Critter News with Loki

Grock the Toad

So, there's this toad that lives by the ditch in front of our house. His name is Grock. He comes up to our porch sometimes when the bugs hang out by the light.

I'm pretty happy most of the time. There's always a silver lining somewhere. I mean, no matter how bad my day is going I can always sneak off and steal cotton swabs from the bathroom to play with, you know? The way I figure it, if your life is a constant series of disappointments it's because you want it to be that way. Maybe fur the attention, I dunno. I don't understand the purpose of the drama.

Anyhoo, I decided anytime I get up from a nap , it's morning. Morning means a fresh start to me. All my problems and the mildly annoying things that threw a furball into the mix before I napped are gone. I don't see why I have to be limited to some dictionary definition of morning if I define "morning" as any time I get a chance to start over. So I say "Good Morning!" day and night in the cheerfullest way possible. It's my thing.

Back to Grock. Grock comes up on the deck as usual, looking fur breakfast, so I said, "Good Morning!"

And he stares at me and says, "It's night," totally humorless.

So I say,"But you're nocturnal. Didn't you just get out of bed?"

"Yeah."

"So then it's morning. Good morning!"

He stares at me, blinks, rolls his eyes, and says, "It's night."

And that's when I ate him.

Just kidding. He's done this before. I can see deep down there's a purrsonality in there somewhere. Sometimes other critters are in a bad mood because it's just a bad day. I've found a pebble in my kibble more than a few times, myself. Why dwell on it? But the thing is, I dunno, how should I put this? Ah! Got it!

Happiness is a can of chickawn and gravy. If you keep spitting in someone else's chickawn and gravy, eventually they won't offer to share it with you.

I think I'm done sharing my chickawn and gravy with Grock. I'll still say hi, but until he figures out the world isn't the problem, he is, there doesn't seem to be anything I can do for him. He's a very bitter toad.

If I didn't know better, I'd think he ate fire ants for breakfast every morning.