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Tagged - 5 Annoying Habits of the Human

February 3rd 2011 3:24 pm
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I have been tagged by several friends…like Tweak…or the delicious Milagrito…who are curious to know the 5 things that annoy me about my human. Five??!! Are you sure you do not want more! OK, then, there is the top 5, in no particular order, but my tail is twitching just thinking about the list.

1. My furson, Mom, the two-legger who sleeps here and occasionally feeds me, went out one day and came back with ANOTHER CAT! She said “Coffee, you have a new sister and you are going to just love her. She is soooooo cute.” Guess what? I do not love her and I do not see what is so cute about a fluffy-tailed cat with blue eyes who eats my food and sleeps on my pillows. I do not care that she is a Ragdoll and comes with papers. Papers? Isn’t that what goggies use when they cannot be trained to go outside? MOL.

2. My Mom fusses at me because I make the fluffy-tailed cat leave MY PILLOW. I don’t care that I am not ready to sleep on that pillow right away. I don’t think Pandora should be allowed to touch any of MY STUFF.

3. OK, this one is serious and makes my tail really switch back and forth…Mom rations the treats. She gives me ONLY 6 pieces of treats regardless of how good I have been or how well I have ruled my kingdom! I am the Queen and the Queen wants more treats!.

4. Next is that Mom doesn’t understand the game we play. Let me set the scene: Mom is on the sofa and I decided to join her. I prefer to stretch out just within the reach of her out-stretched arm. I get all comfy, roll over, exposing my beautiful tummy furs, and I start to purr. Mom reaches over and rubs my belly, once, then twice, and then stops…or sometimes she doesn’t stop. It really doesn’t matter because it is all a game called “bite the hand that rubs the belly.” I guess this really isn’t something that belongs on the list, because the game is more frustrating to Mom than me. I win every time we play and all she gets is a few marks on her hand. I will leave it on the list since she is transcribing this for me – it’s the least I can do.

5. My last pet peeve for today has to do with the trip to the vet. I show my displeasure at this every time by leaving a poo or two in the carrier. She has yet to take the hint that I do not like to ride in cars, ride in a pet stroller to the vet, go to the vet, get in the carrier, have strangers pick me up and poke me in personal places, and I could go on, but you get the picture!

Now for the final step, I've tagged Mugsy, Cocoa, Starbuck Jones, Klemy Q-Tip and Biscotto. Now, tag five other friends and invite them to play – BUT not before you leave me some treats in my Catster inbox!!

 

Princess Pooter

August 20th 2010 5:10 pm
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Dear Diary,

My heart is breaking for Princess Pooter and her Mommy and Daddy. Princess Pooter is very sick. Please purr for Princess Pooter when you read this diary. Her Catster page is http://www.catster.com/cats/336990

Queen Coffee

 

Tagged

July 23rd 2010 7:49 am
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I've been tagged by my friend, Mugsy! Thanks for tagging me Mugsy. Now all I have to do is answer 5 questions and tag someone else.

1. Do you ever wake your parent up in the night? No, I like to sleep in with Mommy. I have a pillow on Mommy's bed and that is where I stay most of the night. It's the brat cat that lives with me and Mom that wakes everyone up at dark-thirty every morning! Brat!

2. Do you ever tear up things? No, I do not see the point in spending my energy on something that does not involve eating or sleeping.

3. What is your favorite treat? Whatever you have!!!! I will be at your feet fast-as-lightning when I hear the treat bag rattle.

4. Can you fetch something when asked to do so? Yes! I taught my Mom how to toss treats around the room and I run (well, more like trot) to fetch them -- 'cept I don't return them to Mom. I eats them!

5. Have you ever lived any place other than where you live now? Oh yeah. I was a frequent flier at the animal shelter where Mom volunteered. It took my Mom a l-o-n-g time to figure out that I was supposed to go home with her.

Now I think I will tag...hmmmm....who will it be...I have to give this some thought! I know!! If you are reading this, you have to scroll to the top of my page, leave me some treats, and TAG -- you are tagged! You have to write about yourself in your diary! Sugar Bear (Mrs. Precious), you are tagged!

 

Catster News

March 29th 2010 7:40 am
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Hmmmph! That fluffy-headed Pandi (wahoti) might be Catster's Cat-of-the-Day today, but that doesn't make her the Queen of anything. I am STILL the Queen of this house, this condo building, the street, everything in Wrigleyville and East Lakeview and other part of Chicago. I am Queen! I am even the Queen of Catster's Cat-of-the-Day!

