July 11th 2013 3:00 am
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This is Darby's forever Mom. It's been 2 1/2 months since my sweet girl passed over the Rainbow Bridge. I wanted to let her friends know what happened. But, I just couldn't sit down to write a full entry. So, I just noted her Rainbow Bridge Day.
Even now, the tears are sliding down my cheeks as I try to write this for you.
My sweet girl was my one of my two best friends. She was my love and my life. She was my constant companion and gave me all of her love. She was a big girl and that's just who she was. She was the alpha cat in the family and an expert at the art of being passive aggressive. I love her so very much.
A couple days before Darby passed over, she really began to slow down. To my human eye, nothing terribly wrong but I was watching very closely. I called my vet and left word for her. It was the weekend and I did not recognize any sign of an emergency. All functions were functioning, but just slower.
Come Monday morning, that was the game changer. Darby wouldn't get off the bed to come eat her breakfast. Food was her first love. I lifted her down and she did not eat. She went to the litter pan, came out and sat down. She wanted no part of moving anywhere.
I lifted her up on the bed and watched her very closely. She was struggling to breathe. I could see her little nose working so hard. That's when I became alarmed. By the time I got dressed and got her ready to go to the emergency vet clinic she began mouth breathing. I knew we were in trouble.
At the clinic she was placed in to an oxygen pen and that helped her to stop mouth breathing. An image was done of her lungs and abdomen. The news was not good. She had pleural effusion and could not get any oxygen. It was severe and the prognosis was not good. I was told they could drain the fluid and that might help but it would come back. The underlying cause of all of this, per my regular vet, can be a hidden cancer.
I told the vet I did not want to put my baby through the pain of draining. She was almost 13 years old and has always been safe and secure in my house and was seen by a mobile vet. At this clinic, she was terrified. I could see it in her eyes. I agreed to let my baby go in peace. Oh my God my heart was being ripped in to so many pieces, but I knew I had to release her from her pain.
The Vet brought my girl in to me and by the time they took her from the oxygen pen to me she was almost gone. My baby was wide mouth breathing and the Doc was telling me that they were losing her. I don't know if she passed on her own or if I was able to shorten the horror and pain she was feeling.
All I know is I will never, ever forget the look on my baby's face as she was dying. I can't even begin to describe it. All I know, at that moment, I felt as if I had let my baby down. All these years she trusted me to care for her and I did not recognize the signs of her illness until it was too late.
The look on her face will haunt me until I die. I love her so very much and I pray that she still loves me and understands my human limitations. I love her and I miss her every day. But, that image of her sweet face haunts me.
Her sister is in kidney failure and it's a day to day thing with her. Thank God I know what's wrong with her and can treat her as needed.
It's so hard when you don't know and your baby can't tell you. My heart cries for my Darby every single day. I miss her, love her and there will never be another kitty that can fill her big shoes.
Darby; you are my life, my light, my love, my hope and my joy. May you be at peace with the others that have passed before you. May you forgive me and reunite with me when it is time.
I love you, baby girl.
July 21st 2007 12:21 pm
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Yay, Mommy got us our Premium Membership again. I'm so happy!!!!!
Mommy's just started making videos and uploading them. MOL , she tried to get me to be really cute and talk but I didn't do it! But, my Mommy sure talked and she sounds so funny MOL
Do you like my video?
Darbs, "Her Bigness"
January 18th 2007 4:40 am
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Hi everyone. I know it's been a long time. Lots of stuff going on and Mommy's working hard to make sure we get done what we need to get done. I can't give any details 'cause it's a secret. Ooops, I might have said to much.
Anyway, Mommy's putting me on a diet. I'm really big and all I do is lay around and sleep. Playing is hard for me so I just swat at things as they pass by. Mommy wants to make sure I stay healthy and she's afraid I'll get diabetes if I don't get my weight down. I think I weight 20 pounds but Mommy will weigh me the day before I start my diet.
Mommy is going to start giving me 1/2 can of Wellness Chicken Canned Food in the morning and 1/2 can at night. She's also going to add some Missing Link to my new food. It's supposed to be good. She's been talking to Nemo's staff and Zipper's Mom so she's got good info.
I'm nervous about the diet because I only eat dry food and my Mommy puts it down for me and I can eat it whenever I want. On the diet, my food won't stay down all the time. ::SIGH:: I know I need to lose weight but I'm not so sure I'm gonna like this.
Zipper is my weight loss buddy so we'll help each other through the tough spots.
Darby "Her Bigness"
See all diary entries for Darby (09/2000 - 04/29/2013)|