mi birfday ... or how mi mom fergot it wuz mi birfday ... by- jeter harris (hizself)

dat'z rite. i hadda birfday las week. it wuz march 3rd, in fact. mi mom fergot. i tride to remind her but she wuz so self absorbed* ... she fergot.
but mi grate frendz diden't ferget.
i wanna thank mi bes frendz at da bridge scootie patootie and cal fer rememberin.
i wanna thank mi grate an fabyoolus frendz e + f fer rememberin.
i wanna thank da cat street boyz fer rememberin.
i wanna thank kc fer rememberin.
i wanna thank margo (let'z go yankeez) fer rememberin.
i wanna thank hazel lucy fer rememberin.
an finallee ...
i wanna thank mi bes frend reebok da grate fer rememberin.
but mi mom?
not so much.
i hav decided to ferget her birfday dis yeer.
see how she feelz.
duhr.

*all full uv yerself an yer stuff.

i'm all abowt ...

cal.
calvin iz havin a bit uvva problum latelee.
i wuz cal's "pal uv da week" an it wuz verree eksitin fer me. it wuzza honor!
cal iz so smart an funnee ... an he'zza grate frend. a grate frend to EVRYCAT!
i'm havin sum trubbel ritin dis becuz i'm a little wurried fer him.
wut i wanna say iz ... i luv u cal ... an i'm purrin an purrayin fer u wid all mi hart!
stay strong buddy!
jh

tabbygail

i wunder if u cood do me a fayver if yer reedin dis.
cood u purr fer mi frend 'kaika'z sistah tabbygail. she'zza byootiful girl ... an purrz wood make her feel better ...
thank u.
luv--yer frend--jh

duhr

sumtimez u jus get rapped up in da daily stuff like eetin an nappin an catchin a occashunal mowse ... den, befor u know it, u missed owt on all da fun.
so mi bes frend reeb'z dad wuz sleepin wen he wuz attacked by a crazy cat ... an i wuzzen't dere to tell him i wuz sorry ...
an den reeb wuz da daily diary pick an i missed dat, too. duhr.
i hav to say ... catster wuz da beginnin uv evreethin fer me ... an i shood never ferget dat. so i will keep up ... espeshullee wid mi bes frend in da werld!
da end.

5 raccoonz

dat'z rite! dere ar 5 raccoon babiez in mi backyard. i saw dem tonite ... frum a distance. dey ar small an kyoot ... and dey eet all da food mi dad leevz in da backyard fer dat introoder cat.
da end.
yer frend--jh

duck ... duck ...

hey ... i got two duckz in two poolz.
life iz grate.
da wether kinda cooled down heer in da grate state uv noo york ... on da island uv long.
maybe it wuz becuz i took two dipz ... an not jus one.
thankz reeb da grate an tailer.
i luv u.
jh

da sixth pikshur

hav u seen mi bes frend reeb da grate? he izza manly cat ... a manly cat indeed.
i hope dat u will go to hiz paje an take a look at hiz sixth pikshur.
duz it make u happy?
jus wunderin.
harharhar!
i luv u reeb.
luv--jh

commentin on pikshurz

i mite be slow ... but i diden't know dat u can comment on pikshurz. i ran arownd to sum uv mi frendz an commented away ...
but, sadly, i cooden't find da button to comment on miself. dat'z rite ... an i wooduv if i cooduv.
jus sayin.
i'm wunderin if dat iz even availabul on mi paje.
lemme know ... if yer reedin dis.
luv--yer frend--jh

i can't stop followin mi mom

u may or mayen't know dat mi mom went to vizit mi "hot babe gram" fer her 85th birfday. mom wuz away fer almos a week. i diden't like it one bit.
mi dad duzzen't know how to mash mi food.
i missed mi mom sayin "jeter puppy."
i wuz lost.
so now ... i can't stop followin mi mom. i'm afrade she'll leev me again.
evree time she goze into anudder room ... i havta go wid.
wen she goze owtside ... i havta go wid.
i luv mi mom.
i've lerned mi lessin an will not go on long walkabowtz becuz i know wut it feelz like.
luv--yer frend--jh

duhr

i wuz jus sayin to mi frend 'kaika ... i've gained sum wayt az uv late ... an i hav lost mi hansum teenage fizzeek.
dis iz disturbin to me.
i think i am catchin up wid mi bes frend reebok da grate.
i gess dat'z ok.
luv--yer frend--jh