March 7th 2014 1:10 pm
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Today, when I woke from my mid-morning nap and went downstairs to my basement playroom to check on dad, who was doing something with the computer down there, I found that instead of sitting nicely at the computer (which I allow him to do in my playroom), he was over by the sliding glass door, tapping on it and looking outside. I went over to see what was going on and saw that on the other side of the door was an enormous raccoon, about twice my size, obviously interested in invading my palace!
Dad was trying to chase it away, but it was obviously unimpressed. I raced over to stand next to dad and gave that nasty raccoon a good, hard, cold stare—and after looking back at me and seeing that the puny human was not defending his home all by himself, it ran off! Get lost, Mr. Raccoon! I am in charge here. I will defend this territory. I will protect the humans. *victory dance*
March 1st 2014 2:35 pm
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Dad found some of my old catnip mousies under the bed. I have catnip mousies in a variety of colors--pink, orange, green, and blue. Well some of the mousies had evidently been hidden there fur a long time, and some of their color had bled onto the rug. I wonder what could have caused that? There isn't any water. It seems very odd.
February 28th 2014 3:36 pm
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Two signs of spring at my house! (1) The red witch hazel near our front door is finally starting to bloom (it's about two weeks late). The flowers are tiny--each one is about the same size as one of my claws--but they're cute, like little red bows. (2) The tree rose which mom winters over in the garage isn't dead after all, as we thought--some new leaf buds are starting to open.
I'm so tired of winter--dad has had to spend so much time shoveling snow that it cuts into his time playing with me. That is not acceptable. Go away, nasty winter! Spring is coming!
February 27th 2014 12:38 pm
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Today they took me to the v-e-t! I was having a nice nap downstairs when I decided to go upstairs fur a snack, and found that the doors to several rooms (with especially effective hiding places) were closed. I knew something was up, but it was too late to hide—the faithless humans had tricked me! Meow! Dad picked me up and mom got out the carrier. He put me in and she zipped it over my head—I was trapped! Then it was off to the CAR! I had to leave MY PALACE and ride in the CAR!
I let them know how I felt about it, all right. The trip to the vet took about 15 minutes, and that’s about half the number of long, angry meows they had to listen to.
When I got to the vet I decided to adopt a nonviolent, passive resistance strategy—thank you, Gandhi! I went limp and forced them to pick me up and move me themselves if they wanted. Meanwhile, I used the usual feline technique to make myself as heavy as possible. The vet tech could hardly manage to carry me.
On the bright side, while the trip seemed interminable to me, the whole thing actually didn’t last long. Dr. Gavaletz said the diet formulation of my usual food seemed to be working, as I had actually lost about ¾ of a pound since my last visit. The growth on my face that he removed a year and a half ago has not grown back (on his own cat, a similar growth grew back twice in the same amount of time). My teeth are in good shape, and my luxurious fur is abundant and healthy (good information to have as we approach shedding season, MOL!).
On the way back I didn’t really need to meow, since I knew very well that I was being taken home, but I decided to anyway as a matter of principle and to make sure they wouldn’t think about making any stops along the way. It’s very important to be firm with humans!
As soon as I got home I ran around to make sure nothing had changed during my absence. Then it was time fur a long, healing nap. . . .
November 13th 2013 10:31 am
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After supervising their humans all day, many kitties probably assume that once the humans are in bed, it’s finally safe to leave them unattended and go on to more important business, like checking the windows to see if any strangers are prowling around the home territory or making sure that all the chairs and sofas get freshly decorated with cat fur. But, in fact, humans need care at night as well as during the daytime!
First of all, humans tend to wander—they don’t stay where you put them. Especially, at night, they tend to get up to make visits to the human litter box, during which trips they are extremely likely to bump into things and hurt themselves because, let’s face it, their vision is inferior to ours. I find that this problem can be solved by providing the meandering human with a kitty escort, making sure to herd him or her in the right direction, and, by getting in the way, also reminding the human of the need to be careful.
