Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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How You Doin?!

January 31st 2007 4:44 pm
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My Friend Lucy just sent this idea for a caption to my primary photo!!! So now I have the giggles!

"BTW, Mama came up with a caption for your main picture: *doing her best Joey Tribiani impression* 'How you doin?'"

 

Long Weird Story About How I Lost My Fifth Fang!

February 1st 2007 7:03 am
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Okay, so REALLY WEIRD story for you guys today! Dad says it's weird because it had to happen, Mom says its weird I'm so sensitive to my dental happenings.

Well, yesterday that fifth fang was bleeding most of the day, and it hurt so bad to bite anything that I didn't eat any food, and kinda moped around batting at toys with my paw. I was a very poutin, sad, little super kitten. Mom says I whimpered a lot. And then when I didn't eat my wet cat food dinner, Mom and Dad knew something had to be done about that tooth.

So I was sitting on the couch with the Captain, taking our pre-bed-time nap, when Mom came over and started fiddling with my loose tooth. Now this was like the third time today that she'd jumped on me and wiggled my tooth around for who knows what reason, so I was going to teach her some manners. I chomped down on her finger really hard! I mean I BIT that danged finger!!! And just then I felt the tension of my tooth kinda give out... I can't explain it too well, but I sat there kinda shocked from the shear pain of it! I wanted to scream, but her finger was still clenched in my jaws.

Mom lifted up my lip and looked to see my tooth dangling there from my gum. I let them wrap me up in a towel, petting me, cooing over me, and then Mom reached in my mouth and pulled it out. And it hurt when I bit Mom, but that strangely didn't hurt at all! I gave Mom a look that clearly said "FINALLY! Take that stupid fang away!!!"

Mom carried me into the kitchen, where I immediately started guzzling food. I was just ravenous! She put down a whole pile of kitten treats for me, and was dangling toys for me to pounce on! Oh, what a great end to that horrible day!!! And after almost a week of being a Five Fanger, I am HAPPY to have lost that extra fang!!!

 

Message from Sparkman's Mom

February 2nd 2007 7:20 am
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Hello Sparkman's Kitty Friends!

Just a quick note to let you all know that Sparkman will not be online today to play. Instead he is spending the day with his favorite female vet, being neutered. Thanks for the rosettes and kind messages! I'll read them to him when he comes home. He'll see you tomorrow!

Love
Sparkman's Mom

ps-- Both of his brothers have updated their diaries, if you're in need of non-educational reading.

 

Follow up message from Sparkman's Mom...

February 2nd 2007 10:41 am
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The vet just phoned to report that Sparkman is coming out of the anesthetics and doing fine! The procedure went well, without any surprises. They're keeping him until 4 pm for observation... He'll be back to his back flipping, tail biting self by tonight!

Purrs
Sparkman's Mom

 

How I lost my giblets!

February 3rd 2007 7:14 am
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I am just a bundle of purrs and cuddles this morning! Yesterday was a little scary, until I realized Mom left me with an ENTIRELY FEMALE STAFF at the vet's!!!! I am becoming quite the Casanova, so that was GREAT!

And then I zonked out for a while... When I came to my rump was sore and my eyes had this goo all over them. I could barely see, but by the time the vet called my Mom to tell her I was awake, I was already batting at all the toys in my cage and purring. I was chewing on my octopus toy when they brought me in my carrier in to Mom. Apparently I was a smash hit at the vet's and all the girls there had to coo over me, and come out to say good bye before I left. *sigh* Fans!

While I was zonked, Captain says they scuttled me barnacles, but I know what really happened... They clipped my claws short!!! I mean, they're still there, but I can't claw at anything!!! Very distressing. Those women must have been evil sirens from Mercury! Who else would clip my claws?!

So I got home, saw Captain Morgan and Moose. Did a back flip ninja styled move and bit Captain's ankles. Then I pawed at Moose's head and chewed on his ear.

Later, while playing around and being anything but calm and relaxed, I apparently sat in the water fountain and pawed/splashed all the water out onto the floor. I did this apparently three of four times. Only stopped becaues Mom moved the water fountain to the bath tub. I totally don't remember this... I really only remember my ninja like back flip roll into the attack on Captain's ankles! That was amazing!! I am SO COOL!

Captain Morgan did lounge on the couch with me later and bathe all the vet smell and goo off me. Thanks Captain! I am feeling just fine this morning! Miss my claw tips, though.

