Smokey's Thoughts

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Mrs. Mo Stone

March 11th 2014 5:07 pm
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I have just returned from a deliriously joyful honeymoon with the cat of my dreams, my husband, Mo Stone. After the most beautiful wedding I could ever imagine, Mo whisked me off to Europe. Our first stop was in my home country of Russia where I am the reigning Czarina. We visited the Winter Palace, Catherine's Palace, had some of the most wonderful dinners and Mo even tried some traditional Russian foods, and visited parks. I surprised Mo by dancing the lead with the Bolshoi Ballet. He had no idea I could do that! We also went shopping and picked up lots of gifts for the family.

Next we arrived in Paris and stayed at a luxurious hotel. We dined on fine French food including at the restaurant at the top of the Eiffel Tower. We toured the Louvre, a museum I've always wanted to see. It was fabulous. Before returning home, I hired a private jet to take us back to Moscow to the Grand Kremlin Palace where I officially made Mo a Czar to co-rule with me. All the cats of Moscow turned out. They were so happy with Mo as their Czar they even set off a great fireworks display in his honor. We had our official portrait as Czar and Czarina taken. We will have to find the perfect spot to hang it in the house.

Now we are back home in Harmony Falls. Our honeymoon was a fantasy come true, but it is so nice to be home. Now we can relax and settle into our new life as a married couple. I've never been so happy in all my life and it's all thanks to my darling Mo!

 

SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOP!

December 18th 2013 1:37 pm
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That's right. I am at this very moment standing on my roof and shouting to the whole world: "I AM THE LUCKIEST CAT IN THE WORLD BECAUSE I AM GOING TO MARRY MO STONE!!!!"

*Gets down from the roof*

I've been saying for weeks that as soon as our engagement was announced to the furramily I would shout it from the rooftops! Well, we announced it last night at the Stone Family Christmas party and now I've made good on my promise!

I am soooooo deliriously happy! Mo is the sweetest, kindest, handsomest, smartest, most thoughtful cat that ever stepped paw on this earth and I get to spend the rest of my life with him! I feel like I'm walking on air. I could spend hours just daydreaming about our life ahead, but I have to get busy planning our wedding. Oh, what a glorious day that will be!

 

Exposé!

June 14th 2013 1:24 pm
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Nofur will believe what I found today! It appears that Meowmy is planning her summer vacation. I thought that's what she was up to when I heard her and Grandma talking about going to Vermont this summer. I did some investigative work and just look what I uncovered! She has written up directions for the cat sitter to follow while she's away. I've copied and posted them below. So this is what she tells the other humans about us. I want to make clear that anything incriminating against me that you read in this is completely untrue. I am a perfect angel.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE CARE OF SMOKEY AND AUTUMN AMELIA

MORNING:
Smokey usually wants to go out first thing in the morning. She will take a quick trip around her realm to make sure all is well then come back in for breakfast. Autumn will just want to eat.

Put dry food in each cat’s dish in the morning. Put a few treats in each cat’s treat bowl.

MAKE SURE SMOKEY IS INSIDE BEFORE YOU LEAVE FOR THE DAY!

EVENING:
Give each cat ½ a can of food in the evening. They expect supper at 5:30 p.m. If you get back to the house later than that, feed them as soon as you get there. They will likely meet you at the door and demand supper immediately. Actually, Smokey will probably want to go out for a few minutes first. Autumn will just want to eat.

Autumn’s dish goes in front of the white cabinet and Smokey’s goes in front of the wooden waste basket.

CATS DISHES:
The dry food they have for breakfast goes into the smaller ceramic bowls. It doesn’t matter which cat gets which bowl. The canned food goes into the larger bowls. The blue bowl is Smokey’s and the one with autumn leaves is Autumn’s. The treat bowls are obvious because they have their names on them.

Lately, they have been switching bowls about half way through their meals. I don’t know why they do this, but at some point, they just decide to switch dishes. Let them do it, it’s okay. They eat out of each other’s dishes when one isn’t around. It’s okay, but you kind of have to keep an eye on them to make sure one cat isn’t eating most or all of the food and the other cat not getting enough. Mealtimes can be very stressful (for you, not so much for them).

