October 15th 2010 8:56 pm
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But i was trying to sleep and Douder was sitting on top of me and I started to miss Otha Dark. I miss how he would meow at my at night and then, when I opened the door, he would go "meoooow"and run to my bed. And sleep with me all night. And in the mornings start kneading my chest and face and purring really loudly and slamming his head into my head until I woke up. Then he would sit with me at breakfast and I would always give him my spoon to lick and he would go "meooooow" when I did. And he would always sit with me on the couch or when I was on the computer [and when it was at the computer, i would throw him off when i got uncomfortable but he would just jump right back up]. And when I got home from school he would sometimes be waiting for me at my bedroom door. Or on the couch or under the piano or wherever and whenever he saw me he would "meooooow" and follow me wherever for the rest of the night. He would always be with me. He liked me more than anyone else and I think he was my favorite cat ever. Like, we were so close. Closer than me and Bailey, me and the first Douder, and me and Claire. Even closer than Non-Dancey*, who also just kind of disappeared.
That's how I know he must have died. [I remember it took me so long to actually write that sentence. It was when I finally accepted it.] He wouldn't have run away--he loved me too much. I hope that he isn't dead--like, maybe some other family has him now. I didn't put signs up like I should have. I was making "Missing Cat" posters last winter-ish [when he had been missing during a snow for a few days] when he showed up at the back door, meooooowing. I cried I was so happy. And as soon as he had eaten he had eaten he sat on my lap and purred. I should have put signs up 4 f***ing months ago when he went missing,but I guess I thought he would come back like last time. My mom supposedly went to look for him at the SPCA while I was in Michigan.
But that is something I worried about--Michigan and France. When I decided to go in--I dunno, March maybe?--I was worried that Otha would miss me and maybe think that I had left him.But he left first.
And last night when I was trying to sleep I just started crying.
Well,class is almost over....
*These are all former cats that I was close to.
October 13th 2008 2:45 pm
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I will love Otha forever.
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