November 17th 2008 9:32 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
Long time, no meow. I've been busy at the Bridge watching over Mom and welcoming new angels as they arrive, and Mom has been busy with schoolwork and taking care of my kitty siblings. You know what? Sir Thomas had to have his leg cut off the day before Halloween! It's true! He's now a tripod. His stitches came out last Friday, and the lampshade collar was removed Sunday. Now that he doesn't have to wear the Elizabethan collar anymore, he's one happy three-legger! His wound is healing nicely, and he's going back to live with Grandmaw and Grandpaw over Thanksgiving break.
Mom entered a few pictures of me and my siblings into the World's Coolest contest this year. Two years ago, Sindri made it to the finals. This year, I did! Only two pictures of me were entered, so I'm pretty surprised I made it! Plus, there aren't many black cats who made it to the finals so I'm really proud of Mom for taking a decent picture of me, even if I was extremely angry at the time.
If you like my picture, would you please cast a vote for me? Here is the link:
Vote Lucky Boo, Loved & Missed for Best in Show!
July 3rd 2008 11:22 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
It's really bothering me that I can't get into Lucky's urn. I was beginning to doubt that there was even anything in there.
Tonight, I couldn't take it anymore, so I tried to pry it open. It didn't budge. So I tried to unseal it by taking a knife along the edges where the top/what I thought was a lid is. Nada. I cut into it a little and some black specks fell out. I guess those were ashes. There is no way to open it. I tried opening it from the base but it looks like it's impossible to get into without spilling the contents. How ridiculous. I wish I'd been told the standard urn was one that cannot be opened. I wish I had been given the chance to choose one. I didn't know.
I'm going to call the place that did the cremation sometime to ask how I'm supposed to open it. There has to be a way to get into it and leave the contents undisturbed. On the FAQ of their website it says that the cremains will be in a bag inside the urn. I guess it's possible that there was a bag and I cut it, but I doubt it. I'm not too happy at this point.
I guess part of the reason I'm so upset about this is that I still miss him so much. Having access to his ashes won't change anything; he'll still be gone.
On to happier news... Isa is doing great. She is so precious. She's growing so fast! I adore her. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's so much a part of the family already. My friend Leti's parents came over to meet her today; they instantly fell in love too. Her mom held Isa and she fell asleep in her arms. It was so sweet.
I'm going to Savannah tomorrow for the 4th and I'll be staying the night. I'm looking forward to it very much. I need to get away from Statesboro for a little while. I'll be seeing a great fireworks display from River Street. It should be beautiful. And maybe, just maybe, before the fireworks I'll get to see another amazingly, unbelievably beautiful Lucky Boo sunset.
June 30th 2008 10:16 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
Lucky Boo's diary was one of today's daily picks, and I would like to thank Catster for choosing it. I'd also like to thank everyone who sent congratulations to Lucky Boo. I read each and every one and am so thankful that there are so many people out there willing to take the time to write to me even though I know I'm not the world's best when it comes to responding.
Today was an OK day. Isadora is fitting in very well in her new family. It amazes me how closely she has bonded with Rafa! They are playing at this very moment, as they have been all day. They truly have a special friendship.
I just wish Lucky Boo were here. I'm so glad I opted to cremate him and have his ashes saved and returned to me. It does bring me comfort to have his ashes here. I am getting to the point that I can sometimes think of him and smile. I do have some quite humorous memories of him; I may share some of them in future diary entries.
June 29th 2008 12:46 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
Yesterday was a bittersweet day. I took my new kitten, Isadora (Isa for short, or Isa Boo, which is her nickname) to the vet for her first ever checkup and vaccinations. I got her Thursday night after much thought and soul searching.