MAKE SURE SMOKEY STAYS INSIDE AFTER SUPPER. BE WARNED: SHE WILL TRY TO TRICK, GUILT TRIP, AND BULLY YOU INTO LETTING HER OUT. DON’T FALL FOR IT. ONCE SHE’S HAD SUPPER SHE HAS NO INCENTIVE TO COME BACK IN AND SHE WILL TRY TO STAY OUT ALL NIGHT. THEN SHE WILL GET EATEN BY A COYOTE AND I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU. NO ONE WANTS THAT.

9:00 p.m. - TREATS
Put a few treats in each cat’s treat bowl. They know 9:00 p.m. is treat time. They will come and get you if you forget. Sometimes they try to get treats earlier than 9:00 and it’s okay if you want to give them treats between 8:30 and 9:00, but if you do, don’t let them try to get more treats at 9:00.

Once you get the treats into their treat bowls you have to stand between them until Smokey finishes (Autumn will finish first). Once Autumn finishes you have to block her with your body from going to Smokey’s bowl. Keep at it until Smokey finishes. Otherwise, Autumn will push Smokey away and take her treats.

Please put the treat bags back in the cabinet after you put the treats in their dishes. If you leave them out they will wait until you leave the room then rip them open to get at the rest of the treats.

WATER:
Be sure the water fountain is full and running at all times. Add water to the basin if it looks low or starts making weird noises.

LITTER BOX:
Please scoop litter box at least once a day. Put waste into plastic bag. If the bag gets too full, tie it up and throw it in the blue trash container outside. I usually scoop the litter box in the evening. No matter where the cats are, when you finish, announce in a loud voice “CLEAN LITTER BOX!”, so that they know that it’s clean. They actually do wait for this announcement, especially Smokey.

GOING OUTSIDE:
Autumn is not allowed outside. Smokey is allowed out in the daytime, but only if someone is home to let her back in. Please do not leave her outside when you are not home and NEVER let her out after supper. In fact, it’s best to close the door while she’s eating supper. If the door remains open she will tease relentlessly to be let out. If you have to go out after the cats have had supper, please be very, very careful that Smokey doesn’t get out either as you leave or return. She’s very determined and very sneaky.

Smokey hates rain. If it is raining out she won’t go out, but she’ll be furious. Expect her to yell at you and slap you, but try to keep her from beating up on Autumn. Smokey also hates noises. If someone outside is making noise (running a lawnmower, bouncing a basketball, using a power tool, etc.) she will be afraid to go out and she will blame you. Accept it. No one has ever been able to convince her that the weather and the actions of the neighbors in their own yards is not the fault of the person holding open the door. Prepare for the wrath of the cat to descend upon you. It has taken a really long time, but Autumn seems to have finally figured out that she should hide during these times.

FIGHTS:
Sometimes they get into a tussle. Usually, if you just say “GIRLS!” in a loud, sharp voice, they will stop. Of course, they will look at you like “what?” Then they’ll start up again. Separate them if they get too rough.

ATTITUDES:
Smokey might slap your feet or legs if she gets mad at you for something, or even just for the heck of it. At least she keeps her claws in. For your own safety DO NOT pick her up unless you absolutely have to. She hates being picked up and she will whip around and go for your face. The claws may or may not come out. Don’t be deceived by her size. She is very strong and extremely fast!

Autumn is generally pretty laid back. Just don’t touch her pirate ship. She has a habit of giving little bites. They really don’t hurt and I’m pretty sure they are meant to be “love bites”. However, since she usually does it first thing in the morning, the other theory is that they are “feed me now” bites. Her other habit (and this is adorable) is that she likes to grab your leg as you walk past her. No claws and it’s mostly just a little tap. I’m not sure what it means. Since it usually happens in or near the kitchen I think it might mean that she is trying to push you towards the food so you can get some for her.

