Why are some humans so stupid?

I'm sorry for sounding so bitter today but I have to get something off my furry little chest....
I live very close by to an old peoples housing complex, ideal neighbours you might think? - think again. These houses are small one bedroom bungalows, just big enough for a couple of old age pensioners. So why is the house at the end of the road inhabited by at least six lunatics?!! I'm talking about the kind of people who steal milk floats at 3AM and drive them around under the influence of alcohol smashing into all the parked cars on the street as they go! (Yes this actually happened - and we are talking about a middle aged woman here!)

The lunatics decided to get themselves a pet. Now, what would be an ideal pet for a this houseful of lunes plus baby in the one bedroom bungalow with a 10ft square garden? A rabbit? A budgie? No, a fully grown adult Japanese Akita that has had previous behavioural problems.
Within a few days of owning the dog, it got out and attacked a neighbours King Charles Spaniel almost killing it and putting it in intensive care for two days. The police won't act because it was a 'dog on dog' attack. I know that with the right RESPONSIBLE owners and living conditions these dogs can probably make good pets but I've heard that they are inclined to attack other smaller dogs and cats as they are dominant dogs. Apparently it killed 2 cats at it's previous address.......

Yesterday evening it got out AGAIN, a neighbour came and warned my mum and dad and they got me in. I was not allowed out again yesterday so spent the rest of the day distressed and crying.
The dog warden was called but apparently they only work 'council hours'! WHAT USE IS THAT!!!??? The police didn't think it mattered because it's only attacked a dog before. After 2 hours of it being on the loose, the owners themselves called the police and said they were worried that the dog could attack a child if the child was walking a dog. My dad saw the dog about a mile away and tried to trap it in a garden (he's SO brave) but it got away. I went to bed hoping it would never return.....

This morning the dog was back again but guess what - a couple of hours later it got out AGAIN so I've had to stay in today AGAIN.

Everything was OK until that dog came to live here. Because of it's irresponsible owners who are incapable of keeping their garden gate closed, I'm having to suffer.
Why are some humans so stupid?
Word.

What a great 10 days!!

The last 10 days have been absolutley fantastic!
Firstly, on Wednesday the 26th of April I was named as Catster *Cat of the Week*!! I just cannot describe how much of a shock this was! To be selected out of 68,000 cats was FABBY DABBY DOO!
My week as COTW just whizzed by! It was party, party party! Compliments....rosettes.....more rosettes.....lady -cats positively THROWING themselves at me......*wink*
I was actually COTW for 8 DAYS! Although this was a bonus it made it all the more difficult when I had to relinquish my throne. When I saw the next COTW announced, I felt literally wizened.....shrunken....crushed.....deprived and deflated (for about 7 minutes - then I recovered.)

Anyone who knows me in my neighborhood would never have guessed I had been living the life of an international superstar on Catster. I just mooched around the gardens and back allies with my usual nonchalance eating flies, drinking from the bird-bath, all the while knowing I had a bottle of catnip champagne (Nypstal - the very best) on ice down at Tabby Hall...

The climax of these heavenly 10 days is the Spring Fling occuring today over at Tabby Hall. Currently the tabbies are enjoying a hog roast and other gourmet delights, tuna punch and catnip brew by the gallon and are later too be entertained by a live band of tabby-point Siamese cats yippee-aye-eh!!!
Word.

Giving them 'the runaround'.

I am an 'outdoorsy' kind of cat -always have been. My mum and dad would be happier, deep down, if I was a totally 'indoors' cat because they wouldn't have to worry about cars, dogs, local brats or me ending up in a takeaway meal etc.
They tried to keep me in before but I kicked up such fuss about it that they realised I'd never be happy as an 'indoors' cat.
So, reluctantly I'm let out more or less when I want. Well, as long as there's someone home and I'm not allowed out overnight unlike most cats in my neighbourhood.
Usually I abide by the rules. I never wander far from the back garden and I *usually* come in without a fuss at night.
The night before last, I decided to challenge the rules. I'd already come in for the night as far as they were concerned and they's taken off my collar (I always sleep naked) . I could see my friend, Soda outside in my garden. He's allowed out all night by his owners and was taunting me. I waited for the right moment...my dad (who's only got one pace -S L O W) went out the back door to put some crumbs on the bird table. On his way back through the door, I shot past him like a speeding arrow. "HAH!!! I'm freeeeeeeeeeee!" I thought!
I was overcome with mischievousness and dashed and darted all around the garden with glee. Soda was well impressed. I was just like him - a naked 'night-stalker'!
I could hear my mum saying "just ignore him...lets close the door and pretend we're not bothered..... he'll soon want to come in....blah de blah de blah..."
No you pair of suckers!!! I'm out for the night!!.... See me run around these plantpots!! Look at me!!....Look at me!!....I know your watching me through the window...LOOOOOOOSERS!!!
It didn't take long before they abandoned their 'pretending not to be bothered' plan. "Come and help me catch him..." I heard mum say to dad. How pathetic, that it would take 2 of them to catch ME - I'm only 1ft tall!!
I put up a valiant effort, but in the end I was defeated. It finished up with me on my back under a bush, fending the pair of them off with various kicking and biting moves. I think I could have evaded dad all night but mum lunged at me, grimacing as she took my blows. She wanted to get to bed so really I had no chance.
Iwas carried in, humiliated. Soda sniggered as I was carried past him.
I got my revenge though....I made sure I set my 'alarm clock' for 4.55am the next morning.Word.

Check out my 'bird'.

You should see my girlfriend Lucy's slideshow, she is soooo beautiful....I'm so proud.

Danger Cat!

Yesterday, my beautiful and talented girlfriend, Lucy, wrote me a song!
The song was written to accompany my 'around the carpet sliding' that I do so enjoy. To be sung to me by my mum and dad while they do the dragging.
It goes to the tune of spiderman.

Danger Cat, Danger Cat
Handsome Bladey the Danger Cat
Can he slide on the floor
Make the den his obstacle course
Look out
Here comes the Danger Cat

Is he hot, he's on fire!
He's the object of my desire
He devours yummy prawns
Then goes and toilets out on the lawn
Hey there
There goes the danger cat

In the still of the night
While locked in the house
He wakes mum and dad
Makes them grumble and grouse

Danger cat, danger cat
Handsome Bladey the danger cat
Sexy cat in leather chaps
Makes me swoon when he sings his raps

For handsome Blade, life's a crack up
Get too sassy, he'll give you a smack up
He's the hot handsome danger cat.

I'm so pleased with my song that I'm preparing something for her in return...