May 1st 2013 9:33 am
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My precious, loving Aggie,
Today at 5:00pm will be one week since you went on your journey to the Rainbow Bridge - I still can't believe you're gone. I look at all your favorite spots in the house and my heart feels like it's being squeezed, the pain of not seeing you there is overwhelming. I can't cry at home because I don't want Claw and Stryder to pick up on my sadness, it affects them too much. Claw really misses you, Aggie, so please visit him and re-assure him that you're okay. I tell him every day that we had to let you go because you were suffering, you had problems breathing, swallowing - you couldn't eat - I tell him all these things every day and then I tell him you are now his very special guardian angel.
Yesterday I had to take Stryder to the vet and they had the door open to the room where we said our goodbyes to you - I thought I was going to faint, Aggie. And then I realized that your precious little body was still there because the crematory people only pick up little furry bodies on Wednesday - and then I felt an urge to see you one more time - but I realized seeing you would only leave a bad image for the rest of my life. That precious body was just a temporary vessel for your unique and beautiful spirit and once your spirit left, your body lost the spark of life that was you.
I miss your "Aggie-isms" ...
- Your quivering tail when you greeted us.
- The way you would utter "awr" whenever you were out in the patio and I would open the glass door to check on you. Sometimes I would look through the glass door and, even though I could not hear you, I could tell you were saying "awr" to me by looking at your little face. And then I would open the door and "awr" back at you and we would have a little conversation of "awrs" and chirps. I miss that so much, Aggie.
- The way you would hide under the step stool in my closet, you looked like a turtle, your body under the step stool and your head sticking out.
- The way you would jump up on my desk and lie down and them "awr" at me so I would brush you. You would always end up returning the favor by grooming my arm.
- The way you would run to the foyer when I set the alarm every morning, you would plop down on the rug and wait for me to say goodbye for the day. I always told you that you were in charge and I would tell the other kitties "Aggie's in charge today". Sometimes you would roll over and offer me your belly - that was extra special.
- The way I could count on your pretty face greeting me at the door every afternoon when I got home from work. Sometimes you'd let me pet your head and sometimes you would drop to the floor and offer your belly for soft bellyrubs.
- I miss seeing you sleeping at night propped up against the front door. You were either making sure we didn't get out or no one got in. You were our protector.
- Your little jump before you rubbed your cheek on the walls to mark your scent.
- I miss seeing you in your box under the utility cart in the kitchen.
- I miss seeing you in your box that still sits in front of the pantry door.
I MISS YOU!!!
These are just some of the things I miss about you, Aggie. There are so many other endearing things that were so unique about you that I will always treasure in my heart. Perhaps the most beautiful memory of you is the day we brought you home from the shelter, November 12, 2005. We set the little cardboard carrier on the floor, opened the top and you jumped out and walked around as if you had always lived there - you were home! That day you made our home yours and you made our hearts a special place where you could leave your love knowing it would be safe for all eternity.
I love you, Aggie, I wish we could have had many more years together, I wish I could hold you again and kiss your head and rub your soft belly ... I wish we could have beat that awful malignant tumor, my little girl.
Your human mom/typist/servant - loving guardian.
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Sending your momma lotsa purrs.
Purrs to your mom and though the things you miss are hard, they are also such very special memories and soon thinking of those will make you smile and hurt a little less.
Hugs and purrs
Angel Patches and Family
Daddy has to stop reading your stories about sweet Aggie, his eyes start leaking every time. She sounds like she was just so special, like daddy and meowmy say that we are. She will always live on in your heart. Purring softly for you all...