Thwart again

I am sad to say that after much planning and much scheming my efforts have been thwarted yet again by the pesky humans. I did manage to have the dog in the bathroom and the sink half full before the human called "Mom" discovered it and released the dog and drained the sink. Luckily the smallest child called the "toddler" was blamed for the mess and no one was any wiser to my attempts. Still I have great hope and will live to try another day. Viva La resistance.

Attempt 3

With the failure of the first two attempts on the dogs life, I have decided that I need to bide my time and be more patient in the death of the dog. I discovered to day while visiting the humans litter box, if I rub my back on the sink handels I can activate a small trickle of water. At first I thought this was handy for me to get a fresh drink from a running water supply, but then I accidentily knocked something in the sink and clogged the hole the water exits through. I then relized that in a matter of hours the sink was filling very slowly. I have used my brilliant powers of deduction to help me come to the conclusion that if I can lock the dog in the humans litter box, while the sink is running, she will surley be dead in a few days. So I wait with baited breath along with the rest of my feline friends for the demise of the dog. Viva La resistance.

Update on second attempt

I am sad to report that the second attempt on the dogs life was also a misserable failure. Despite my best laid plans, along with the evergreen, and the thing called Christmas other new things entered the home, they are called presents. I am assured that some of these are for me, and am fairly certain I smelled cat nip in one, but this has also brought about new security messures from the humans whom seem rather upset when I lob my body at the top of the tree. And with the nearing of the "christmas" the pile of presents seems to grow, making it more secure and not as easily toppled. Never fear though, for I still have hope that we will one day be emancepated from the minacal grasp of doggie doom. Viva La resistance.

Attempt number 2

Despite the first attempt on the dogs life being a total failure, I have not given up. Now that the thing called "Thanksgiving" has passed a new thing called "Christmas" has entered the home. And with it a Giant evergreen tree has been erected in the living room. I have discovered that if I throw my self at the top of the tree from the back of the sofa, I can off balance it and with a little luck, crush the dog in my efforts. That is of course, if the humans don't thwart my efforts. Viva La Resistance...Death to the doggie

Attempt number one

Today was something called thanksgiving. I'm not exactly sure what it is about but the whole house was filled with lots of loud people and wonderfully intoxicating smells. Unfortunatley it also meant it was full of feet, and that can be dangerous for a cat and his tail. Anyways, in keeping with my original plan of the doggies demise, I decided to make my first attempt on her life today. Luckily the human called NaNa decided to help me. She lined up all these perfectly lovely clinky heavy leaded crystal glasses on the counter, in a perfectly straight line. Eight of them to be exact. The drooling beast was in the kitchen waitting for any snippits of gravey or turkey she could beg. (dogs they have no dignity I tell ya) Now all I had to do was wait. I placed my self stratigically on the laundry porch and waited till she positioned herself directly under the ledge of the counter. Now's my chance I sprang all the stealth and limber beauty of a South African Gymnast onto the counter amidst the heavy leaded crystal glasses. The slobbering monster below looking at me expectantly hoping I will throw down a bone for her feasting pleasure. I begin tauntingly weaving my nimbel body through the heavy leaded crystal glasses, deciding which one I'll push on her head first, When suddenly there is much screeching and yelling from the human called Mom. Before you can say jack sprat dozens of "lady hands" are reaching for the heavy leaded crystal glasses and removing me from the counter. The slobbering beast was also shooed from the kitchen. I am sad to report that my first attempt at the dogs dimise was foiled by Mom and her gang of women. But as this was only a first attempt, I have not given up hope. Viva la resistance. The dog must die.

The AUDACITY

I Can't belive it! The Sheer Audacity. First I have to share MY HOME with that dog Lucy, and Now, NOW they've gone and made her a page and she has to share My PAGE with me. Who ever heard of such a thing! Where's my cat nip, where's my cat nip, Deep cleansing breaths, Deep cleansing breaths. This isn't over yet dog. It's not over till the fat cat sings!!! Viva la resistance.

THE DOG!

We had a dog. A perfectly wonderful cocker spaniel named Angel. He was old, and quite, and sweet and gentle. He let me sleep with him, never chased me only cuddled me, left me alone when I couldn't be bothered and never ate my food. And then as some old dogs do he slipped away and left us. It was odd, it was sad, we knew he was gone but didn't know why. Then SHE came. The NEW dog. Oh sure she was cute, and little and wiggely. But she also DROOLED, and Bit, and BARKED, and she chases me and bites my tail. She's getting bigger now, and I think maybe some day, I might like her as much as angel.... She could be fun, maybe... But right now I'm pretty sure, she must be Destroyed! VIVA LA RESISTANCE!!!! DEATH TO THE DOGGIE!!!! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(the views of the kitty expressed above are not the general overall feeling of the family however he is the authorized reprosentitive of all felines in the house)

PS. No animals will be harmed or where harmed in the making of this diary page ; )