August 21st 2006 12:58 pm
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The human has suggested that I am learning bad habits from Grendel. AS IF! I am merely showing more of my wonderful personality as I feel the ape merits it. This morning I showed him that I can do the Paw Under The Door trick even better than the cow cat. Plus, I have a beautiful tabby paw with white marbling--not a pasty white mit like Kitty Cow.
What prompted this deft display of my skill was the human locking us out of the room at 5:30 AM. The moo cat was up to his usual juvenile annoyances, and when he started to fool with the human's new plant (a sore point with the monkey, apparently), the biped got out of bed, hustled that big-headed boy kitty out of the room, and shut the door. Tragically, I was outside the room at the time and got caught in the general rout--though I was thoroughly innocent of any wrongdoing. After too long a wait for breakfast (7:00!!!!), I took the opportunity to beguile the human with my own paw tricks. Of course, when the human saw that it was my dainty, colorful paw under the door, he opened it wide and promptly fed us. Thanks, Grendel Cow Kitty for being the reason we nearly starved to death. Fortunately for you, I can move the ape to action where you fail.
Getting second breakfast this morning was also up to me. The two-legged sloth had gone back to bed after first breakfast was served, so I had to go up and snuggle a while with his lumpy recumbent self in order to persuade him that it was time to get up for good. After wetting himself in that absurd booth, he came forth with the kibble. Mmmm.
I am showing the human--and the cow cat--more of my adeptness at catching the feathery-headed snakey thing on a stick. The human tries working with the cow, but except for a few rare acrobatics, the moo cat is pretty useless. It's then that I can show my prowess and strike at the fiendish thing. Unlike the bovine-colored one, I don't have the long, drawn-out wind up that involves backing up three feet before striking--a sure way of telegraphing your moves. I lunge unexpectedly from any position. This ensures the element of surprise. After a good kill, I take the snakey thing back to my lair in Underthebed or into the depths of the red-colored, springy, wool-lined tunnel thingy (with bluish dangly puff-balls). I often have to tug at it a while because the human stupidly fails to let go of the stick part. Human buffonery is amusing but scarey. They can manage to feed us because we keep meowing the instructions to them as they prepare the meals; but how do they manage to feed themselves?
The cow has also been remiss in rowsing the human at 3:00 AM. For some reason, he has decided that this is not to be done any longer. I think it's because he's too lazy, myself. I had to do the job this morning. I think it rather surprised the biped to see my beautiful face nudging him awake rather than the cow cat's big, masked melon.
Postscript: The kiss
In regard to the human's uninvited, intrusive scribbling from last week, let me quote Bill the Cat: "Ack! Gag! Barf! Thbbbt!"
The cow is deplorable, but he has his uses, which is why I tolerate him as I do (he still has both eyes, doesn't he?). Monday afternoon when the ape interrupted us, the moo cat was merely helping me remove a bit of grit, perhaps kitty litter, from my eye. When he was finished I curtly dismissed him with a snarl. How the clueless biped can interpret this as "lovey dovey" (!) is beyond my understanding.
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