Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Sparkman laments the lack of green beans in the garden.

May 18th 2014 2:18 pm
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Outside is almost greening up! I'm so excited! I wake up, and beg to go outside. I come in and nap, then I beg to go outside again! And then I of course get the munchies and want a green bean. Picture this; I'm outside, get Mom's attention, and walk her over to where the green beans were growing last summer. The trellis is there, but there's no beans. I yell at her and she tells me that the green beans haven't grown yet. I know that. I can see the dirt and lack of leaves. I just keep hoping she'll find one like magic; pull it out of my ear like a quarter or something. I miss the fresh green beans. And I seem to go through this routine with Mom every day... Groan... Do you have any green beans in your yard? Can I move there? And can I bring my Captain? I don't think I can move without my pirate.

 

Sparkman whines about the rain...

May 8th 2014 6:06 am
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Hello purrs to all my fur-ends! Don't worry, I haven't left you and logged off Catster for good! But I have been unusually quiet lately. With all the cyber bullying and issues lately, I've just gotten out of practice of making Mom log on and help me find all my friends. But I'm not planning to be gone forever! And get well soon, Catster web page!

I've been getting to go outside again, FINALLY! There's finally no snow in my yard and grass is just starting to green up. (I live in a cold place!) But today it's raining. Mom and Dad are both home to take me outside (I only go outside with my humans and on a leash. I am a very proper and civilized dude cat). But it's raining! So Mom opened the back door so I could sit by the screen door and sniff all the rain smells. So now I'm lounging by the screen door and whining at the humans when they get close "Make it stooooop! I wanna go outsidddddde! Ehhhhhhh!" Rain rain go away, Sparkman wants to go out and play! Ahhhhhhh! pout.

 

Sparkman has a lot to say.

March 31st 2014 5:24 am
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I have a lot to say. Mom was trying to sleep in on her day off, but I have too much to tell her about. And clearly you need to hear my meowings too!

There was a bird out the window and and there was a squirrel and and I thought I saw a mouse on the floor in the dark but it was just a toy that PurrC left there. And and and and then there was another bird out the window. And the kibble is tastier today, did you do something different? PurrC bit my head. Why can't the faucet just be left on drip for me at all times? Can I have a green bean for breakfast? Why do we have to keep the Moose, I don't like him. Do you really need to sleep for so long, humans?! Can I have a potato? And why are there kids outside the window on the street corner every day at this time? Did you know that people walk dogs on leashes out the window? And why is the snow still here? Can I have a potato? And did you see there was another bird?! Captain tastes like tuna today. Did he fall in the fish tank? Do goldfish taste like tuna? Can I eat the lemon grass plant and barf it on the carpet? There was a squirrel RIGHT outside the window. Can I have a potato?.. Mawwwww! Mawwwww! Maaaaaaaaaawwwwwww!!!

 

Sparkman is naughty.

March 19th 2014 8:25 am
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I'm having a tiff with my Captain this morning. He was in the liter box and it was just offensive. It didn't smell, and I don't think he was doing anything unusual. But I was just ready to beat him up! I started out waiting outside the door to the room, hunkered down, shaking my little butt, and stalking him. I even raised my hackles! Mom saw me and was all "Aww! Look at the Sparkyman playing!" Then Once Captain came out of the box and started walking across the floor, I sprung into action! I lion run raced over, grabbed him by the neck and rolled him over bunny kicking. Captain gave out a yelp and threw me off, leaving me with a mouth full of black and white fur. Then Dad and Mom came running in the room. Captain jumped up to the scratching post, where Mom checked him over and gave him hugs. Dad just kinda looked at me and tried to take the fur out of my mouth. Then they left me on the floor, heaped over in a huff and periodically whimpering for attention.

Captain went to hang out on the radiator, but PurrC was already over there. PurrC takes his tips on how to behave from me. So he kinda gave Captain the stink eye, and Captain sat for a little while, but didn't get comfortable.

Now he's on Dad's lap with Moose and I'm on the couch trying to get some attention. Geez those humans like ignoring you when you're mad! I wanna be babied! I want attention! I want pets! I want green beans! Whaaaaaa!

 

Sparkman O'Leary McOrangebottom loves potatoes.

March 15th 2014 7:01 pm
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Happy almost St. Patrick's Day, everykitty! In past years I've changed my name to "Sparkman O'Leary McOrangebottom!" and I would this year, but since Catster is somewhat under construction, I thought I'd just write a diary entry about it instead. Happy Potato Day! It truly is the greatest holiday ever. Potatoes potatoes potatoes! Mom puts a pile of them out and lets me sniff and purr at each one. It is truly a wonderous day! Purrrrrs! I love you, Potato. And I love YOU, potato. And I adore you too, Potato... You're also a loved potato... I can hardly wait!

 

Sparkman's a DDP! And Mom tried to share yogurt with the- Sparkman.

March 12th 2014 9:09 am
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Hey! I'm a Daily Diary Pic! Thank you, HQ! This is my first award since Catster's almost demise last week. And I am SO VERY happy to be here still celebrating with my friends and loved cats. Purrs, everykitty!

