Catster

return to top

Tales from My Kingdom

She Said, He Said

From my mom:
I don't know why, but I'm just exhausted today. Oh wait, could it because because a particularly cute and adorable but maddening cat could have woken me up several times throughout the night batting at the shades by my bed? I think it could be.

I tried yelling. Swatting. Clapping. Still, each time I was about to sleep. Suddenly ... bat-bat-bat-bat-bat ... ... ... feeling sleepy ... ... bat-bat-bat-bat-bat. Repeat. Finally I took the advice of a friend and got the squirt bottle out. But he wasn't a consistent offender, so I ended up sleeping with the bottle lodged under my arm. Sleepy ... getting sleepier. Bat-bat-bat-bat-bat. Fumble fumble - ah, found the water bottle. Squirt! Kitty runs away. Repeat several times. Except that once I missed and squirted myself (in a semi-sleep state). Good grief. Finally he got the message. On the odd side, he seems much more affectionate toward me today; whereas yesterday, it was like he disappeared. I do not gets cats. Or at least this one.

Kitty translation:
See, mom just does not understand me. I was trying to *play* and to keep her company, which she obviously wants me to do. I'm told I'm her protector, and that's one of my jobs (an acceptable duty). But can I help it if I'm nocturnal? Can I help it if that dangly thing by her window by her bed happens - for practical cat purposes - to appear to be a very well placed bedtime cat toy? Why else would it be there if not for me to bat at? *Hmph*

And don't get me started on the squirty. And another thing, I don't think she realized at first how smart this all shows me to be. The shades, you see, are down and are blocking access to the allimportant ledge and screen. Some how, if I just bat hard enough at either that dangly thing she uses or the slats, I should be able to get to the window. And then I can sit there and watch all kind of interesting and creepy crawling night things to my heart's content while she sleeps.

Now, I know she said something about that window looking directly into the neighbor's window in the morning. But now, that's part of what makes it so very interesting a view. Wouldn't you think?

Prisoner or King. You Decide.

Well, now, you see. I wasn't going to have a journal. I thought (and alot of thinking can be done while mentally hunting rabbits from a window sill) that even a king needs some outlet for self expression. Especially when you've recently downgraded kingdoms.

My current life is rather ho-hum. There are rabbits to chase, but they are Out There. In the Great Beyond. Beyond the window screen. I spend my day in my room visualizing the things I would like to do to these rabbits. If I could get Out There. And if I had claws. I visualize a lot, which then apparently makes me very sleepy. Because that's the next thing I do. I have a basket of toys ... but ... wait! Is that a new rabbit? I haven't seen that one before.

The new kingdom is alright. I've checked out much of the ground floor. There's apparently another level, but as soon as I make the great escape and start to move up the stair well, a great unseen force comes and pulls me back like that old TV show The Prisoner. Last weekend I really pulled one over on The Force. She left the backdoor unlatched, and I, in a feet of cat-like cunning and paw agility managed to bump it open and sneak out. Ahhh. The sound of crickets late at night. The smell of fresh grass. The coolness of pavement. The warm and engulfing feel of The Force, scooping me up before I could get my bearings and pulling me back. Plopped again, right back in the kitchen where I started.

I say, am I king or a prisoner? It is hard to tell sometimes.