The Coleman Chronicles

For the Record

May 5th 2007 9:08 am
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I'd like to go on record and tell you ALL that I am the king of all cats. My wicked owner brought home TWO more cats a few weeks ago. I shall kill them both in their sleep.

I'm protesting.

 

What the ?!?!?!

December 16th 2005 11:04 am
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Cole: What the heck is happening here? I smell another cat!!! Growl! Meow! Hiss! I smell her, where is she?!? Oh, you? Maggie? You couldn't possibly think there's room here for you. Get out of my way--and stay out, too! This is my house--let's get that straight!

Cole comes into the house to eat. He's pretty angry as I knew he would be. I tried to offer some new treats that I bought especially for him.

Cole: You're kidding me. You bought me new treats? Is this how you think you'll win me over? I didn't fall off the turnip truck last night, you know. You're trying to be nice to me so I'll be nice to the little twerp. No way!

Cole jumps off the kitchen table (where the cat food is--they're the only one's who eat there and the dogs can't reach it). He growls the entire way back to the front door. He wants back outside in a BAD way!

Cole: I'm going to go outside and potty. When I come back, she better be gone. Don't make me hurt her.

I open the door and see Cole off into the flower bed... flicking his tail the whole time...flick...flick...flick

 

It's a Spiderweb, I Swear!

October 30th 2005 9:30 pm
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Me: Hi Cole! Oh my, what's all over your face?

Cole: Who cares.

Me: Cole, come 'ere. Here kitty kitty.

Cole: Leave me alone.

I get up to see what he's gotten in to. Of course, being the friendliest cat in the world (not!) he runs. I finally corner him in my room.

Cole: They're spiderwebs!

Me: Did you get into another cat fight? That looks like orange cat hair!

Cole: Ummm. Nooooooooooo.

Me: I don't know if you realize this, but it's not your hair--you're not orange! Now, come here!

Cole: Nope. I'm tellin' you, they're spiderwebs!

He now attempts to use his paw to clear off the cat hair stuck in his whiskers from yet another cat fight.

Me: It's no use. It's inspection time!

Cole: What?!?!?!?! No, no, no! Not inspection time! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Inspection time happens anytime I think Cole has gotten into a cat fight outside. I check for cuts, bits, scraps, etc. He hates inspection time.

Me: Well, looks like you've cleared inspection. Let's hope you didn't do too much damage.

At this point, Cole won't look at me. He refuses to acknowledge that I'm his owner. I see him head down the hallway...flicking his tail back and forth.

Flick...

Flick...

Flick...

 

I'm the King of my "Cat"sle!

October 29th 2005 8:47 pm
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Let me first start by saying that I'm the king of the castle around here. Dogs are dumb, and I am smart. I rule this place. Don't let the Great Dane, Max, tell you otherwise. He's afraid of me--as he should be. I'm the king.

Today was a day like any other. I went outside for awhile and played with my friend Spike. Spike looks like me, but he's fat. I slept for about 10 hours on the little girls' bed. I like when she leaves her heating blanket on for me :)

The dogs did their best to avoid me. Max tried to sniff my butt on the way to the kitchen, but I turned around and taught him a lesson. Maybe he'll stay away for a few days.

...yawn...

Well, better head outside and pee in the flower bed, then it's off to sleep. See you later!

 
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