Mom is overwhelmed

Mom is simply overwhelmed with all the kindness you all have shown to her during my illness and after my passing to the bridge. She wants to thank each of you. She hasn't been able to respond to every single message or rosette or star, so she's hoping you all will read this. She has been "dragging" - just tired and depressed, and has only had the energy really to do the things she must do (like taking other kitties to the vet).

Bud slept between Mom and Dad the night I died - and he has never done this, even on the nights I didn't come to bed, because that was my spot. And Sarah has been crying and following Mom around. Mom thinks Sarah is trying to ask where I am. I never buddied up with anyone like I did with Charlie, but I tolerated Sarah more than most and sometimes when she would bathe me, I would lick her head too. She's a sweet little girl.

Purred until the end

Mom didn't take me to the vet in a carrier, but in her arms. She held me and we danced like we always do, which made me purr. When they were ready, they put me on one of the special fuzzy blankets Mom made for me. I was still purring, and I purred until my last breath. I went easily, which was a blessing for Mom, Dad, and me.

Again, thank you for all your good wishes. I have been with Mom almost her entire adult life and now she's trying to figure out how to be an adult without me. I kept her in line, you know. I taught her about responsibility from the get-go. She was in college, going to school full time and working as well, but it never occurred to her to call a shelter or humane society when I came.

She took responsibility for me when I showed up, and for Charlie, the neighbor's cat that I brought home. She had to figure out how to pay for large vet bills from the beginning because my blockages started almost right away and Charlie was sick too and his owners were unwilling to take him to the vet. She just realized that she never asked her parents for money for vet bills because they might have told her she shouldn't keep me. So she figured it out.

And Mom and Dad didn't go on any vacation to see any family unless we were welcome too wherever they were going. Charlie and I were quite the traveling cats back in the day. We lived in Nashville, TN and traveled to northwestern IL and Georgia 3 or 4 times a year. I always took everything in stride.

There will never be another cat like me, Mom says.

My Last Day

I haven't been outside in years but on Sunday Mom opened the door and let me walk outside with her on the deck and the fenced yard. It was a beautiful day, not too hot, with a nice breeze that set the wind chimes going. Monday I got to go outside, too, supervised.

Last Friday Mom realized that the tumor has grown into my jaw joint, making it difficult for me to eat and take my pills. So I am on almost no medication right now and eating lots of different kinds of canned food. But it has become painful for me to eat over the last few days.

Mom realizes that she can prevent me from having even more pain by letting me go even though she's not at all ready to do this and thought she had months with me, not days or weeks. So she and Dad have decided that today is my last day. Dad took off work. I will spend some time outside if I want and eat whatever I want. Then I will join Charlie Bear at the Bridge.

Cancer Update

Ok, so my mom had a typo (she's fixed it now) in the last diary entry which confused some people. She was upset and didn't proof read it before putting it up. But basically, a couple of days after my last chemo treatment I was not doing so well. I wasn't eating well and my breathing was kind of fast. I was not the same kitty. Mom didn't know if it was the chemo or the cancer doing this. Because actually, I got less chemo the second time around because they had forgotten to order the special stuff called bleomycin.

She took me in for bloodwork and chest x-ray and all of that looked fine. So they couldn't find a reason for my odd breathing other than possibly discomfort. I had one really good day the day of these tests, but then I started a stronger pain killer that night. The next day I was wobbly and sort of stumbling around. So they took me off that pain killer. I stopped eating well again, was still wobbly, and not very social. The pain killer also had not changed my breathing.

So the pain killer should have worn off by now and I not as wobbly, but I'm still not totally stable. So mom is wondering if the tumor has started to invade the brain and is causing some of this. I am still on pain meds, but just not the new one. I'm on tramadol again. I don't act like I'm in pain. I stuck very close to mama yesterday and last night I ate like a pig.

She doesn't know what she's going to do about the chemo yet. But we don't have to make a decision right now. The good news is that I am eating whatever I want!

Again, thanks to everyone for the good thoughts, messages, and rosettes and stars. Mom hasn't been able to contact everyone to thank them yet. One of her fosters, the pretty little Emma cat, had a couple of masses removed from her gums on Friday and mom is nervous about getting those biopsy results as well.

Second Chemo Treatment

I'm NOT taking this treatment as well as I took the first combo. So Mom isn't sure we are going to continue with it.

She apologizes for not responding to recent rosettes and messages lately and wants everyone to know we appreciate all the good thoughts.

Did it again!

I did it again! I held out on eating today (chemo pill last night) until Mom gave me Sheba instead of my prescription food. Man was it ever good! I scarfed it down, which led Mom to believe I was actually feeling fine and that I'm catching on to how to get Sheba on occasion.

Blood Work was PURRFECT

Before mom could give me the third chemo drug this week (this one is a pill and is administered at home) they had to make sure my white count was ok after the last chemo. So Wednesday night I got checked over and the blood work was purrfect! The vet called me a miracle cat because because they didn't really expect any improvement and now I can close my right eye! She said I look great.

Bad news is that Wednesday was my favorite vet's last day of work. Bud and I really like this vet, kind of have a crush on her actually. So that was sad. But we were her last patients of the evening I think so we got to say goodbye.

Mom fixed my necklace. I usually didn't wear a collar but a really beautiful (but boyish) necklace. Then it broke and she meant to fix it but decided every kitty needed to have a collar and tags on. Well, I'm definitely not a flight risk and she feels I should have my one-of-a-kind necklace on so I've got it back!

Two days after chemo

Good news, cats! Other than needing a little coaxing to eat (which was happening before the chemo) I seem to have had no effects. I have not acted like I was in pain (and I usually get extra cranky when I am), have not vomited or had diarrhea. So it appears that I can handle the chemo. On Wednesday I go in to have my white count checked, and if it's okay, I get another kind of chemo at the end of the week. I'm on a chemo combo so there are a total of 3 chemo drugs I will be taking.

Again, thank you for all the purrs!

I've been tagged by Stipey

I have been tagged by Gizmo!
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The rules: Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Cats who are tagged need to write on their own blog about the seven things and the rules. You need to choose seven cats to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your blog.

MY SEVEN FACTS:
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Clinton’s

1- I was named for President Clinton after the first election because I was as relentless as he was. I still am 
2- About every two years I become extremely ill, but I always pull through.
3- I may not be able to beat this cancer, but I am going to be around longer than the doctors think
4- My mom sometimes thinks I am the same cat she told all her troubles to when she was a kid.
5- I rule the roost, but I grudgingly share my kingdom with Bud the Sheriff, who polices the place.
6- The only other cat I truly loved was Charlie Bear. But I have allowed other strays to live here (but they’re still strays in my book).
7- I am afraid of rain and storms, and I can predict them better than any meteorologist.

I tagged:

1-Nicholas
2-Bearly
3-Edmund Hillary
4-Sallysue
5-Yoda
6-White Cat
7-Oldie

First chemo treatment

I had my first chemo treatment today. It was a chemo combo of two drugs, and a third chemo drug will be given at home next week if my blood count is okay. So far, I am purring and seem my normal self. We won't really know how it effects me until we see how my body reacts over the next few days, though. Mom is going to try not to leave the house except to do her kennel job very quickly and then come right back. She can probably manage to not be gone more than 45 minutes at a time over the next couple of days.

Thank you everyone for the good wishes. And I'm so sorry that my siblings and I haven't had time to take part in the game of Tag that is going around. It sounds like fun, but my typist is exhausted and just trying to keep up with the pawmail.