 

Heroic Epic Late Night Battle with Evil Orange Mastermind

February 9th 2007 7:01 am
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It is my mission today to kill the orange knit ball!!!! Clearly it is an evil mastermind, controlling all the bad stuff that happens in the world... like human babies falling down wells, humans' addictions to sitting in vats of water called "bath tubs," and the worst, the human that runs the "flavor" department at the healthy cat food factory!!

I started my campaign a few nights ago when I dragged the evil orange ball into bed and started gnawing on it. I was trying to poke out its eyes and cut off its vitals, like its tail and ankles!!! Well Mom woke up (how was I to know she was sleeping in our bed in the middle of the night?! Thats where you sleep during the day!!).

So she woke up and reaches around like a blind lady till she finds what I'm gnawing on. Then she takes the squishy, wet ball demon and makes the worst face ever! I was all sure that it had made an attempt on possessing her soul or something!Then she does the bravest, most generous thing ever-- she threw my evil mastermind, orange ball clear across the room! It bounced off the closet door and rolled over by Dad's night table. Laid there stunned and well... deflated looking.

So I picked up my heals to go after it. And then, who do you guess was also in bed sleeping in the middle of the night-- DAD?! Opps. I ran clear across his neck or chest. But he just kinda woke up and rolled over. Not nearly as fun as waking up Mom!

So anyways... The fight is on and the orange mastermind of zenda must be conquered!!! Or at least dragged into the litter box... Good thing I only wake Mom and Dad up like that a few times a week. Any more than that and they might get mad at me... oh, wait. I'm too cute to get mad at. HA HA HA!!!

 

Super Kitten Goes Super Catster!

February 15th 2007 6:46 am
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Oh my oh my oh my!!!!! Dad gave us Catster Plus for Valentine's Day!!!!!! WOW!
This is so exciting! Now there's so much to explore and learn... Wow. AMAZING!
I don't really know what a bio-field is (other than a place to brag about finding my Dad) and now I have a gazillion! ooooooooooowwwww!!!!

Anybody that has friendly advice, feel free to pawmail us!!!!

PURRS
--SPARKMAN!

 

Orange Menace Defeated!!!

February 16th 2007 11:56 am
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Happy to report that with the last litter box changing, the corpse of the much feared, orange ball of evil was sent to that big garbage dump in the sky!!!! After much gnawing and kicking and attacking, I finally wrestled it into the litter box... Moose did the honors, and Mom was so disgusted with the looks of our orange monster that she agreed that it was dead, dead, dead!

In other news, Mom gave my blue cloth mouse a new silky head!!! Which is SUCH a relief! After I gnawed through its ears to its fluffy innards, I was afraid it was the end for poor blue mousie... But Mom came to the rescue! I sat on her lap overseeing all repairs to my beloved friend, and ran off with him afterward for a good licking and cuddling. It's good to have a Mom.

 

New Game Plan.

February 18th 2007 12:37 pm
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This new game I invented, it gets your humans out of bed in the night (you know, when they really should be up playing with you) and you use your amazing super strength and its just so fun and I managed to make the Captain fluff up like a raccoon!!!!

So the other night I was pouncing around on the bed as usually when I say a button! Now you might know how incredible buttons are, but when I see Mom's wearing them I will literally run down the hall and across the computer room and clear over her typing fingers just to bite the buttons on her shirt... So there's one sitting on the bed! I started biting at it, trying to take it away, when I realized someone had gotten it stuck to a quilt. So I just kept pulling and running backwards until the quilt and I both ended up on the floor.

Now I really wanted that button for my bat cave hoard, so I kept pulling on it and we (the quilt and I ) ended up in the hall. Well, Captain Morgan was walking past and saw me and this huge mass of cloth coming and he just fluffed up like a blimp! It was hilarious! All his fur was just up on end, his tail was like HUGE. Mom and Dad both jumped out of bed, Dad for the blanket and Mom to comfort the Captain. Fun, right?!

So last night I took off with that plaid blanket with the fringe... SO MUCH FUN! I can't wait till tonight, they'll never expect if I grab the thick wool one!!! Rawr! I'm so amazing. I'm a super kitten!!!

 

Pssssttt!!!

February 19th 2007 2:05 pm
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Captain Morgan's birthday is this THURSDAY!!!!
He'll be TWO!

Purrs
SPARKMAN!

 
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