THE PIRATE SHIP AND THE BANANA:
The pirate ship has been moved to the front entryway. Autumn is still very possessive of it, so it’s best to just leave it alone. Smokey doesn’t usually bother with it so it shouldn’t be a problem. The catnip banana is Smokey’s favorite toy. Autumn knows that and when she’s jealous or mad at Smokey she takes the banana. Please try to keep fights over the banana to a minimum.

YOUR BEDTIME:
Lately, Smokey has been very insistent about what time I go to bed. She wants me to go to bed whenever she’s ready to go to bed for the night (usually no later than 10:30 or 11:00). She seems to think she can’t go to bed until I do. I don’t know if she’ll do the same with you. If it gets late and she starts meowing at you, it probably means she thinks you’re up too late and wants you to go to bed. It doesn’t matter whether she’s planning on sleeping in the same bed with you or not. She just wants you to know you’ve gone to bed so that she can, too. She’s becoming very strange and super bossy as she ages.

PETTING STATIONS:
Smokey has several petting stations. When she wants to be petted she will come to you, meow a lot and start to walk away, looking back to see if you are following her. When she gets to one of her petting stations, she will throw herself down on the floor and look up at you expectantly. You are supposed to pet her. She has a spot near her hips that she doesn’t like touched (she may have arthritis). If you accidently touch that spot she will whip around and try to rip your hand off. It’s better to stick with just petting her head and upper body. She will let you know when she’s had enough petting by slapping, biting or trying to wrestle you. When she does that, stop petting her if you know what’s good for you.

THE ROCKING CHAIR:
Mom's recliner/rocker in her bedroom is really Smokey’s chair. It’s okay if you sit in it, but Smokey might stare at you. She also might jump in your lap. If she does jump in your lap she will want to be petted. If she curls up on your lap you are supposed to pet her, rock her, and sing lullabies to her. She likes “On Top of Old Smokey”, “Rock-a-Bye Smokey” and some other lullaby that you’ll have to get my mom to teach you. She’s usually done after three lullabies and will get down.

SITTING ON THE COUCH:
Autumn is rarely affectionate, but lately whenever I’m sitting on the couch and she’s around she jumps up and sits half on the couch and half in my lap. I don’t know if she will do this with you or not, but in case she does there are a few things of which you should be aware. First of all, she does “happy claws” on your legs and expects to be petted non-stop. If Smokey happens to be around at the time she will glare at both of you. She hates it when Autumn gets any attention. This could account for why Autumn has started doing it. I’m usually eating something when Autumn does this, so that could also account for it. She may actually just be buttering me up for some food or planning a way to steal it. Whatever her motive, it’s probably not genuine affection, so don’t get a swelled head over it.

WHERE THEY ARE ALLOWED AND WHERE THEY ARE NOT:
They are allowed in all rooms, but try not to let them get closed into closets. They are allowed on the beds, couch and chairs. They are not supposed to be on the breakfast or dining room tables – good luck with that. They are allowed on the dishwasher and on top of the refrigerator, but not on the kitchen counters or the island. They are usually pretty good about those. They pretty much have the run of the house. They go in my craft room a lot (especially Autumn). I don’t know what they are making, but it must be a big project because they’ve been working on it for a long time. If they start hanging out in my craft room, please try to distract them and get them out of there. They are prone to eating craft materials and pulling out ribbons and beading wire and generally making a big mess.

CARRIERS:
Should an emergency arise which necessitates taking them anywhere, they should be put into their carriers. The carriers are in the basement. Smokey’s is the pink carrier that looks like a tent. Autumn’s is the hard plastic carrier. Warning: they HATE the carriers. They will fight being put in them. (Autumn is almost too big for hers). The best way to do it is to stand the carrier on end, pick up the cat and put her in hind-legs first. Quickly zip or lock the carrier, then gently lower the carrier to its correct position. Be absolutely certain that Autumn’s carrier is locked as she can and will open it if it isn’t. When putting the carriers in your car, please strap the seat belts around them. Hopefully, you will not have to do this at all. Oh, and they hide as soon as they see you take the carriers out, so you have to be as sneaky as possible about it. It’s best if you can close them onto the sun porch before you even go get the carriers. Be aware, though, that they will hide under the benches on the sun porch and you will have to crawl under and drag them out. It’s not easy because they will dig their claws into the rug, so be careful. Once you have unhooked them from the rug they will dig their claws into you. Expect there to be blood – yours.

