September 2nd 2006 11:42 am
OK, when the human isn't feeling well (which seems to be so much of the time), never once have I tried to shove her in a box and cart her around London to her least favourite place in the world.
So, what does she do to me?
I'm not feeling 100%. I can't pee and my bladder hurts.
Instead of pampering me and trying to cheer me up, just like I treat her when she's poorly; she stuffed me in my carry box (I was so angry that I grabbed the door as she was putting me in there and slammed it shut behind me) and carted me off to the vet.
Hello!!! I'm ill! I don't even like going there when I'm fine. They poke you, stick you with sharp stuff, and, there's always evil dogs about.
And that's exactly what happened this morning. When the vet finally managed to pull me out of my box (damn my illness leaving me feeling less capable of defending myself) she went straight for the bladder and poked it. The human had just told you that was the bit of me that hurt, yet, you still went straight for it? Sadists.
The vet left the room for a while. I had a look around to see if there was any way I could escape the torture of what she might do when she came back. There wasn't. Damn.
The vet came back brandishing not just one but 2 sharp things. Which she stabbed me with. Apparently those sharp things will make my pain go away. That is just such human logic, isn't it? To make your pain go away we'll hurt you more by stabbing you.
The good news is that I'm only allowed to eat wet food for the next five days. The bad news is that if I'm still having trouble peeing then, I have to go back to that nasty place, and they're gonna keep me there until they've gotten their hands on some of my wee to "sample". I don't even wanna know. I'm determined to not think about it.
Hehe. Actually, I feel rather happy and fuzzy. Maybe there is something to that stabbing thing that it makes you feel better after all? Next time the human is poorly I'll stab her with my claw and see if it helps.
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