Cocoa!

What a wonderful thing that Catster has done to honor me! They've added a new rosette of a cup of cocoa! And it's just like me... dark and sweet! Thanks HQ, for the great gift!

Excatibur!!!!

Yesterday, as I was engaging the newly squired kittens in training to become Knights of the Round Milk Bowl, we encountered a battle scarred cat knight who told us of his recent defeat by the legendary Black Squirrel.

I peered through the misty fog, searching for the Black Squirrel. Legend has it that he is able to fling flaming pine cones with deadly accuracy from a distance of over 40 feet. It became increasingly obvious that this was no myth, as I watched Sir ChickenBob fall from a direct hit from one of these deadly projectiles. My resolve strengthened, as I imagined my beloved Catelot falling to ruins from this horrid beast. I decided that I would expend all nine of my lives (or do I only have 8 left? I forget...) in order to protect my homeland.

As I turned to tell those who remained standing to protect the fallen Sir ChickenBob, I noticed that no one was there! I then realized that it had grown quiet. I looked towards the Black Squirrel and saw no sign of him. Instead, a deep blue lake lay before me. Ripples appeared on the surface, and a hand rose from its depths, clutching the sword of Kings, Excatibur!!! I stood in awe as the sword was flung toward me. In one swift move, I reached out and gripped the sword, feeling its power course through my very being! The Kitty of the Lake has chosen me, Lucifer, to wield this mighty weapon in defense of Catelot!

I stared at Excatibur, and when I looked up, the lake was gone, but the battle still raged. I gripped the sword tighter than ever and charged the beast. It flung its flaming cones at me, but none hit me, as Excatibur disposed of them in one smooth swing. As I approached the beast, I raised Excatibur above my head, and looking heavenwards, I declared, "By the Power of Excatibur, give me strength!!" I then ran towards the beast, and swinging Excatibur, removed his head from his body in one swift swing.

I then returned to Catelot, dragging his lifeless body to the gates, to show the people that the beast was slain, and that peace once again, ruled the land.....

Potential Recruits....

I've been watching B.L.'s kittens ever since they were born, and I have decided that they could be potential recruits for my campaign against the aliens. While their fighting skills are imperfect, they seem capable of learning the art of paw to paw combat. This will prove invaluable during the onslaught of alien drones. That is, if they can master these skills without running to B.L. every time one of them gets his tail bitten too hard. *sigh*

In order for them to be able to strike fear into the hearts of the murderous aliens, they will need names that are just a tad more fearsome than the ones B.L. has given them. In place of the name "DearHeart" that she has called the solid black one, I shall call him "ShadowKnight". The twins, she calls "SweetBaby" and "SugarPaws". I shall rename them "Thorax The Impaler" and "NightWind The BloodThirsty"! As for "ChickenBob", well, it seems my mistress' son Casey has forever branded that one.

We Have Strange New Visitors.....

I saw a very odd thing today. My sister, B.L., was in a basket in the laundry room today, with these weird looking creatures around her. They were very small, wiggly, and made squeaky noises. I asked her what they were, and why she was licking on them, but she was too busy with them to answer. So, I leaned my head over into the basket for a closer look. They smelled normal, kinda like B.L., and they resembled rats. Noisy rats. Hmmmm...... Well, I don't think they're aliens, so we're safe for now..... Back to my patrol around the house now!

Reconnaissance....

Today, my mistress and I decided to do some reconnaissance work in the yard. She called it "Yard Work", but I know she was speaking in code, so that the aliens (or the dogs down the street) wouldn't overhear us, and be onto our plans.

She used this thing with long teeth looking things on it, attached to a long stick, and dragged leaves out from under the bushes surrounding the yard. My job was to sort through the leaves for any clues as to the next step the aliens have planned for the overthrow of the earth. I didn't find much, other than some bugs, sticks, those sorts of things. My mistress, on the other hand, was much more successful. She found several colonies of creatures that seemed to be quite aggressive. Their aggressiveness was apparant due to her jumping around and brushing them off her legs while swearing. I think she called them "Fire Ants". I shall try to convince them to join my battle against the aliens. With a name like that, perhaps they are able to shoot out fire somehow.....

During our mission, I took time to climb up several of the trees to look farther out across the neighbourhood. I saw no evidence of the aliens presence, but I did spot the dogs down the street, rolling in their yard. Probably getting some more of that nasty stuff on their fur. Last time they did that, they had to get a bath. Hmmmm....now that I think about it....if the dogs are in with the aliens, it's quite possible that my job just became easier. Those dogs are pretty stupid. It is very likely that those fool dogs will give erroneous information to the aliens, thus helping us to eliminate them! Perhaps I should just lay low for the time being, give those dogs enough rope to hang themselves, and the aliens......