HIDING PLACES:
If you can’t find the cats, try looking in their favorite hiding places. They both hide under any of the beds in the house. Autumn also likes to get on the top shelf of the metal shelving units in the basement and hide behind boxes. They have other hiding places that no one has discovered yet. I'm pretty sure they can make themselves invisible when they want to.

CLOSETS:
You probably won’t have any need to open any closets, but just in case you do, please be sure the cats aren’t in them before you close the door. More than once Smokey has slipped by me unnoticed and ended up shut in my bedroom closet. For some reason she likes to sit there and look at my shoes.

Lately, Smokey has been asking to go into my closet to see the shoes. If she stands at the closet door and meows that’s what she wants. You can open the door so she can go in and look at the shoes, but make sure she’s out before you shut the door. She usually does this a couple of times a day – once in the morning and once at night. She’s getting really weird in her old age. Humor her.

DOORS:
Neither cat likes closed doors. Closet doors should be kept closed, but doors to rooms should be kept open. They don’t like being closed in or out of any room. Autumn loves to hang out in the bathroom window. If you use the bathroom while she’s in there, try not to close the door all the way. It makes her very nervous. I think it goes back to a traumatic kittenhood experience. When she was a baby and had only been living with us for a few days, Smokey pushed her into the guest room closet and shut the door. We didn’t find her until the next morning. She was sitting on a shelf when I opened the closet door and practically fell out into my arms. (Smokey was furious that I let her out and hissed at me!) Ever since then Autumn has hated closed doors.

Autumn loves to look out the door of the sun porch. She also loves to have the front door open, so you can leave these two doors open during the day as long as you are going to be there.

WINDOWS:
Both cats love to sit in open windows. Their favorites are the ones in my bedroom and the bathroom window. Autumn also likes to sit on the little round table in the sun porch and look out over the birdbath and flower garden. Smokey likes the sun porch window that faces the back yard. Leave the windows open for them as much as possible. Just be sure to close them if it rains or if it’s supposed to rain while you are going to be gone. Rain tends to come in through my bedroom window that faces the neighbor’s house and everything gets soaked.

THUNDER STORMS:
Autumn is afraid of thunder storms. If there is a storm she will probably go downstairs or hide under a bed. Smokey is not afraid of storms and will continue her usual routine which consists mainly of sleeping.

BEFORE YOU LEAVE:
Before you leave the house, please be sure you know where both cats are just so that you know that when you left they were both inside and safe.

That’s all I can think of right now. I hope I haven’t missed anything important.


THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING CARE OF MY PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRLS!

HAVE FUN!

Note from Czarina Smokey: Meowmy included the phone number for our vet at the end of this, but I took it out. Just the thought of someone calling the vet is too horrible for anyfur to have to contemplate. *shivers*

 

A very bad day

May 15th 2013 5:41 pm
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It was a horrible day yesterday. I was sleeping on a chair in the den, which is in the finished part of the basement. I dreamed I was marooned all alone on a desert island with no food, no treats, no catnip, and no one to pet me. What a nightmare!

I was so glad to wake up. But wait! I looked around me and saw that it wasn't just a dream after all. When I tried to jump down from the chair I saw that there was water everywhere! I was surrounded by it! How could this happen in my very own palace?

Meowmy said it was one of those big things on the other side of the basement called a hot water tank. She said it broke and leaked water all over the basement. Bad, bad hot water tank! I was finally rescued and carried to safety upstairs and none too soon because the water was rising and my very life was in peril!

(Meowmy here - The Czarina is getting a bit carried away. The water was never more than an inch deep. If she hadn't been so fussy about getting her royal feet wet she could have "rescued" herself.)

