We will conquer the world

Now that my darling partner in crime, Ubu, has joined the ranks of the Catster nation, nothing will prevent us from TOTAL world domination. As a matter of point, yesterday I had the humans completely under my control. The large beasts were at the mysterious *boarding facility*. I must find out what this is. The beasts seem rather happy upon return, and the kissy red one won't tell me what it is all about. But still, Ubu makes her Catster page and I receive all of the pets on the same day. It must be a sign.

By the next time I write, dear diary, I expect to have made the world my litter box.

Happy Get Day to my friends Reno and Vegas!

They will be 4 years old on Wednesday! What great kitties!

A Haiku for them

Reno and Vegas are cute
Their mom has coach bags
I think they should get tuna

My friend Pinot in Atlanta

My girlfriend Pinot lives in Atlanta. She is the cutest. I wish her mom would bring her to visit me. I can't go to Atlanta cause car rides give me anxiety attacks.

*waves at Pinot and her mom*

I also want to visit with my friends Reno and Vegas. They live in Ohio.

I'm just lonely right now. If I had more cats friends at home then maybe Punk wouldn't annoy me so.

HATE!

HISS!

I am a reasonable cat. A loving cat. I come when I am called, and I love on every person that comes through my home (except, of course children, with their grabbiness, and stepping on tail-ness, and the like). WHY do the humans INSIST on foisting these "foster" dogs upon me? WHY?

My sister is a beautiful example of a dog, in the sense that she doesn't bother me unless I give her permission and basically stays out of my way. But this "pumpkin" creature-he wants to slobber on me all day long. Now, the humans say "oh, he's just trying to kiss you", but I KNOW better. He is looking for the opportunity to encapsulate my head inside that enormous maw.

Mother is getting just a tid bit tired of my constant hissing and punching of the creature, but my word, what does she expect? He's literally 10 of me. I must take the offensive.

Send me your best thoughts, I'm going to find anther "tall" place to sit and hiss from. I want Alex back.

purr.