Things That Happened Last Year

Well, Mom had to get back surgery. They put a hospital bed in her bedroom for her to sleep in that month. I slept in it with her. I made sure Mary and Lee gave her the right medications, tucked her in properly, and fed her right. It's dangerous to have your personal slave be ill. If something happened to her, I'd have to try to break in that really stupid git (Lee) that she's married to. He would make a lousy cat slave. He can't even pick up his own laundry. The last week that hospital bed was here, Tam started sleeping in it with us. Mom said she'd be glad to get her own bed back because with Tam, there wasn't room for anyone else in that bed. Hospital beds are just too small. They aren't even as wide as Twin Beds.

When mom got all better, we started having to deal with the DOG again. I just hiss at the dog whenever I see her. Tam closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see the dog. Alaric, being such a low class cat, BEGS with the dog. Then Auntie Jo moved into the yard and her little dog, TOBY, is now in the house all the time. I just hate Toby even more than Jia. Toby tries to chase me. One day I will rip his face off.

Mary says I am not a nice cat. Well, she's not a nice human. She laughs when the boys don't mind me. And she won't let me slap the dogs. And she won't take Alaric's food and give it to me. And she won't let me take Alaric's food away from him. None of that is proper behavior. I am the Queen of this house, and I am supposed to be obeyed by EVERYONE. Mary says I am mean and she laughs at me. One day, I will get her.

We have some very good windows in this new house. I like the windows just fine. Tam hates it here, but we have a lot more room, and better windows.

No one gives me the respect that I'm due.

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Dog!

Mom and Mary are all excited and I finally figured out what a dog is: it's like that big Shannon that Mom used to baby sit for. And like that little black cocker thing, Star, that Auntie Atheris used to have. I don't see the point of those creatures.

Shannon was a pit bull, and Mom liked her. She ignored me. I did NOT like her. But she was an old dog and she was blind and kind of deaf, so maybe she just didn't SEE me. Still and all, I don't understand why they think that adding more animals to this household is a good idea. We need to get rid of the boy cats, not add a girl dog.

Mom is all excited about being able to take this Jia out in the truck with her. Well, if she would drive a Porche or some nice car, maybe I'd be willing to learn to ride in the car. But I don't want to be seen in a pick up truck. That just proves that dogs have no sense of class; that they will ride in a pick up truck. And for heaven's sake, WEAR BANDANNAS AROUND THEIR NECKS. Probably they wear those dumb pet rain coats, too.

I do not want a dog here. I plan on wrecking havoc until they take the dog away. Mom keeps saying she can't wait to see me around the dog, well, she'll be sorry she didn't wait forever.

The dog is supposed to be here on Sunday. We will see what happens.

Auntie Atheris told Mom to get a baby gate to make a safe place for cats. Well that dog is going to need a safe place before I'm through.

Alaric and the Cat Folder

Alaric is all upset because mom told him that there was a cat folder in her new car and asked him if he wanted to try it. The stupid git thinks it's some sort of dangerous machine that is out to get him. Mom and dad think it's very funny.

She got this new car because some fool crashed her truck. I want her to keep it, but she isn't going to. I think pick ups are a sign of low class here. She says she needs a pick up and when she can afford a car that isn't useful then she'll think about it. She needs a Porche. Or maybe a Rolls. I think I would look good with a human who owns a Rolls.

Anyway, back to the cat folder. *I* listened when dad said it was part of the satellite radio. I don't know why we need a radio in orbit, but apparently this is part of the mystique of new cars. New cars are supposed to have the latest technology. I don't see the point, but maybe humans do.

In the meantime, it's good to watch Alaric get upset.

Ha!!! I Escaped Again!!

Mom didn't close the door all the way again yesterday, and I got out. I went to visit that nice man with the Porche who I lived with the last time I got out, but he wasn't home. Mom went driving around in the truck and even saw me once. She informed me that I was trespassing on the neighbor's steps, but I ran into the bushes. (She can't follow me there.) She got upset. Her friend Francine thought I was under a parked car down the road from our house, but they went and called and everything, and it was just a kitten that I've never seen around here. Francine said, "Hey, well, now you've got a replacement!" And mom even said, "Well, I'll keep it in mind. Sure is a cute kitten." I heard all that and I did NOT think it was funny.

Mom called me a few more times, but I was exploring. I don't believe mom about all the dangers outside. It's very interesting outside and there are lots of birds and animals. Mom says that if I go out a coyote will get me, but I'm very fast. As for the raccoons, they are just too fat.

My guy with the Porche never did come home. I fooled mom, though. She went out and called me, and I was sitting on the deck in one of the deck chairs, and she never saw me, until she was in the dining room and saw me through the window. She came out and got me, and I didn't expect her, so I didn't have time to get away. She's mad at me because I have all kinds of burrs in my coat. Tough. It's her job to get them out.

