Squirrel Ranching Notes

Away too long

It has been far too long since my last diary entry. I feel as though my emotions have been kept bottled and are ready to burst, so many thoughts and feelings race through my head. I could really go for some tuna right now, or perhaps even a shrimp cocktail (hold the sauce, hold the lemon).

I have been able to rest a little bit more, now that my plant manager Jorge is fully trained on all aspects of potato skin processing and the particulars of vegetable skin garment sewing. I consider him to be a high caliber squirrel with an exceptional work ethic. Not like the other lazy, lazy squirrels.

Almost the weekend

It's hard to focus on the work at hand with the delighted screams of childhood constantly in one's ears. The ranch, unfortunately is situated next to a playground equipped with a swingset and a slide.

I called around today to get a price quote on having a work shed constructed, to shield the squirrels from any awareness of the lazy, lazy children. They are a bad example and know only a life of frolicking and freedom.

Squirrel #254 asked me if I minded if they all had the day off on their sacred squirrel holiday, this coming Monday. They claim it is their cultural right to celebrate the national Squirrelbration. I haven't found anything on the internet about it yet, I sense they are "making it up".

Back to work. Just 3,000 more small scale potato-skin vests and the order for the "Tiny Person's Vegan Western Wear" order will be finally filled.

Cloudy, overcast day on the ranch.

Soon it will be spring, and life on the ranch will get easier. Right now the squirrels are a little un-ruly, and hard to manage. One of them actually asked me for a raise, and I told him to quickly get back to work and quit asking questions for which there is no real answer.

We have an urgent order for several thousand pairs of potato skin chaps, a country/western apparel company ordererd them. Some of the squirrels can't sew very well, and I have had to throw away many potato skins with mistakes on them.

I don't think the squirrels realize how costly this potato skin material is. It has to be peeled, then carefully dried before it can be sewn into garments.