Now, you clearly are logging on to read an amazing story of my cuteness. So here's a snippet of my morning escapades:

Mom's been eating these little cups of yogurt lately. I liked it when she was eating the plain yogurt in the big container. Plain yogurt is nummy. Not every day, but now and then I'd lick out the bowl for her when she was done. Mom says we don't usually mention it online because well, I'm known for my amazingly awesome eating habits (green beans, raw potatoes, kale...). But these little yogurt tubs are another matter. One of those few typical cat treats I partake in.

I saw Mom eating what smelled like awesome yogurt treat, so I came over to purr and be a good cute little boy that deserves yogurt. I laid it on really thick. I licked her fingers. I sniffed at her face and purred at her. Then I raised up my paw and just lightly brushed her cheek with my paw, claws relaxed but present. (You gotta remind these humans that you're being gentle and loving, but that you are the one with that could lash out and claw their eyes out at any moment!) So Mom coo-ed back at me and leaned over so I could rub my nose and cheek on her lips and face. Which I did, but I gave her an impatient look of "OKAY OKAY OKAY! Just finish your yogurt quicker I want some!" I then resorted to my kitten voiced yelp an hop at her, drooped my eye lids a little in a huffed purr noise.

She finally gave up the yogurt cup. I purred and ducked my head in, all excited about creamy goodness... And then YUCK! I sat up, stopped purring, and gave Mom a very angry cat look. She TRICKED me! I thought it was going to be plain yummy yogurt; and instead it was BLOOD ORANGE flavor! I ran off in disgust. I mean, who buys the weird citrus flavor?! And who the heck eats that gross stuff?! Mawwwwwwm! You're horrible! Hmpf!

 

March 4th 2014 2:23 pm
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Most years, March 3 would go by and I wouldn't even notice. But this year, I woke up March 4th (afternoon because I'm a proper cat) and shouted "Hellooooo CATSTER! It is good to see you still up and running!" Many purrs of joy to each and every one of you, my friends! Happy day after the almost shut down!

 

Grumble Gripe Moan Hisssssss..... The Cousin Kittens- Visiting Again.

March 1st 2014 7:48 am
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ManCat! Those kitten cousins are back for more babysitting. They're wrestling and playing on the carpet and I'm defending my mesa radiator. It has a big piece of marble on it that makes a warm mesa like a wild ferocious mountain lion panther jaguar would lounge on. So clearly, I tell everybody it's for orange cats only. But with these little cousins, I have to defend it and announce it's for orange and WHITE cats only! Cause one of those little dudes is peachy. The other is black. Together they are one rolly polly ball of wrestling weirdo.

This is their first visit where they're big enough to climb up to my ceiling catwalk. I used to hide from them up there. Fang it! Nothing is safe from these little monsters! They even found our leather catnip mouse. Wow are they going nuts with it! Moose tried to sniff it last night and hissed at it; smells like kitten spit now. That's gross. Kitten spit is toxic venom. I am sure of it.

Mom assures me that they go home tomorrow and that I shouldn't be so upset, because they have at least learned to stay away from me in their bouncing crazies. But even their trill sounds in the next room make me lay my ears back.

But there's one more rant/complaint I must get off my fury chest: they eat green beans! Mom says that unfortunately they've sorta grown up watching me eat veggies. And while most of my veggie tastes have not transferred over, the one for green beans has. So usually when Mom's feeding me a green bean that I don't feel like finishing, she places it in our food dish for me to snack later. But now it's all "Oh, luk! A greeen bean fo kittuns?!" And they just run off with it. Sometimes they eat it, sometimes they just leave it out for the humans to step on.

Mom says she has to stop typing now. One of the little monsters just ran up to her and he's covered in potting soil. That's not good! Off to the sun room to check the plants!

Grumble gripe moan hissssssss!

 

Sparkman was mad at Mom, but got over it.

February 17th 2014 11:28 am
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I guess I can forgive Mom. She took me to the Vet last week (Along with Moose & Captain!) and I was sure mad at her. I mean, she let that vet stick me with needles, take my blood, pick at my teeth, and even call me the "B" word! Not the female dog word, the worse one: BIG! I prefer the word "Tiny." When people at our house use the "B" or the "H" or the "G" words, Mom usually is quick to correct them for me... But not with the Vet human! She just lets that Vet insult me. Then Mom immediately comes home and starts doling out less dry cat food. LESS FOOD! She's clearly trying to starve me.

But it's been a few days of pouting and moping and refusing to play. I think Mom learned her lesson. She's still not feeding me as many green beans as I'd like, but I guess she thinks she has more things to do than just hand feed me green beans all day. That and apparently she thinks if I eat more than 5 beans in a day, I'll gack. Humans!?! They're so silly sometimes.

But today I'm following Mom around and chirping at her. I even followed her outside on the deck again. It's a blizzard snow storm today, so neither of us stayed out too long. She said I looked like a "Frosted flake" when I came in. I don't know what that is, but it must be tiny, orange and white. Ahhh, Moms! They need disciplining sometimes, but it's sure nice to have her around to wait on me hand and foot. Purrs!

 

Sparkman sings to you...

February 12th 2014 9:49 am
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(Sparkman's been playing with catnip all morning)

Have I told you lately that I love you?!
Shall I tell you, once again, somehow.
Have I told you LATELY that I love you?!!!
Well, Catsters, I'm telling you nowwwwwwww!...

 
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