And she keeps yelling at me because I am snarling at the boys. I hate boy cats. And Alaric and Tam keep telling me that they like it better when I'm gone. Stupid boys. Who will make sure there's food in the dish when I'm not here?

Mom Missed My Day of Glory

They picked me for the Daily Diary Pick on July 22. Mom has been doing so many events, she hasn't been on catster lately. So she didn't tell me about it for almost a month.

This beats Alaric's stupid haiku that he was so proud of.

Mom is spending way too much time on her stupid teddy bears. And not paying enough attention to me. I mean, really. I had to wait about half an hour this morning before mom would go in the kitchen and fill my food bowl. She's getting ready for Folsom Street, and I sure will be glad when THAT's over. Things get back to normal where I am getting attention then. This mad rush to make stuff is irritating. Especially when she doesn't appreciate my help. If she didn't want string and elastic mixed up and bonded together, she shouldn't leave them where I can reach them.

Mom is sneaking Alaric food again. She thinks he's getting too thin, so she buys him baby food. And ham. He's so dumb, he starts getting hysterical when she opens the refrigerator, so I am not missing anything. She can't get food to him without giving me some, too. If he were smarter, he'd shut up.

My Guy With the Porche

I got out. Mom came home from the doctor and didn't get the door completely closed. I was gone for two weeks, and I hear Mom was frantic. She put up posters with my picture and everything. I spent part of a week outside doing things, exploring the river and seeing things. There is a lady who puts out cat food that called mom and told her about me. Mom was going there everyday to look for me, but I actually found a new home that I liked.

I found a beautiful house near ours and went and knocked on the door. Believe it or not, there was this nice guy living there with GIRL cats, not nasty boy cats. He let me in. The girl cats did not give me a problem, and the guy named me Carlita. His cat sitter told him that someone was looking for me, but he did not believe her. He told her that I was his pretty new cat, Carlita. And he APPRECIATED me.

Anyway, I should have known it was too good to last. The cat sitter called mom, and she came and got me. I sat on the back of the seat in the truck and screamed in her ear all the way home.

I love mom, but I do not like living with the boy cats, and as for dad, well, he's totally useless. He doesn't understand my divine nature and the fact that I should be given what I want when I want it. He threatens to sit on me which mom calls "threatening her with the crack of doom."

Mom told her friend that I must have wanted a Porsche and that's why I moved in with that guy. And it's true that I'm an upscale cat forced to live at a lower level than I am entitled too. Mom's friend said Carlita was my "whore name." I was completely insulted.

I missed mom, so I guess I will stay, but now I know there is a place where someone will treat me the way I am destined to be treated.

Company

I should have known something was going on. Mom was making a lot of food (another turkey) and singing. Dad was being sent outside to clean off the parking deck. And mom shampooed the carpets the day before. I should have known.

And then, a whole bunch of people came in with wrapped presents and stuff. NONE of them was for me, however. Tam and Alaric went and hid. I let Aunt Cynthia and Jo admire me for awhile, but Jo brought in her dog, Star. I don't approve of dogs. Then again, if she'd brought Bug, there would have been bloodshed.

Anyway, then Juliet and Richard came. All the humans sat down and ate, then they unwrapped presents. Juliet came in and petted me and Tam, but Alaric went downstairs and refused to put up with anything.

Tam and I later made the rounds, but the humans didn't feed us anything, and the guys and mom were drinking BRANDY which is some icky stuff that stinks horribly. Mom only had one glass, but everyone had some Champagne, which is also nasty smelling stuff. We got petted a lot, but the noise level was high.

Finally, everyon but Jo left and she watched a movie with dad and mom, and then went to sleep on the sofa. Mom and dad said this was some sort of "adopted" family Christmas, but it just seemed like a bunch of humans making a lot of noise and mess in my house, without paying proper attention to me.

Aunt Juliet was the only one who really seemed to appreciate me.

Everyone came over again in the morning for breakfast. Then they finally packed up and went away.

Don't our people have any concept of how traumatic this is for us?

I think I need to find something to do to let Mom know just how annoyed I am with this stuff.

Out of Cat Food...

I am so mad at Mom. She let us run out of cat food. She gave us lots of canned stuff, but we are used to having dry food ALL THE TIME!!! Tam isn't too interested in canned food, but he did eat it the second and third times she served it. Alaric is such a glutton that he actually pushed me out of the way to get the first portion!!! I was so surprised that I didn't even hit him. The boys both know that I get EVERYTHING first. How dare he do that to me?