The great news is that Isa is healthy. I was worried that she may test positive for FIV or FeLV because I don't think her mama cat has ever been to the vet, and I know she hadn't. Plus, she lived outside until I took her home. But my worries were unfounded; she is perfectly fine. She had fleas but that was her only problem, and now she's on Revolution, so those are gone. I was surprised to see that our vet yesterday was Dr. Gary. It had been months since I'd seen him since we'd been seeing Dr. Walker during the last few months of Lucky's illness. Not that it matters which one... I adore both of them. Dr. Gary was Lucky's vet for a long time, but towards the end of his life, we got to get to know Dr. Walker, and she is the one who helped end his suffering.
Anyway, it was nice to see Dr. Gary; it had been a long time. Cindy, Lucky's vet tech (and now Isa's too) was working too, and we talked some about Lucky and how hard it is to go through euthanising a pet. Cindy also told me that Isa is a Hemingway cat; I had not heard that term or the history behind it. I know very little about polydactyl kitties. I had been thinking of switching vets because Best Friends Animal Hospital is so much closer to home for me (it's a new hospital run by the same vets), but I like the people who work at Gateway so much that it's worth driving the extra miles.
After Isa's checkup, when I was paying, I asked the receptionist if Lucky's ashes had come back. To my surprise, they had. So I was able to take him home. They are in a little wooden box; I put a picture of it on his page. I can't figure out how to open it. Having them back has made the idea that he is gone forever more concrete, so I've been feeling pretty sad.
This morning, I felt like Lucky was here. I woke up and thought he was on the bed. I knew he wasn't, but I didn't open my eyes because I didn't want to see that he wasn't there. I can't explain the sensation. It was very strange. It was almost like I could feel his presence.
Thanks again for all your kindness. I've been trying to get out a few thank-yous but it's very hard, still.
June 22nd 2008 1:51 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
Well, here I am at the Bridge. It's the greatest place. It's so amazing that you could never even imagine how wonderful it is. The best thing about it? My friends are here! The last thing I knew, I was at the vet. Then I opened my eyes with nothing but the vague memory of creating a heart-shaped cloud and saw my old friend Maximo staring down at me! I knew then where he had gone when he left me in late 2005, and I knew that it had happened to me too and I was now at the Rainbow Bridge. I suddenly remembered how sick I had been feeling. I remembered that just a few minutes before I'd been at the vet, and Mom, Leti, Leti's Mom, Dr. Walker, and Cindy (my favorite vet tech) had been with me, surrounding me with love. My legs hadn't been working. So I looked down at my paws and took a few tentative steps: no pain! Even though I missed Mom, I was glad I'd been able to leave that old worn-out body behind as soon as I realized that I no longer felt sick! And there were so many kitties there to welcome me. Among them were Buddie, Angel, Mookie, McKenna, Ricki, Simba (accompanied by Shadow Mommy of course), Isaac, my old friend Scrump who also had FIP, Aragorn, and so many other kitties. I'd never seen so many kitties all in the same place before, and no one was even fighting! That was never the case back home.
Tomorrow is Monday, one whole week since I left my home and family on earth. I've learned how to see Mom through the clouds and while I'm watching over her, I also figured out I can make the most beautiful light shows for her in the sky! She's seen several beautiful sunsets this week thanks to me.
Today, however, it is raining. And I'm not with Mom right now to make the rain go away and the sun come out. I'm too busy preparing for the arrival of my dear pal Henry. You see, he's coming here tomorrow. He's been with his Mom even longer than I was with mine: 19 years. I know his Mom is going to be very sad when he leaves, but Henry is sick. He too can't really use his back legs anymore. And he is tired. So it is time for him to come here where he can be young and healthy again.
Please join me in purring for his Mommy. I know she is very sad and will be sad for a while, just like mine.
Here is Henry's page:
Lastly, I want to send my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has been taking care of Mommy while she has been so sad. Thank each and every single one of you who sent rosettes, stars, flowers, angel wings, pmails, treats, group messages, and forums posts. Thank you to everyone who shared a story of how loss has affected your life. And thank you to everyone who set my picture as their main profile picture (and special thanks to Hazel Lucy for making a picture of me--she even used Mom's favorite picture of me--the Boo Tongue picture). Thank you to everyone who wrote diary entries about me as well. Your kindness has helped Mom get through a very difficult time, one of the most difficult times in her life.