Second, humans are prone to nightmares of various sorts, and these cause them distress. An attentive kitty will intervene to end the nightmare and soothe the human involved. Fur example, my dad grew up in a country where there was a war going on. Even now, decades later, he occasionally dreams that he is being chased by enemy soldiers, and he starts muttering noisily to himself, thus disturbing the quiet of the home. But a few swipes from my tail across his silly head generally sweep these pesky soldiers away so peace is restored!
Nightmares are not the only bad things that flit through wayward human brains at night. There are bad thoughts, too. An example of a bad thought would be something like my mom thinking, as she drifts off to sleep, “Hmm, that kitty jumping up and down on my tummy is kind of heavy. Maybe the vet wasn’t wrong when he suggested a diet with fewer treats. . . .” Meow! A few tail swipes can get rid of that kind of nastiness, too.
So, despite the extra trouble, it’s not a good idea to leave your humans alone at night. An attentive kitty will be sure to keep careful watch over them!
October 20th 2013 8:30 am
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I wish dad would stop referring to me as his "sweet little warrior princess."
I am not a sweet little warrior princess. I am a tough, strong, fierce little warrior princess, and he'd better keep that in mind!
When I bring a catnip mousie or a long, snaky leaf from the dracena plant into the bedroom at night and wake him up, that's not a lullaby I am singing--it's a Victory Song. Hail to the mighty warrior, successful in battle! Hail to me!
August 10th 2013 8:41 pm
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It was a gigantic bird, bigger than me, and it was sitting on my front lawn surrounded by seven or eight smaller birds that looked like it! It had a huge tail that dragged on the grass! What could it be? I flipped my tail back and forth, filled with anxiety. What if that huge bird got into my palace?
Mom said I shouldn’t be scared—it was just a wild turkey, with turkey kittens, and it wouldn’t be coming inside. But I’m not so sure!
August 8th 2013 9:46 pm
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Today I had a very quiet day at home. After they came back from the beach, the humans stayed in the house because it got cloudy and then started to rain. Dad was in the basement painting a picture fur his friend’s new house because her old house was destroyed in Hurricane Sandy and it’s just now being rebuilt. Mom was upstairs practicing a concerto on her violin. I alternated naps in each location so I could provide proper supervision to both of them. Then late in the afternoon we all met in the kitchen fur snacks. What could be nicer?
August 7th 2013 12:41 pm
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Meow! There were a whole lot of robins flying around the deck outside our sliding glass door this morning. I noticed them right after I finished my Brunch Treat, and I had to crouch in front of the door and watch them. Mom and dad went out to the beach for a quick swim, as they do every day when the weather is nice, and when they came back they were surprised that I was still there watching the birds instead of having gone upstairs to take my usual midday nap. But how could I leave? What if one of those birds somehow found a way into my palace? *flips tail anxiously* No, an alert, property-owing kitty must always be on patrol to protect the home territory! No matter how sleepy I might get, I have to... have to. . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
August 2nd 2013 9:09 pm
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Meow, well, I just don't think it's fair, that's all!
Late every afternoon I get a Teatime Treat. Mom puts ten Temptation treats out fur me on a plate in the kitchen, on the floor near the refrigerator. I sit in the dining room and watch while she gets them ready, and if she's late, I remind her by moving pointedly to the doorway to the kitchen and sitting there to make sure she sees I am waiting.
Today, because of something she read on Catster, she did something different, though. Instead of just putting my well-deserved treats on the plate, she cut an empty cardboard paper towel roll in half and put the treats inside it, and then put the roll on the plate. I had to extract the treats one by one with my paw before I could eat them. It took me at least twice as long as usual.
Really, mom! I don't care what you read about "making things interesting" for kitties and "challenging kitties mentally." I just want my treats, that's all! And do you really think it's a "challenge" to get treats out of a paper towel roll? I'm not a kitten, you know, and I'm quite accustomed to using my paws. Please give up this ridiculous idea!
*flips tail in annoyance* Meow, if she does it again, maybe I'll show her how good I am at using my paws by taking a swipe or two at her leg. . . .
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