You're the One For Me, Catty

Where's the good stuff?

This morning I woke my human up at 3 a.m. She was sleeping on the couch. I usually sleep on her feet when she's on the couch, but this morning I decided to sleep on the top half of her pillow. Then, this hunger overtook me. I haven't been eating well. My human thinks that she can push dry crap on me when she snacks on chicken soup and turkey cold cuts. Where's the good, wet stuff?

I patted my human's head gently with my paw. She didn't respond. Then, her hair got tangled in my claw. It was an accident, I swear. She woke up and went to her bedroom.

I hate it when she sleeps in her bed. I can't see her from the floor. If I jump on to the bed, there's no telling if she'll let me stay there. Sure, she only seems to push me off or hit me with her pillow after I've put my paws over her closed eyes, but I don't hurt her. Not in awhile.

By 4 a.m., I couldn't stand it. She was still sleeping and I was still hungry. Then, I got an idea-- I'll scratch the carpet! That didn't seem to work. It usually does, but she just didn't react. I went underneath the bed for a nap.

At 5 a.m., that's when I reached my last straw. I jumped on the bed and poked her, but she just pushed me off the bed. I went to the kitchen to meow at someone, anyone who would listen.

At 5:30 a.m., I heard blankets ruffle. Finally! She headed towards the fridge! Fancy Feast, yea!

6:00 a.m. - Wait, she went back to sleep? Why does she do that? I meowed, but she didn't come back. I sat at the foot of her bed, but she didn't move. So, I scratched the carpet again. That got her attention. She got up, grabbed that horrible water bottle and sprayed me good. Well, I wouldn't scratch the carpet again, but I wouldn't leave her alone either...

6:30 a.m. - I pretended that I was going to scratch the carpet. One little pluck... Then, she bolted up from her bed, but I was already out the door. Ha! No proof!

7:00 a.m. - I was under her bed, waiting for her to get up. Her alarm usually goes off by now with that awful country music. Why does she listen to that?

7:15 a.m. - Finally! She headed to the kitchen, picked up my food bowl and washed it. She put it back down on the floor, but it only had that dry crap in it. I glared at her and walked away. She never gets it.

8:00 a.m. - Out the door. Finally, I can get some sleep. She better come back.