Angel Lucky Boo
June 20th 2008 8:42 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
As many of you may already know, Lucky had become incontinent over the last few months of his life. I used to have to clean up kitty pee and kitty poop all the time, several times a day. There was always a pile of poop that I needed to wipe up.
Now that he's gone, I realized how much I miss cleaning up after him. And to think, I used to hate having to do that so much. I always did it without getting mad at him, of course, because he couldn't help it, but it was a nasty job. Now I'd give anything to have it back.
I got a card in the mail from my mom today, a sympathy card. I'd like to say thanks for that. I am hoping to be able to get a locket to put Lucky's fur and maybe some of his ashes in. Thinking about things like that help me get through the tough times.
Tomorrow will be better because I won't be here. I'm going to be babysitting the kids who made Lucky's poster all day. Today, I was with them too because the older one had a birthday party. When I got there and was walking to the pool with both of them, Luke (the younger one) said to me, "I'm sorry that Lucky Boo died." Luke is the little animal lover, and he's said that to me more times than I can count. We also had a long conversation with his mom about why Lucky died and how he's not sick anymore and about what will happen to his body. The boys want to see his ashes when I get them back; they're curious. And I don't have a problem with that. I think that discussion helped me as much as it did him.
I am slightly nervous because the first term of summer classes ended yesterday and grades are being released in the morning. I only took one class. But it was a tough one. And I had a big essay due Thursday but I was not able to concentrate on it at all because of Lucky passing away earlier in the week. Hopefully the paper made some sense though.
Maybe one of these days I will be able to give Lucky his voice back, but for now it just seems wrong. I do anticipate that he will be describing his adventures at the bridge at some point in the future.
June 19th 2008 8:53 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
Well, as much as I didn't expect it, today was better than yesterday. It didn't start out so great... I didn't drag myself out of bed until after 2:00 (I woke up much earlier but just couldn't face the emptiness of the house). I did my essay for my final exam for my Picaresque Literature class... hopefully it made sense. I don't know though because I haven't been able to concentrate on anything. And yesterday in class, I had to excuse myself for a few minutes because I started crying. So at least my professor knew already how upset I was.
The later it got, the better I started to feel. I don't feel good by any means, but I've been able to think of things other than Lucky Boo. I went to dinner with my professor who is moving to Colorado next month. She was my professor in Fall of 2007 for Environmental Geology... the class I made my highest grade ever in (a 109 or something like that). I'm going to miss her but I think she will be much happier in Colorado. It was good to get out of the house for a while. After that, I went to several stores shopping for a birthday present for Leti's son (one of the kids who made the poster for Lucky Boo--his party is tomorrow; he's going to be 8). I also bought myself a new bathing suit.
So, while I am far from OK, I can see that with time, I will be. I saw the most beautiful sunset on my way home from the store and couldn't help but think of Lucky Boo.
I am hoping to be able to start responding to Pmails and Rosettes and things soon... hopefully tomorrow or maybe later tonight. It may take a while though; there are so many (and I am so far beyond thankful for each and every single one of them-they have helped me get through these dark times). Today, I realized that I am not alone in my grief because just about everyone here has gone through a similar experience. And knowing that you all survived and began to feel happiness again has given me great comfort. I don't know why it just occurred to me today that I'm not the only one who has felt this way. I mean, I knew that everyone here has lost, but I didn't realize that it's been just as devastating for not only myself but everyone else when we've had to say goodbye.
Thank you all so very much,
June 17th 2008 3:23 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
That's all I have left of my sweet little Boo kitty. I have thousands of photos; I'm so glad I was always taking pictures of him. After the euthasia yesterday, the vet trimmed some fur from around his mouth and put it in a little plastic baggy for me. So I have that too. I can't believe that's all that I have left of my cat.
That something else? Memories, of course. And right now, all they bring is sadness.
