your humans! And keep Moose out of your litter box.

 

The Great Outdoors!

April 17th 2008 8:26 am
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Snow's melting nicely, the humans seem to be under my command again, and the world is of course my oyster! And good news for the up coming holidays: Mom doesn't have a clue what to dress me up as for Passover OR Earth Day! Whoo hoo! Nudity prevails and I can nap without fear! Ha ha!

After a good surveying of the front lawn and gardens, I can report that the chipmunks have emerged! So far they've not ventured within the slim arc of my leash area... Captain says I have to be patient and let the stupid things come to me. But that only seems to work for Captain. He's like a hypnotist or that Imotep guy from the Mummy Movies or something.

I've come up with my own hunting technique: I sit under the bird feeders and wait for them to venture forth for sunflower seeds. It's rough hunting right now, what with my large stature and the small garden plants... But just imagine in a few weeks when I'm cowering like a lion in the tall coneflowers, just waiting for my prey. Rawr!

Moose is lucky. Because he panics so much on the leash, Mom puts him out on a saftey collar. Whenever he panics now, his collar comes off and he dashes back onto the porch! Too bad he's too goofy to figure out that he can just get off that thing, and go catch the chipmunks for me and Captain.

Mom stays out with us when we're on leashes to untangle and keep an eye on us, so she says we don't all need saftey collars. But Moose is a special kitty; any noise or car driving by spooks him and he starts frantically trying to get off the leash and collar. I tried doing the all out Moosie once or twice last year, but she's got me on a harness out there. I twist just a little, and it's like I'm hog tied! So I don't do that anymore. I just run to the end of the leash and yell at her to take me in "RIGHT NOW!"

That's all the happenings here. After our morning leash walks, we're all pretty tuckered out and napping till the mailman arrives. (We like playing through the mail slot with him.) So it's nap time now! Purrs everybody! So glad it's warmed up so outside.

 

April Blizzards, Bring May Wizards?

April 12th 2008 11:56 am
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I am so glad Mom came home when she did! The last couple days its been blizzarding and windy and SCARY outside! I've been doing a lot of hiding under blankets in the bed, hiding behind the cushy chair in the fireplace room, and generally crawling around on my elbows. About every half hour or so, Mom walks around the house to find me. She calls my name and I chirp back at her to know I'm alive, just terrified out of my gourd... or out of all my normal hangouts!

And you won't believe the craziness of yesterday: the power was out, almost all day! Dad said "Good thing we have a fireplace!" Then he and Mom moved our water and food and litter box in the fireplace room. Then he rounded us up and dragged us in there too. At first I was excited just to drink water in a weird location and Mom made us a kitten fort with all our toys. But then after the fireplace-less neighbors showed up to hang out at our house, I started realizing that the bedroom hiding spaces were shut off to me, the water dish wasn't fresh water, and that "kitten fort" was nothing but a pile of my toys! Ahh!

Finally the power came back and the neighbors went back to their house. But it still took me almost all night running around crazy and wrestling my brothers in "naughty places" like the mantel (shhhh!) just to shake off that creepy-scary-what-the-heck-is-happening feeling! Then just when I was settling into Mom's pillow and purring the humans awake, A HUGE SNOW PLOW came taring past the house at lightning speed! And now Dad's doing "fix it" stuff so theres hammering and ladders pulled out of the ceiling and and and...

Mom's wondering if I'll ever come out of hiding. This might take something more than mid-night crazies... Like a WIZARD!
Or maybe just an end to this blizzard.

 

Blue Bird Rosette!

March 27th 2008 11:38 am
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Ooowww! Moosie may have gotten a kite rosette and a Mystery Meeper, but I got a little blue bird! Thank you whomever you are! Clearly, you love me best. Because blue birds are so much cooler than kites! Ha ha! So hard to be so humble all the time... sigh!

Purrs every kitty!

 

For the Purr of It...

March 25th 2008 8:53 am
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Hey! Mom's helping everybody else update their diaries with little tidbits today, so why not me, huh?! Lots has happened to me!

Like Mom changed the blanket on my favorite radiator, said I'd chewed too many holes in the last one. The new one's not so fun to chew on. I fell asleep on Dad, nursing his arm. Oh! And and and I went out on the glassed in porch all by myself! And I didn't even get scared when the snow plow came by! I'm brave, Rawr!

We've been going out on the leashes now and then. I'm still the first to run inside. Captain says I'm a big fat scared-y cat; but you and I know that I'm just the only one aware of how dangerous things like noisy trucks, hawks, strangers, and ALIENS are! Ahh! Watch out!

There. See? I had a whole lot to say! Purrs everybody!

 

Dear Mom...

March 20th 2008 10:50 am
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Dear Mom,

Please let this serve as official notice that I am not dressing up for any more meepin' holidays! I don't see you and Dad dressed in Rabbit Ears for the resurrection and spring and such. So why me?!

There's three cats living in this house right now, and of them I'm the first and usually only one to get the festive dress torture. From now on, when I see cutsie, season paraphernalia being all sewed up and touched up... I'm killing it! Right away! I am going to sink my once-upon-a-time six fanged little teeth into it and tear it to shreds! Ha ha! Rawr!

Let's see you make THAT into a "Happy" Easter pic.!
Hmpf! Dang Human.

growls
-Sparkman!

ps-- Happy Bloomin' Easter.

************************************************* ****

Memo from desk of Mom--

Sorry Sparkman. Will avoid all season decorating of your noggin in future. Btw, you're a cute widdle tiny stinky winky Easter Bunny!

Because I say so-
Yo Momma

 
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