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Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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I heart potatoes.

April 3rd 2007 8:25 am
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I am just rolling on the floor in laughter this morning! Chrissy sent me this great link to a potato dance mix video with Lord of the Ring characters!!! It will be in me head for DAYS!... Maybe I should teach the potato pets how to get down with their spud selves! *sigh* so many bad dance titles I could make with this one... heres a few;

I'll teach em to:

French Their Fry
Peeling the Greeeen
Poppin' Eyes
Bake in the Oven
Roll in the Dirt
Chip the Dip
Spud the Dud
Do the IdaHO!
Melt the Butter
Fry the Hash
Starch It Up
Do the Spudster
Quarter for the Border
and of course the Scallop Gallop.


I mean, I could just teach them the Mashed Potato... But thats too easy.


Rocky Ann turns 16!!!!

April 6th 2007 11:10 am
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Oh, Wow! One of the most famous-est cats on Catster is turning SIXTEEN tomorrow! Rocky Ann!! I'm so excited that I insisted Mom and Dad go get us Hello Kitty Party Hats for the occasion... And apparently so did every other kitty in Duluth! The stores here are all out of hats, so they got us cups... CUPS?!

Capt. Morgan refused to wear one, even for a single picture. So he's toasting Rocky Ann with cat food and a candle. Me? I'll wear anything! I love attention. (Esp. since I got to hew on it afterward! Rawr!) Moose was all "Whats on my head?!" And I helped Mom put one on Chester via the amazing computer thingie... We're alllll decked out and ready for the big day!!!

So go wish her a Happy Sweet Sixteen!!!


purrs -- Sparkman!


The Saga of a Potato Eating Goat...

April 13th 2007 6:31 am
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I think the grossest news is that I ate one of Dad's socks off the drying rack. I think that means it was clean, but I was so hyper at the time that I really did not stop to think about it... Grand-human said that that is dog behavior, but Mom says it's more like GOAT behavior. So now Mom and Dad are calling me their little goat.

I have also eaten the draw strings off of Mom's pajamas, any elastic I can find (like bra straps... yum!), the green onion plant, easter egg shells, a big piece of lettuce, fish food of COURSE, Mom's wiggly toes a few times, a hair band, a button off of Mom's sweater, a few feathers, pine cones, tried for a bar of ivory soap, a wash cloth, and I ALMOST sunk my teeth into tape and plastic bag while my Aunt and Uncle were here... darn humans. Sometimes they are just out to foil my plots!

Mom and I have pretty much come to the understanding that she must give me at least one piece of potato when she cuts them up. She lets me play with it until it turns black! If she does not pay tribute, I just nose dive into the potato pile and take one myself. When I have to resort to that, I usually paw and lick every piece in sight (while purring very loudly). This method seems to really have taught Mom fast that she needs to give me my own piece! And for anyone wondering, a potato piece turns black after just one night of my chewing, licking, and chasing it around. Clearly a better fate than what Mom has in store for them, or should I say "Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!" Ha ha!!!


Back Online!!! and Watch Out for Your Ankles!!!

April 17th 2007 7:01 am
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If anyone missed me and my crazy kitten antics, I apologies! My computer, that I let the humans use now and then, is sickly and needs something called a new mother bored... Why did it bore it's Mother?! Silly computer. I should bite it's ankles.

Big news is that Mom took me out on a leash and I saw a dog a block away and got scared and started crouching down and growling and hissing and she had to wrestle me back inside... Now I keep begging to go back outside but she's all "No, Sparkman! My cut up hands and chest haven't healed yet!" Hmpf! Silly humans. Don't they know that their function is to obey my every wish and desire?! Well all I have to say to her is, watch out for your ankles!!! HA HA!


Blue Seal Bandits!!!

April 17th 2007 3:35 pm
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I got a rosette from these Blue Seal Bandits! There was an animated little smiley guy waving this yoyo in my eyes and its eyes were all moving around and then I blanked out completely. Mom and Capt. Morgan had to fill me int his afternoon after my nap...

Apparently they hypnotized me! They made me not be a potato stealing veggie chasing sock eating goat, and instead act like the proper little scallywag of a purrr-ate that I am! (Unfortunately for Mom that does not mean I stop biting ankles, stalking her fingers, or running around screaming naughty things at the top of my lungs.)

But she did the laundry and hung socks on the drying rack and folded stuff and everything! All without me eating anything but cat food! Very shocking. And Captain is just skipping around he's so happy, he thought he was finally teaching me to be a real Purrate Comrade!

So I came to again and Samoa sent me to this forum that talks about the mysterious happenings on Catster, and I got my own cool detective badge! I'm really styling now! Quite the cool little bean... bean... green bean... OH! Must go find veggies to free from Mom! Bye!!!

************************************************** *****************
ps-- Here's the new Mystery Forum!


Just to set the record straight...

April 18th 2007 7:05 am
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No, Capt. Morgan does not let me sleep on top of him very often. But when he does, I just get so excited that I purr and purr and then he usually wakes up and shoves me off with a "you're waking me up!" kinda complaining grunt like noise. Mom calls it his "huffy puffy" noise, because it sounds like he's huffing and puffing like he's preparing to blow your house down or breath fire like a dragon... He's such a pirate!! Even his breath can be intimidating!

As a side note, I just noticed that I have like 2800-something treats! Thanks! And thanks on behalf of my brothers, too... Moose is busy doing morning yoga, and the Captain is in the "Crows nest" looking for squirrels. (Really it's the front porch, but Captain says its a crows nest... Go figure!)

Anyways, Mom and I are going to make an Earth Day poster to decorate the front window... This weekend, everybody!!! Go plant a tree! Or if you live in a sub-arctic tundra like gardening zone (3-4) like me, go uncover the garden!