 

New Castle

August 10th 2009 11:37 am
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Dear Diary,

It might feel like to you that it has been a long time since I wrote to you, but in the feline universe -- it's not that much time.

Just wanted to let you know that the furson FINALLY *roll of eyes and hands on hips* decided to upgrade the castle. It's about time! Around the first of October we will be moving to a new castle that has 27 floors below me. The 3-floor castle we live in now is just not tall enough for me to do my royal surveillances. From the 27th floor I will be able to keep watch over all of Wrigleyville, East Lakeview and other far reaching part of Chicago -- AND Lake Michigan. I have been promised 12 windows from which to view my world from the 27th floor.

I hope the 2-legger furson is leaving Pandora (btw..."Mz Piggy" is the right nickname for her) in the 3-floor castle. However, I have my suspicions. I overheard the furson telling the fluffy, air-headed Pandi that she would have lots of boxes and some new digs. I only hope that means Pandi is getting a new litterbox. The one she uses now is stinky! If on moving day I sense plans are to move Pandi-Pandi into my new castle, maybe I could stuff her in the closet!! MOL!

Updates to come. If all the readers of my diary would just leave me some treats, life would be great. I will need all the nurishment I can get between now and October!!

Purrs,
Queen Coffee, Supreme and Upmost Feline Ruler of Chicago and Wrigleyville.

Go Cubs Go!

 

Packages and Presents

December 22nd 2008 10:44 am
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Dear Diary,

About two months ago Mom bought a new pillow that the chiropractor said would be great for her neck. So she unwrapped it, slid a pillow case over it, and proceeded to test the pillow. The pillow has all the stuffing along the edges and the corners, leaving the center of the pillow hollowed out -- supposedly for a human head to rest, but guess what!?!?! I discovered the center of the pillow is the purrrfect shape to cradle a feline -- especially a feline of Royal lineage and Rules her Kingdom as all Royal Felines should.

By the second night of Mom and the new pillow, I had taken over the pillow -- but when she insisted, I allowed Mom a few inches on the corner where her neck was still nicely supported. You should have heard the gumbling and complaining -- she kept it up for days and weeks -- "I paid Big Bucks for a pillow and cannot use it!" "Why is it that I start out the night with my head on the pillow but sometime during the night a cat steals my pillow?"

Hmmmmph....I didn't steal the pillow -- it came to the house shaped for a cat to sleep on and since I am in the house -- oh let's say 24/7 and Mom is in the house let's say 10/7, that means I have the greater hours of possession so the pillow is MINE! She can use it -- just not the center!

One morning Mom complained to her sister, my wonderful Aunt Janet who lives in Maryland. Aunt Janet suggested Mom buy another pillow, but Mom said she would have to wait until next year. Aunt Janet just couldn't stand the thought of that and decided to come to the rescue! On Saturday the man dressed in brown and driving a big brown truck arrived to our building and left a package addressed to ME! It was a big box and I was hoping it was filled to the brim with nip, but was I in for a surprise! My favorite Aunt Janet who loves me sent a pillow exactly like Mom's...and sent it to ME with a note "here is Coffee's Christmas present!" Pandora cannot sleep on it and Mom cannot sleep on it! It's all MINE -- and the box it came in! Mom promised to take photos and post them so every cat can the best pillow in the world!

Now it's time for me to use it.....ZZzzzzzZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzz

Uh...Dear Reader, before I drop off into Feline Dreamland...don't forget to scroll to the top of my page and leave me some treats (more than 2 is nice and more than 10 is better).

 

Woozle's Game

December 5th 2008 3:40 pm
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Dear Diary,

My friend and hot-air balloon adventuring partner, Milagrito, tagged me to play a new game invented by Woozle: What vegetable, fruit or flower would you be? Milagrito said only the most brillant of cats can answer these questions which means the answers will be thoughtful and logical in cat-sense. I would like to add that the cats should be beautiful too!

I posed these questions aloud to my secretary and typist (aka Mom) who immediately said for fruit I am the Coffee berry (Coffee beans are the seeds of the Coffee berry), but I immediately put a paw up to her face in order to halt that line of thinking. Milagrito's instructions are to give the answers some thought -- and since I am a feline of long line of royalty and beauty and Supremeness, I would like to ponder the answers a bit longer (Mom! Please just type and not interject your opinions!).