Dad said he must have had a "senior moment." (Alaric is 16.) If he does it again, I will have to do something to put the fear of the Goddess (ME!) back into him. Mom encourages him to flout me, and she knocks me on the head with her finger and yells if I snarl at him like he deserves. Just because I don't want him anywhere near her and me, she tells dad that if he gets within two feet of me, I will blow up. She claims she can hear the pressure building when he gets close. That is not true. There is no pressure at all, I'm just hissing at him. I just can't stand him, that's why I move. If Mom would let me smack him for cuddling up to her, then we would not have this problem.

Alaric Thinks He is So Hot

Alaric won Sibling of the Week in the Sibling Rivalry Forum. He has to share with Bianca, though. My haiku was much better than his, but I probably entered too late. I'll bet Alaric won only because his was the first entry. He seems all too pleased with himself, and Mom keeps telling him he's a star. Huh!! She wrote that haiku, I'll bet. He's so dumb he sometimes bites his own tail.

Mom and Dad went to a people party last Saturday night and a guy gave them the wood from two oak trees that he had cut down. They hauled it in on Sunday and Dad split some of it. Lucky he covered it up because the rains started today. Pouring and pouring all gray and gloomy. Those trees were so dead that mom is burning some of the wood now. We have a HUGE pile of wood, but it's mostly pine, so mom is still looking for hardwood. The landlord doesn't like us burning pine, but he understands where mom is at with the "can't beat the price." I hope someone gives us more oak. That burns so slow that the fire lasts all night and I don't have to wake mom up to put more wood in.

Mom is hoping to be able to get all the wood she needs for the winter from freebies on Craigslist. Whatever makes her happy, I say. Just as long as that stove stays warm.

She spent all day after she came home from the Food Bank (she volunteers there) on Tuesday and all day Wednesday sleeping. She said something just made her exhausted. I slept on top of her and kept Alaric away. Dad figures that it's the time change. She says that Tuesday is the busiest day at the Food Bank. I think it may be depression about her diabetes. She says she doesn't have it bad and can control it with diet, but she is pretty hinky about what she can eat now. Lucky they told her that a sandwich and chips was okay for lunch (just not many chips) or we'd not be getting our lunch meat snacks. I'm sorry she feels bad about this. She told Dad that one of her favorite meals is bean soup and cornbread (gag) and her sugar was too high after having it the other day. I don't care what she eats as long as we still get meat treats. It's just more fun if she's relaxed and happy. Alaric eats chips. And she doesn't eat ice cream when she has a cold, now. I like ice cream, and she lets me lick the bowl.

I hear that they are getting a new couch. I hate change. Change is bad. I like the one they have. It is leather and comfy. The new one is supposed to be leather, too. I just hope it is as comfy as this one or I'll be mad.

I hope everything get situated soon. I don't like things moving around. For that matter, neither does mom.

I Got Out

I managed to get outside last night. Mom didn't even notice until this morning. She nearly had hysterics when she saw me at the door waiting to get in. Something about a bobcat being seen in the area. I saw nothing but some fat butted raccoons and some deer. I can outrun a racoon. Dad left the door ajar when he was out cutting wood. Hah! Like he thinks I wouldn't notice.

It was interesting outside. I inspected the area where dad was stacking wood for my stove. He spent the weekend splitting all that wood that's been laying around since last winter. Some of it was from the house on the hill. A big tree fell on it last winter, and the tree guy gave mom and dad the wood if they'd haul it away. It's a big pile of wood, but mom is still wanting dad to go get some Acacia that some guy on Craigslist is giving away. We must use an awful lot of wood if she needs more.

They captured Alaric and took HIM to the vet this morning. Mom said he was going to get something called a senior panel, but apparently, they just weighed him, stuck a glass thing up his butt, and sharp things in his neck. And they suctioned some pee out of the cat carrier. He peed in the carrier. And he got it all over himself. The only thing he got was a jar of baby food once he was back home. Mom told Dad on the phone that the vet said he was a handsome boy (gag!) and HEALTHY as far as a surface check showed. He even has good teeth. She said he seems much younger than his real age.

Mom got some kind of machine today that she seems scared of. She has to poke herself with what looks like an ink pen, and then bleed on this thing that looks like a cell phone. Her doctor (that is a human vet) says she might have diabetes. Mom is scared of needles. Maybe it's a judgement on her for taking US to the vet. She's feeling depressed and Dad said they could both go on diets together. Apparently sometimes this diabetes thing goes away if you lose weight. I think Mom is just cuddly and Dad says he thinks she's perfect, but she said she needs to lose weight. The doctor said maybe just lose a few lbs. Mom said she needs to lose 75 lbs. but the doctor said not that much. People sure do worry a lot about weight. *I* know that I'm perfect no matter how much I weigh. I used to weigh 8 lbs when I was very young, but now I weigh 9.1. And the vet said I was beautiful and wonderful. But she did say I have a fat pocket in my belly. I didn't care to hear that, but apparently it's different than being fat.