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How to wrap a CAT....MEOW =^..^=

GIft Wrap Your Cat

> Gift Wrap Your Cat!
>
>
> GIFT WRAPPING WITH THE HELP OF YOUR CAT
>
> 1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
>
> 2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut
> door.
>
> 3. Open door and remove cat from closet.
>
> 4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
>
> 5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
>
> 6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors,
> labels, etc...
>
> 7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable
> wrapping strategy to be formed.
>
> 8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
> drawer since last visit and collect string.
>
> 9. Remove present from bag.
>
> 10. Remove cat from bag.
>
> 11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
>
> 12. Lay out paper to determine size to cut.
>
> 13. Try to smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.
>
> 14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.
>
> 15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the
> paper.
>
> 16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the
> present came in.
>
> 17. Place present on paper.
>
> 18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't
> reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.
>
> 19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent
> sticky tape.
>
> 20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape
> from cat with pair of nail scissors.
>
> 21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
>
> 22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve
> ribbon.
>
> 23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
>
> 24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's
> enthusiastic ribbon chase.
>
> 25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.
>
>
> 26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of
> losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the
> right size for sheet of paper.
>
> 27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
>
> 28. Remove sting, open box and remove cat.
>
> 29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for a room
> with a lock.
>
> 30. Once inside locking room, lock door and start to relay out paper
> and materials.
>
> 31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close
> and relock.
>
> 32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear
> cat from outside door)
>
> 33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area
> of the toilet, but do your best)
>
> 34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt
> through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper.
> Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with
> this last year as well.
>
> 35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to
> make torn sheet of paper look presentable.
>
> 36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with
> sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide
> worst areas.
>
> 37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself
> on completing a difficult job.
>
> 38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
>
> 39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious
> conclusion.
>
> 40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
>
> 41. Go to store and buy a gift bag.