Purrs --Sparkman!


Quick Note Before I Go Hunting...

April 19th 2007 6:10 am
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Mom says workers are coming to work on the fireplace today... I don't know what that means, but the fact that Mom warned us and that Moose looked scared kinda makes me nervous... Wait, Moose always looks scared! Captain tells me that he once got so startled by his own shadow that he jumped straight up in the air. But anyways... I'll give a full report tomorrow! For now, I'm just stalking that pesky chipmunk that lives under the front porch and I am TOTALLY going to catch by sticking my paw through the mail slot. It's a technique I learned from Captain and Moose, but they've long abandoned. Clearly the mail slot was just waiting for a masterminded super ninja kitten like me to do it! Just wait! It's happening! I'll catch that little pudgy guy and drag him inside! Ha ha! Then we can hunt him in style, and knock over furniture and break stuff and everything! *sigh* Back to the hunt! Bye!



April 19th 2007 6:15 am
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I won the Silly Sab Stories Tuesday Trivia Contest!!!! That's just so exciting! The question was:

What do 20% of humans do while brushing their teeth?

and then the clue was that lots of money in the business world is waisted every day on this as well... and you have to be AT work to do it. (as in not on break) So I usually just read the trivia and shrug my tail and never post a response... But this time I was all "hrmmm... could THAT be the answer?!" And I totally got it! It was "Multi-tasking!" So not only do I look like Sebastian (our fearless leader) but I think like him too! I feel so cool! Okay, now I'm REALLY off to go hunting...



Moose's Bogus Journey...

April 20th 2007 6:06 am
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Those contractor dudes didn't come yesterday, so Mom's locked us up for a second day in waiting for them. So my report on that will have to wait... yeesh! But here's a better story for yous guys:

So Moose followed Dad into his closet last night when Dad was laying out clothes for the morning. Moose likes it in there because the clothes smell like Dad and he can lay around sniffing shoes and shirts and such. But he also climbs and claws up suits, so Dad usually doesn't allow him in there... But Moose was being sneaky, so Dad didn't see him, shut the door, and we all went to bed.

Now those of you that don't know my brother Moose too well, he was neutered too early in life and among his many goofy traits to result is one that when he talks it sounds like a tiny kitten... Only he doesn't get that seagull like LOUD kitten noise, just that soft "Ehh ehh!" noise. Really! Even when he's in mortal danger he's just calling this soft little "Ehhh ehhhh!"

So there's Moosie all shut in the closet making his "Ehhhhh!" noise to sleeping ears. Captain and I were sleeping, so were Mom and Dad. It was all one big happy sleeping family minus Moose... Suddenly Mom just woke up, sat bolt upright and says "Where's the MOOSE?!" Well, now we responded with a proper paw stretching and formal group yawn of a couple of cats and Dad that have been woken up in the night. But MOM just started running around calling him and looking in cupboards, in the laundry closet, on the front porch... We realized that after a little while, she really was having trouble finding him.

Finally Dad and us got up and started looking around too. Dad was outside walking around the house in case he got out a window, and Morgan was running around with Mom looking concerned and just plain excited to be running around with Mom in the middle of the night... I suddenly heard the faint noise of the Moose call! I walked over to Dad's closet and sat down. Bathed my paw until Mom came by and said "Is he in THERE?!" Opened the door, and a frightened Moose came tumbling out! Mom snatched him up and called outside for Dad. They both stood there hugging and comforting the silly Moose! He's the silly Moose that got himself trapped! How about hugging the SUPERHERO that saved him!!!!?! Silly humans.

But yes YES, I know! I'm glad he's safe too. And we all went back to bed. bathing and cuddling the Moose... Dad sure had a hard time falling asleep after that. Must have been the guilt of locking up his Moose!


Fires are BAD!

April 23rd 2007 6:55 am
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OKAY so so Mom and Dad herded all of us into the bedroom Friday morning and then left us in there. At first we just jumped around, played, conversed about the novelty of having a litter box and feeding station in the bedroom... Then this loud bell noise, and Mom answering the door. TERROR strikes!

Then we heard loud men talking and stomping around. Then a truck making a loud motor noise, and all this crashing and banging noises!!! Moose and I found hiding places (Moose under Dad's night stand, me under the covers) while Captain Morgan (ever the bravest of brave) took action! He jumped into the open window and started calling for help.

I heard Mom outside the window talking to him, but I was all "oh, no! I'm staying RIGHT HERE till this is all over!" She assured the Captain that it wasn't time to abandon ship, and that we were just getting a good new wood stove put in the crew's quarters... I was still scared. There were even foot steps on the roof! The ROOF! That's where those scary pigeons roost!

So I just stayed put and several hours past. Finally I heard the men leave and Mom shutting the front doors. Then her foot steps down the hall, right over to the bedroom! She opened the door and Captain BOLTED out of there to inspect the ship! Moose climbed out on top of the night stand and sat calmly peaking out the door, eventually creeping out very slowly.

I just stayed flat under the covers until Mom started calling me, and then I chirped back and tried to make my way out of the covers... I forgot how I got under there so I was a bit lost there... poked my head out finally and there was MOM! I chirped and ran over to her for comforting! What a scary day.

And last night human Dad did something scary... He lit a fire in that new thing that the loud men were apparently installing! Fire's BAD , Dad! Moose and I looked at it, I crept closer to make sure it was contained... Then just in case it wasn't, Moose and I dashed outtah that room! Captain of course laughed at us and sat by it, watching sparks fly around inside it. All ready to pounce, no doubt! Scary scary times... Fires are BAD!

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