January 14th 2010 8:03 am
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I know Samoa is the one with the advice column, but when a pal comes to you wanting to talk about friend girls, then I'm the one they count on for answers to their questions!
Ozzy send me an express-mail-to-the-bridge asking some important stuff about the upcoming holiday where girls get all ga-ga over boys. He knew other manly mancats would be in the same situation, so he said it would be okay to send him my response in my diary because it could help other unattached mancats.
Here is what Ozzy wrote:
I'm writing to get your mancat advice about Valentine's Day. My sisfur Harriet is all excited about Valentine's Day and she has signed us up for PenPaws card exchange. Mom says if we want to do the cards we have to participate as a family.
Here's where I need some advice: I don't want any girl cat to think that I am sending them a Valentine cuz I'm sweet on them. Like you and my pals _____ and _____, I'm a confirmed bachelor cat until I'm 21. How can I sign these cards so girl cats don't think I'm sweet on them? Can I get out of signing the cards? How can we avoid girl cats on Valentine's Day? If we get a card from a girl cat does that mean they like us?
I had to leave out Ozzy's pals' names to protect them - MOL! Dang, Ozzy, you are in, what we call up here at the bridge, a quandary! It sounds like you have to participate since it is a family thing. Boy, I'd be having a meeting and changing the family rules if you could do that! It's probably too late for this year, but you've got a whole year to figure out how to change it for next year.
Question #1. How do you sign the card? and Do you have to sign the card? You probably have to sign the card or the girl will be really confused and probably need therapy. Whatever you do, don't use the L word when you sign it. A girlcat will be walking you down the aisle faster than you can say catnip if you use that word. A safe way to sign it would be:
Your pal, or Your friendboy,, or Your mancat friend,
Question #2. How can we avoid girlcats on Valentine's Day?
The only way to totally avoid them would be to chew up the computer wires the day before. Then you can't get on the computer. But the downside to that is the girlcats will get worried and call you on the phone. It's better to be on the computer rather than have to talk to them on the phone.
Question #3. If we get a card from a girl cat does that mean they like us?
I think if you get a card from a girlcat, and you know you'll get some, then you can probably bet they think you're a handsome mancat. The best thing to do in that case is:
roll your eyes
It works for me every time . . . . . . . . . .
You are the best!!! Thank you so much for the advice; I knew you would have the answers. You are the type of mancat we all aspire to be every single day!
Excellent tips from a very wise mancat!
Calvin, you've rolled your eyes so much they're probably googly eyes by now!
I can't see them since you're at the bridge, so I just imagine you that way.
Ummmmmmmmmmmm........... I agwee witt ebbery werd yu speaks!!
Ohh Calvin! You're such a smart and devastatingly handsome MANcat! What's that Squeakers? *tunes into Squeakers at the Bridge* He is huh ...CALVIN! STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES AT ME!!!
I WILL remember to send a kiss your way on Valentines day!
Ha! Mancats are so silly always thinking we girl cats want to drag them down the aisle. Since that scares them so much, I think I will send a romantic card to all the mancats I know for Valentines Day just to shake them up...tee hee