The Word Is Being Spread.....

It seems Catster.com has read of my encounters with the aliens and has decided to help me sound the alarm by choosing my diary as the Diary of The Day! Thank you, Catster, for joining the fight! Your loyalty to the cats of the world will not go unrewarded! I shall speak to my mistress tonight, and have her bring you a bowl of tuna. (Around here, that's top stuff!!)

On a more somber note, my mother, Cracker, gave birth to four kittens, and none survived. My mistress and her son buried them under the fig bush in the backyard, where all the cats in the family like to rest. They've all crossed over the Rainbow Bridge!!! Until we meet again, my little brothers and sisters! We love you and miss you!! >^..^< sad purrrr....

The Aliens Have Departed. For Now.....

As I was taking my daily stroll around the house and yard, I noticed that the egg-shaped surveillance devices have disappeared. It seems that they have gathered the information they were seeking and have returned to the Mother-Ship. This concerns me, as it would appear that their next move would be to send a battallion of troops to overtake the Earth!

Not knowing the timetable these aliens (or dogs down the street) are working on, I rushed to the backyard to awaken Mattie. It didn't take me long to find him. He wasn't on the trampoline this time, but in the pile of leaves next to the trampoline that our mistress had raked off yesterday. If it were Fall, that cat would have the ultimate camoflauge, seeing as how MOST OF THE LEAVES STUCK TO HIS FUR!!!!! Unfortunately, it's SPRING, and that disguise won't work. *sigh* It's ineptness like his that will cost us this impending war!

Finally, he wandered to the front yard, and looked in the trees where the egg-shaped surveillance devices had been. It seemed that the enormity of the situation finally hit him! He stood there, mouth agape, eyes staring at the empty trees, and said:

"Dude!!!! Where did the cool toys go?!?!"

*sigh* How did the obviously superior gene pool from which I came spew forth such an IMBICILE?!? *sigh*

I will keep you posted as to the developing situation.

Something strange is going on around here....

It seems that aliens have landed in our front yard and planted some sort of surveillance devices in the trees. They are egg shaped, and different colors. I noticed them a couple of days ago. Concerned that they may have been planted by either aliens or the dogs from down the street, I sat in the bushes for a while just watching them, to see what their true purpose is. They just hung in the trees, obviously gathering information about our house and possibly about me and my family.

I dragged Mattie to the front yard to have him look at them, and see what he thought. It took me a while to wake him up, as he was snoozing on the trampoline in the leaves. He looked like the Creature from the Black Lagoon, with all the leaves stuck to his fur. He really needs to be a little bit more concerned about his appearance, especially since those egg-shaped surveillance devices are recording everything. He looked at them, and said, "Oh, wow.....how cool! New toys!" and then started to bat at them. *sigh* When the aliens land, I don't think he will be much help in the battle against them.

Oh, well. I shall continue my observations of these devices, and take whatever action is necessary to defend the planet from these insidious creatures who seem to be bent on defeating the Cat Federation....

Happy Easter!

Today is Easter! My mistress let me come in the house this morning while she was making something on the counter in the kitchen. Seems she couldn't quite SEE me, because she didn't put my bowl of milk down on the floor for me like she normally does. So, I had to "remind" her, by sharpening my claws on her legs. She told me that I was lucky she was wearing her jeans, otherwise, it would be "Back Outdoors" for me! FINALLY, she gave me my milk. But, wait....I smell something better than milk. It smells like....like....eggs? She's making deviled eggs! Isn't that sweet of her? To be making deviled eggs in honor of me!!! (seeing as how my name is Lucifer!) I didn't realize Easter was a holiday for me! I decided to help her make them, so I jumped up on the counter and surprised her! I don't think she liked that very much, because she yelled for Casey to come and get me so she could finish cooking....She must love me, though, because she let me lick the bowl when she was finished with it. I like this Easter thing. I wonder how often this holiday comes around....once a week would be great!!

Betrayed....

I now know what it means to be "Nootered". It means to be reduced to an existence of being less than a male cat! I should have expected something like this, when the nurse at the vet's office kept petting me and telling me "It will all be over in just a little bit, Lucifer." That didn't sound like an "Eat all you want sleepover" to me!

My mistress cooed over me when she came to pick up Mattie and me. She kept telling me that she loved us, and she was so sorry that we had to go through that, but that it would be for the best. Ah, well. I guess I can't be angry with her for long. She is so good to us, really. After she finished with the dishes this evening, she let me fall asleep in her lap while she was rubbing me between my ears. Maybe that was her way of trying to make it up to me? Yeah, I guess I still love her....(I just hope I don't have to go through something like that again!!!!)