It still doesn't seem real to me. He died around 5:30 yesterday afternoon, so it's been just a little over 24 hours. I haven't been home since yesterday evening, and I was not there long. Even though I know he's gone, I feel like when I go home he will be there. But I know he won't be. Some irrational hopeful part of me thinks that none of it was real, none of it actually happened.
He was very sick, though. It was for the best. It was the most difficult, heartbreaking decision I have ever made, but I knew in my heart before I took him that he would not be coming back home. He could not walk or control his bowel movements. And he would not urinate. He was holding it as long as he possibly could before going, indicating he was in a lot of pain. So even though I am extremely sad and miss him so much, I do not regret my decision to end his life because it was what he needed. I was so afraid that I would feel guilty about euthanasia, but so afar, I haven't really felt that way. I have to admit that a part of me wishes I hadn't done it, but that is pure selfishness. I didn't want him to go because I would be alone. He fought so long and hard for me, and because he wanted so badly not to leave me, I had to help him go.
On the way home from the vet last night, I noticed the sun shining brightly behind a cloud. Rays of sunlight were shooting from the edges of the cloud into the sky. I thought to myself that it may be a message from Boo. Then, when I got to my friend's house, she showed me two beautiful pictures she took of the sky on her way home. She'd seen the same thing and stopped to capture it for me. The cloud in one of the pictures is shaped like a heart. So I want to thank her for doing that for me. She also took pictures of me holding Boo after he was sedated. When he became comfortable and drifted off to a sleep-like state, I was able to pick him up and sit in a chair and hold him for a while. And that's when she took the pictures. I haven't been able to look at them yet but I'm so glad I will have them when I am ready.
Lucky was giving me Boo kisses even at the vet. I think that was his way of telling me goodbye. Even when he was very uncomfortable after his examination and was growling and hissing, he nudged my hand with his head.
I wouldn't have been able to do it without my friend there with me. I am forever grateful to her for witnessing that for me. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful friend.
And I am also lucky to have received so much support from the wonderful, wonderful, wonderful people from Catster. I have received countless group mails, rosettes, stars, and special gifts. I have read each pmail and gift message but haven't been able to view the group messages yet or even start on replying to the messages because honestly, I just can't bring myself to do it. It doesn't seem real and my brain isn't working very well. I just keep wishing and hoping that I am dreaming. But when I am able, I will start responding.
June 15th 2008 11:00 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
My grumpy attitude has gone away. But so has my decent health. Over the past week or so, I've become very weak. Tonight, it's at its worst: I can barely walk. Sometimes I make my back feet move and manage to stagger along; but sometimes I just drag my back end along with my front paws. Mommy may have to take me to the vet soon, possibly tomorrow if I am not any better. For some reason, my back end just won't cooperate with anything I tell it to do. I just tried to jump on my cat tree and my back end wouldn't do anything. I almost fell but Mom caught me. The same thing happened a few minutes ago when I tried to jump onto the coffee table. Mom just wishes I'd be still but I want to wander.
Through it all, though, I've managed to be a happy Boo. When I sit still and Mom puts her face close to mine and I give her Boo Kisses. Lots of them.
May 30th 2008 2:08 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
Mommy just uploaded a video to Rafa's Dogster page. I hope you will all check it out! I am in it (barely). Mom has let me nap on the couch all day, and you can see part of me. Sindri's in it too, in his cat tree. Mom has been working really hard to teach Rafa how to roll over, and he finally got it... kind of. It's a cute video, I hope you'll watch it. Rafa tries to be a mindreader and sometimes does his tricks without being told to; other times he gets confused and does the wrong thing, MOL! I'm not so sure why Mommy keeps telling people he is so smart.
I had a good day yesterday and am still doing all right today. Last night I even batted the cat dancer around for a few minutes. It was fun but it really wore me out. Now I don't have much energy today. But I'm hoping to feel a little more energetic tomorrow!
Sort By Oldest First
(What does RSS do?)