Diary of an Attack Kitty

I’ve been traumatized!

September 17th 2007 5:15 pm
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Mom and Dad went to a family reunion with past weekend. Instead of taking us with them, (except for Friend Lea, she gets to do everything!) they put us in jail for the weekend! Can you believe that? Then today when Dad went to pick us up, the boy there told lies about me.. He told Dad that is was real mean. He said that I would meow in my jail cell and they would come to check on me then I would go wild and try and attack them….. Its lies.. all lies I tell you.. And our Old Vet’s people told the exact same lie on me too when I had to stay at their jail one time! I think they are all in cahoots against me..

I’ve been totally traumatized by this whole weekend. I’ve been so traumatized that when Mom came home from work, I let her hug and kiss me for a long-long time and I didn't even bite her.. I even met her at the door and jumped up on it like a dawg! THAT’S how traumatized I am!!!

I think I should get Double treats for the rest of my life!!!!!

 

A Delicious Cake Recipe.. MOL

October 14th 2006 6:44 pm
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Hi every kitty. I have found a delicious recipe that I'm sure all your Moms will want to make. It is an honest to goodness edible cake for your humans. My Mom is going to take it to a halloween party that she and dad are going to. I added the picture of it so you can see the finished product. Heres how it goes..

Kitty Litter Cake

CAKE INGREDIENTS:
1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent
(Wait. What is the equivalent of a Tootsie Roll?)


SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"
1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper

1) Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.

2) When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

3) Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls (or their equivalent?) and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.

4) Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper.

Looks delicious.. don't it?? MOL Enjoy!

 

What I've Learned

July 17th 2006 1:49 pm
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Stoves are HOT! Mom told me not to jump on the stove but I didn't listen. So, while her back was turned.. I jumped up there.. She was right! It was HOT! Luckily, I high-tailed it back off there in about a second so I didn't get burned. I'll think twice about jumping up on the stove again I can tell you that!

Grace

PS: I attacked my scratchin' post and now its broke.. **Sigh**

 

Dumb Ol' Dawgs

June 20th 2006 1:43 pm
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Dogs are so stupid.. MOL I can always get them in trouble.

Heres what ya do.. First you hide behind something and when they walk by, jump out and attack them.. Then they'll chase you and you can run under something like the couch, and they will just run head first into it. MMTO.. Its soooo funny. Or you can play with them and scratch their noses or bite their tail and when they try to play back, Meow real loud like they are killing ya and Mommy or Daddy will come and scold them.. Whew! Its so funny!!! Then after Mommy and Daddy turn their head, pounce on them again.. MOL

I got Mommy too.. You know how my Daddy LOVES me more than anything.. well, Mommy was in the kitchen and I wanted a bottle (cause she won't let me have one any more..she says I'm to big), so I started Meowing REAL LOUD like I was hurt or something, and Daddy hollerd in there at her and said.. "What are you doing to that kitten?".. Well, I got my bottle after that.. MOL Ya just gotta know how to take advantage of these Dawgs and Mommys and Daddys. Aren't I smart????

Grace

 

All I have to say is...

June 7th 2006 12:35 pm
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My Daddy LOVES me! I can do no wrong in his eyes.. I can get into anything and my Daddy just laughs.. I can chew on his toes and fingers and he thinks its cute.. I can swipe Mommy as she walk by and Daddy laughs and laughs.. I can do flip flops, side wind, jump, get into stuff.. and my Daddy still LOVES me.. My Daddy is the bestest Daddy ever!!!! I LOVE my Daddy...

 

Don't worry, I'll save you Mom!

May 11th 2006 1:22 pm
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Yesterday there was this big long stick with string things hang off of one end of it and I just know it was trying to hurt my Mommy! Everywhere she would walk it followed her. She was trying to push it away but it just kept following. She even tried to drown it in a bucket of water. Then she tried to choke it and foamy stuff would come out but then after that, its strings would just come back to life! I tried to help Mommy and attack it but it was big... really big! Finally, she was able to choke it till its strings was all wrapped around. Mom called it a Mop. I'm gonna eat an extra lot of big girl baby food so I can kill that mean ol' Mop. I hate that thing!

 

Guess what I ate?!?!?!

May 1st 2006 7:38 am
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Big girl baby kitty food! And I didn't even like it yesterday but today it tastes pretty good.

Mommy was cleaning and I was running around playing and when Mommy went to look for me she couldn't find me so she yelled "Grace" and I came running to her. I am such a good girl. So Mommy got me a kitty treat and I ate it. Then Mommy thought that since I ate that kitty treat, maybe I'd eat baby kitty food and she got me some and I tried it and it was pretty good. I ate a few bites and even drank water! I still wanted my bottle so Mommy let me have it too. She said that I could have my bottle as long as I wanted it so I think I'll have solid baby kitty food AND my bottle. What a lucky girl I am!

 

Guess where I pee'd???

April 24th 2006 11:49 am
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Dear Diary,

Mommy bought me a kitty box and I pee'd in it the first time she sat me in there. AND, Mommy and Daddy got me this pole thingie with a spring with feathers on the top. It looks like fun. I can't reach the feathers yet but I'm sure it'll be fun when I can.

Mommy wants me to eat this yucky baby kitty food and I just DO NOT LIKE IT! I am not gonna eat it! How can she expect me to eat something that won't fit in my bottle? She says if I'm gonna be a big girl then I need to eat it but I've decided.. I'm not gonna be a big girl! I'll just stay little. I just want my bottle with warm baby kitty milk.. and thats that! I WILL NOT EAT STINKY BIG BABY KITTY FOOD!!! I will not, I will not, I will not!! I just refuse!

Love,
Grace

 

Coming Home

April 18th 2006 4:45 pm
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I have a home and a Mommy and a Daddy and brothers! I went from being not wanted and being tossed out on the side of the road along with my sisters, to having a furever home. What a lucky girl I am!

 
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Grace


 

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