Never mind what Meowmy types. I know what happened. And I have a theory. I don't think it was really all the water tank's fault. I suspect my little sisfur Autumn Amelia had a paw in this catastrophe. She's always taking things apart and, for some inexplicable reason, she especially loves to dismantle things with water in them. I remember when she first moved in here (a day that will live in infamy!). She hadn't been here long at all when she took apart the humidifier and ate the charcoal filter. It was a harbinger of things to come. She even spent several days trying to dismantle the toilet. Thank goodness she never figured out how to do that!

I sincerely believe that while I was sleeping Autumn Amelia took apart the hot water tank to flood the basement on purpose just so she could sail her silly pirate ship around in it. The more I think about it the more convinced I am that that's exactly what happened. Hmmph!

Well, the basement is dry now. The humans are a bit irritable because they won't get a new tank and have hot water until Friday, but that does not affect me, accept that today is my birthday and they are not paying nearly as much attention to me as they should be. They will have to make up for that in a big way!

However, my Catster furrends have sent me loads of rosies and birthday wishes and I want to purr a great big THANK YOU to all of you!

XOXOXOXO,
Czarina Smokey

 

Spring Tag Game

April 10th 2013 6:09 am
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Her Majesty, Queen Missy of Missylandia tagged me to play the spring tag game, so here it is:

5 things i like about spring are:

1 - Finding my very own sunbeam to sleep in.
2 - Open windows.
3 - Going outside.
4 - Autumn Amelia stays in, which means while I'm out she can't bother me.
5 - Chewing on fresh green grass.

I'm tagging 5 friends now.

since i am not sure who'd like to play i'll let my friends know via p-mail.

 

Invasion!

October 3rd 2012 7:52 am
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Yesterday morning began as any other ordinary day. I woke up Grandma and made her feed me. I slapped Autumn Amelia and hissed at her, my usual morning greeting to my little sisfur. Then I went outside to inspect my territory. Like every morning, I walked through the yard, sniffed the flowers, ate some grass, looked for bugs or rodents to chase, and watched the birds in the neighbor's yard. Ahhh...the good life!

Then it happened. While strolling through my back yard, I picked up the scent of an interloper. It didn't smell good. Suddenly, there he was. A huge dark gray cat with black stripes. Well, not stripes exactly, more like swirls. I've never seen a cat quite like him before, but my cousin, Greyson, assures me that he's probably a Bengal and Greyson should know since he is part Bengal. Anyway, this invader was walking through MY yard as though he owned it. The nerve! The gall!

I went right up to him and asked him just what he thought he was doing in MY yard. I still cannot believe his answer. It defies all rationality. He said, "I'm taking it over. It's my yard now." Just like that! As if he had every right to it! Appalling!

Well, I had a few words for him, I can assure you, and they weren't very welcoming. I told him this is MY yard, MY territory, MY home and that he must leave immediately. His response? "I'll fight you for it." Fight me? Fight me?! "I am the Czarina!" I announced. "This is MY REALM! You have NO business here. Go back where you came from!"

He wouldn't back down. He was out to overthrow my empire. I had no choice but to engage him in battle! It lasted but a split second. Before any damage could be done on either side, Meowmy and Grandma came racing outdoors (they had heard us arguing and, presumably, understood enough feline to know something was wrong) and chased him away. The invader retreated into the woods and I returned to my palace unscathed, but wary.

Autumn Amelia, who was no help at all I might add, was all puffed up like a giant furry balloon as I ran by her and headed for the basement. She was so nervous you would have thought she'd been the one who was confronted with the evil invader. She never even saw him, though she did undoubtedly hear our entire exchange.