First the vegetable. I chose the royal vegetable. The one that is slender, delicate - requiring tender attention, and expensive. I am Asparagus.

I could be the fruit of the Coffee tree, but I think it is only an alternate for me. Instead, I am the Queen of fruits. The most desired fruit of royalty. Like me, it has a long lineage and is desired by royalty because of its great benefit to a healthy life. I have that same effect of humans!! I am Garcinia Mangostana!

Now the flower ... {Coffee paces back and forth, tapping the side of her head with her paw.} Certainly the color has to be purple. Although Queen Elizabeth II would think the purple tulip might represent my royal stature and personality best, the purple tulip is really the "common" flower of royalty. With all due respect to my fellow Royal Felines, I do not think that fits my description. I am the flower with a purple bloom (the royal color). My flower prefers full sun (duh!) and my bloom time is unpredictable (could not have described myself any better). My foliage is always green with a soft, velvet or fuzzy texture (except for the "green" -- ME, ME, ME!), and my plant likes to be snug in its bed (no denying that's me)! It stands to reason, therefore, that I am the "Calotropis gigantea" or the "Crown Flower."

I will allow Mom to interject here that the Crown Flower plant likes to be watered regularly -- which is a trait I also share.

The final brain-taxing step in this game is to tag a few other felines who will give some thought to what vegetable, fruit and flower would they be. Hmmmm....I think I will tag: Pandora, Pedro, Fafnir...and let's see who else...there's Haley Ann...and...(better check your p-mail to see if you've been tapped by the Queen Coffee!)

Instructions to the reader of this diary entry: before leaving this page, you must scroll to the top of my page and deposit several treats in my Catster treat box. Several...such as 17 or 9 or 33.

 

Tagged

November 18th 2008 8:37 am
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Dear Diary,

*Yawn* ~~s t r e t c h ~~. I am supposed to tell seven things about me. Here's my list:

1. I am the Queen!

2. I have new pearls.

3. I have a new pillow. Mom bought it from the chiropractor who told her to use it to keep her neck in place at night. I found it works best if I use it instead.

4. I am still the Queen!

5. I can hiss at Miss Pandi Party-Pants and make her skeee-daddle out of the room!

6. I am very sweet and affectionate, but don't touch my belly unless you want to play "bite-the hand-that-touches-the-belly" game!

7. The one and only thing you should always remember about me...I am the Supreme and Most High Queen!

 

Tagged!

July 25th 2008 4:13 pm
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Dear Diary,

I was tagged a couple of times to enter into the diary six things I do not like...and tag some other cats! Starting with #6...

#6. I do not like it when I'm sleeping peacefully and comfortably with Mom and she lets out a SNEEZE or a COUGH! How rude is that?

#5. I do not like it when Mom uses MY toys to play with fuzzy Pandora.

#4. I do not like it when I am spooned with Mom, in bed, and Mom moves! Excuse me! I was quite comfortable!

#3. I do not like it when Prissy Pandora gets on the bed when she knows perfectly well it is MY SPACE!

#2. I do not like it when dinner is served late.

#1. I do not like it when Pandi Pandi Party Pants uses MY cat scratching pad, eats out of my bowl, uses my litter box, or breathes when she is around me....that's MY oxygen and she should go somewhere else to get her air!

 

Reclaiming My Throne

February 29th 2008 8:22 am
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Dear Diary,

The coup is over and I am back at home! I have reclaimed by Title of Queen Coffee, Brilliant and Beautiful, Excellent and Surpreme Ruler of All Things Caffinated or De-Caffinated, of all of Wrigleyville and Other Parts of Chicago.

Because I am the Most Gracious Queen Coffee, I forgave my Mom for participating in the terrible events of yesterday. In fact, I woke her around 3:00 AM this morning to let her know. I was so pleased with myself that I purred so loud that it woke her! Mom was so grateful that she started to give me pets. I insisted that she handle her Precious Coffee Cup with two hands this time! After a few head bumps and some very loud purrs, I crawled up on her chest until she got the message! She used both hands to rub my head, my cheeks, my back and my favorite...by my tail. I allowed Mom to rest for a while but reminded her again at 4:30 AM that I had forgiven her and that she needed to pet me some more...and she did! And I am such a happy cat to be back on the throne....with ALL my teeth in tact.

Don't you think I am deserving of some treats for my honorable treatment of my Mom? Me, too!!!! I hope those who read my diary know how to scroll to the top of the page and deposit lots and lots of treats for me!

 
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