June 25th 2007 11:19 pm
My human is so mean.
Like the other day for example. I was sitting on the windowsill watching a cute little squirrel jumping around in the treetops. It look so cute I just wanted to jump up and play with it, until I'd beaten it to death. Then I'd play with it some more.
So, I jumped up to try and catch it.
OK, so I forgot the window was there.
I first crashed into the window, then fell down with a crash landing onto Lisa's bed.
I'm so glad she has her bed next to the window or I might have lost another of my 9 lives.
Anyway, me crashing down next to her at 6am apparently scared the crap out of her. She screamed.
When she realised what had happened she called me "stupid."
Me! Stupid? I'm not the one that put a see through sheet of glass there.
Told you my human was mean.
Tonight she really outdid herself at the whole tormenting me thing.
She cooked lamb. She's a vegetarian!
The cow didn't give me any. Not even a tiny little piece. And she knows how much I love lamb. Real proper lamb I mean. Not that processed crap for cats.
The whole flat smells of lamb and it's making me hungry. Not only didn't she give me any, she's hidden it so I can't find it and help myself.
In protest I'm sitting in front of the oven and I'm not moving. She's put me some regular cat food down for dinner, but I ain't touching it. Not when there's real lamb somewhere in the flat. My plan is that eventually she'll think I'm so cute and patient and adorable that she'll cave and give me some lamb. Or I'll go on hunger strike, and in the end she'll have to give me lamb or I'll starve.
Why was a vegetarian roasting lamb chops anyway?
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