Tricky, seductive cow cat!

I may be physically ill.

The cow has taken to the ridiculous expedient of bringing a "gift" to the human of a yellow toy mouse. For two days in a row, the bichrome buffoon has taken this toy--a toy he never plays with himself--and drops if off in front of the hairless biped. Yesterday he did it while the human was in that awful booth with the spraying water (have peeples no spit to clean themselves with?). Today it was while the human was sitting in his den (formerly my prison). I mean, pull-ease, does the cow really think that the human will now value him as his "mouse killer" because he picks his least favorite toy off the floor and gives it to him? Tricky, seductive cow cat! I know how he plots against me.

My wonderful red-colored springy tunnel-like things (with the dangly bluish puff-balls) are being co-opted by the moo cat. I mean these were MY playspaces that came home with me from PAWS! Now he plays in them all the time. I am not selfish (not as cats go), but this must stop. I have attacked the cow when he's in my wonderful red-colored springy tunnel-like things (with the dangly bluish puff-balls) on more than one occasion. He does not learn. Must I go medieaval on his black and white self before he learns that the wonderful red-colored springy tunnel-like things (with dangly bluish puff-balls) are MINE!

It is especially insufferable to see the human and Kitty Cow playing with the feathery-headed snakey thing on a a stick around the wonderful red-colored springy tunnel-like thing (with bluish dangly puff-balls). I move in to chase out the cow and play with the human myself. How exciting! This could be such a wonderful life if only it were the human and I. Go play in the highway, cow cat!

I am now eating regularly alongside the cow. It disturbed me earlier when he would eat kibble from MY dish. Now I have turned the tables. This morning the human gave the bichrome boor his dish o' kibble. Just as he started eating, I nudged in and took it from him. You should have seen the confusion and despair on his hideously masked face. It's as if someone had taken away his food. Ha ha! I did! Now he has no choice but to eat from my dish because I have denied him his. Now I only need to find a way to eat from both dishes simultaneously and in that way starve him out.

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