I must make it perfectly clear that my running to the basement does not mean that I was afraid or that I was hiding. I am a Czarina after all! No, I was simply removing my royal purrsonage from the view of the lowly servants so that I could collect my thoughts and wash my fur in private. All this I did with Meowmy searching the basement for me, calling my name and sounding terribly worried. Once I was settled, I escaped upstairs without her noticing me, but she found me soon enough and I had to submit to the humiliation of being examined all over to make sure I had no injuries. It was an indignity, but other than a hiss, I offered no resistance since I knew it was being done out of concern for me. At times, we royals must make some concessions to the servants in order to show our benevolence. She must have understood my warning hiss, because she did not take me to the vet. That would have been the last straw! Instead, she told Grandma that I seemed perfectly fine. Well, of course!

I saw no sign of the invader this morning, but I did smell him. He left his scent on the door to my palace. This bears diligent watching. I think he is going to attempt a coup on my palace!

 

Thank you!

May 19th 2012 5:45 pm
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I just want to meow thank you to everyfur who sent me rosies and birthday wishes. My birthday was a very special day with lots of love, treats and mousies. Birthday wishes and rosies from my friends made it all the better!

 

Our new business

April 18th 2012 6:28 pm
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Meowmy has launched a new business. She thinks she's the owner, but really I'm the one in charge. Meowmy makes clay pins, beaded jewelry and decorative items. She even makes beautiful pins in the shape of a cat with a big ribbon and roses. If you tell her what colors you want the cat, ribbon and roses to be she'll make it just the way you want it. She also has earrings she calls Tiny Tigers. They are brown cat faces with tiger stripes. If you want to see these and all the other stuff she makes you can check out her website at www.handmadebyeileen.com

Here is why I say I am in charge: Meowmy is the person who does all the manual labor. I supervise. Doesn't that make me higher up in this company that Meowmy? Seriously, I sit on the work table giving her loads of inspiration. I pick out beads, paint and clay colors and show her exactly how to use them. She couldn't do it without me. Also, I decide when it's time for a break so she can give me treats. And whatever money she makes? Well, I am pawsitive it will be used for my food, my treats, my toys... Well, you get the idea.

 

A Cat's Worst Nightmare

September 28th 2011 12:28 pm
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It has happened. Meowmy's neice has come to visit. She is staying with us for a whole week. Why is this a nightmare? Because Meowmy's neice is a *shudder* Veterinary Technician! Worse than that, she teaches other humans how to be Vet Techs at a college in Phoenix where she lives. She is passing on her evil knowledge and cat torturing techniques. Her whole life is dedicated to the evil practice.

Meowmy and Grandma, the traitors, let her into MY PALACE. She brought a man with her who she calls her fiance. Meowmy says that means they are going to get married. He pretends to be very nice and, heaven help me, I love the way he pets me, but let's think about this. He is going to marry a V-E-T person, so there must be SOMETHING wrong with him.

The very first day they were here I inspected their suitcases while they were out. I smelled five different cats! I couldn't find the cats,though, so I don't know what they've done with them. I shudder to think!

The next day the V-E-T person dared to pick me up. I went for her face. That stopped her. Or so I thought.

Later, I was minding my own business resting in the bedroom windowsill when suddenly Meowmy (traitor) and the V-Person appeared in the room. Autumn Amelia was sleeping on the bed and was easy prey so they grabbed her first and clipped all her claws.

I should have known. I should have seen it coming. But I was so enjoying watching the little brat get her claws clipped that I never gave it a thought. The next thing I knew the V-Person turned on me, grabbed me off the window sill and put me on the bed. She examined my nose and ears (which itch like crazy lately to the point where I have scratched them bloody)and she said to Meowmy, "looks like allergies. You should take her to the vet and get some meds for her.) WHAT?! Not only do I have to put up with a V-Person in my own palace, but I have to get in that horrible carrier and go to my vet's office, too?! It was all too much!

Next Meowmy (traitor)tried to hold me down while the V-Person tried to clip my claws. I am stronger and fiercer than prissy little Autumn Amelia. They could only get four of my claws before I got away. I managed to slap the V-Person before I dove under the bed. *grins at the memory*

The very next day, Meowmy (traitor) sneaked up on me while I was napping and whisked me into my carrier. I remembered the words of the V-Person: take her to the vet. Get meds.

