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The exciting adventures of Pinot Grigio

What's up with water?

So,

As luck would have it I was looking in the goldfish pond a little too closely last week and I fell in. As anyone who has ever held me over any amount of water knows, I am an absolute nightmare when A) I am wet, or B) I am ABOUT to get wet.

As I was slipping and sliding along the rock features as I tried to get out of the pond, I started wondering "what's up with water?' My little cat brain has always thought of water as something of a paradox. I'm more than happy to drink water wherever I see it -- a bowl (toilets included), a shower, or a pond. However, I'm absolutely appauled when it touches my fur...unless of course, I'm licking myself. In fact, I'm even cool with water if it comes from some other kitty's tounge, but if it comes from a hoze or a water gun pointed at my rear, I run in fear. So what gives? Any other kitties out there experiencing this issue? How do you deal with accidentally stepping in your water bowl? I personally usually run away and then lick my paw, but that hardly makes any sense. If I were smart, I'd just rub my paw on a paper towl...except, no don't get me started on paper towels!

Pinot D. Cat

King of the (cat) Jungle (gym)

Dear Diary,

So my grandparents (Mo's parents) recently got me and Momo an enormous cat jungle gym. A little background on this gift: I had asked for this for Christmas in 2007, and went I initially sat (and later peed) on Santa's lap he said I would receive it if I was good for 48 hours!

That would be so easy I thought, 48 hours, 2 days. I could do that in my sleep. In fact, that was my plan. For the next few days I did my best to sleep as much as possible, knowing very well that I am a perfect angel when asleep. After about 3 days of sleeping 20+ hours a day, I awoke...a little bit groggy.

I had slept through Christmas and the day was 12/26! I looked for Mojo but couldn't find him...I assumed he was outside playing with my present. Well, he was outside, but my present wasn't! He was just on a chair, sunning himself.

I looked for my parents and they gave me a greenie and said "Merry Christmas". I held out my paw, demanding that my enormous cat jungle gym immediately be handed over, but my dad just grabbed my hand and shook it. Clearly they didn't know that I meant business. I peed under the tree and on the couch. Take that!

For the next 18 months I tried in vain to communicate that I was owed an enormous cat jungle gym; I tried everything I could think of -- I peed on the chair; I peed on the bed; I peed in the tub; I even peed in the kitty litter. None of it worked.

Then one day I was explaining this all to my cousin Mai Tai, who is much smarter than my brother Mujumbo. She said that maybe Santa meant "48 waking hours". That made sense; that Santa is one sneaky Santa.

So a few days ago I completed my sentence of 48 consecutive good waking cat hours and was rewarded with this skyscraper of a cat house. it was totally awesome. I immediately claimed the penthouse as my own and told Mr. Mojito that he could be my doorman. So I've been living it up in my kitty condo for a few days now and life is good. I think I'm gonna fire Mo though b/c he sleeps on the job all the time, and most of the time, he's nowhere near the door he's supposed to be opening for residents.

love,

Pinot, King of the (cat) Jungle (gym)

Kitty Tracker

So,

This morning I was just lounging about, waking my morning cat nap when I was suddenly grabbed, stuffed in my cat carrier and rushes to the vet. I immediately knew I was going to the vet because that's the only place I ever go. I used to get lured into my cat carrier with a handful of greenies, but now, they just sneak up on me and toss me in. I don't like being catnapped!

So I go to the vet, and I am assuming I'm here for my routine physical, you know...poop in a bag, sit on a scale, get my butt's temperature taken. But today they took me in a special room with two people wearing masks! They told me that my secret cat identity would no longer be a secret and that they were putting something called a "kitty tracker" inside of me. I was like, "meow do you mean, inside of moi..eow?" Then they gave me some medicine that put me into cute little kitty sleep and I woke up with a little bandage on me.

I asked my mom what happened and she said I was implanted with a little chip that tells me where I live. I was like "Um, I live on Wahoo drive in one of 12 yellow houses on the street. If I get lost, I'll just keep scratching on doors till someone lets me in."

Apparently my mom only heard "meow", because she gave me a little pet and asked if I wanted a greenie. I'd have preferred a little explanation of what happened, but greenies make everything better.

love, Pinot