I knew where we were going.

At the vet they did unmeowable things to me with a thermometer. Then they poked around all the scabs on my nose and ears. The vet said I have seasonal allergies (I get them every year)so she gave me a shot - yes, that's right - stuck a needle right into me. She said it would make me stop feeling so itchy, but that if we don't get a hard frost within the next two weeks I will probably have to get another one. I know humans control the weather. If there is no hard frost to kill my allergies between now and then and I have to get another shot, I will know for sure it is all part of their great conspiracy.

Then my traitorous Meowmy asked the vet to clip my claws. She told her how she and her neice had only been able to get four of them. So the vet got one of her minions to hold me down and they wouldn't let me go until all my claws were clipped. I've never hissed so hard in all my life, and believe me, I have hissed a lot in my time (living with Autumn Amelia causes uncontrollable hissing).

As if all of this was not bad enough, the vet actually brought out a camera and took a close-up picture of my scratched up nose. She said it's so that when my allergies come back next year she can compare it. A likely story. It was simply to embarrass the cat. Will the horrors and humilations never cease?!

She let it slip that the picture would be kept in my file. So... they are keeping a file on me, ay? I've always suspected a conspiracy involving those V-people and now I have the proof. Yet I find myself to be the main target, especially since one of their kind has invaded my palace. Notice that I had to go to the Vet because the neice told Meowmy (traitor) to take me. It was a set-up. She did not come here to introduce her fiance to us, nor, as she claims, to be in her friend's wedding. That was a clever ruse, but not clever enough for me. I've figured out that much. Now I just need to ferret out what sort of plans they have in mind. I suspect they want to do experiments on me to find the secrets of feline intelligence superiority over that of humans. Ha! That is not something they could ever understand.

 

Autumn Amelia and the Flying Chicken Salad

January 20th 2011 12:00 pm
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I am writing this in my diary because my little sisfur, Autumn Amelia, is probably too embarrassed to write it in her diary even though it happened to her. It's too funny not to share, so I just have to.

First of all, you must know that the dishwasher (not a built-in)is right next to the refrigerator. My food dish is kept on top of the refrigerator because if I eat on the floor like my sisfur, as soon as she finishes inhaling her food, she comes to my dish, pushes me out of the way, and eats all of my food. So Meowmy started feeding me on top of the fridge so that I could at least eat in peace.

A few days ago Grandma was standing at the counter next to the dishwasher. She was making chicken salad. She had placed the mashed up chicken in a bowl to which she had added chopped celery and sliced olives. She had mixed the mayo in and was just turning away to get a plate out of the cabinet and bread from the breadbox to make her sandwhich.

Suddenly there was a loud crash and we all turned to see a blur of calico fur flying through the air along with the bowl of chicken salad, two placemats, and a basket full of pens and pencils.

Autumn Amelia had jumped from the floor to the dishwasher and then attempted to jump from the dishwasher to the top of the refrigerator in order to steal my food. However, she has such long fur that even the pads of her paws are covered with fur and she didn't get a good grip. When her paws hit the two plastic placemats that were on top of the fridge, she slid right off along with the placemats. On the way down, she took the basket of pens and pencils and Grandma's chicken salad with her! The bowl landed upside down on the kitchen floor. What a mess!

Well, you would think she'd be in BIG trouble. But no! The "adorable" furball gets away with everything. Meowmy went running to her saying, "Autumn, sweetie, are you okay?" and checking her all over to be sure she wasn't hurt. She was fine, just scared and embarrassed. Grandma started picking up the pens and pencils and in the midst of them she found a letter opener. "I've been looking all over for this!" she exclaimed. Meowmy said, "what a good girl, Autumn found it for you."

Good girl?? Let's recap: Autumn Amelia attempts to STEAL MY FOOD, sends placemats, pens and pencils flying through the air, and turns Grandma's lunch upside down on the floor. And she is a GOOD GIRL? *sigh* The only justice here is that she didn't get my food, but she got what she deserved for trying to steal it.

 
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