The Six Words You Can't Say on Catster

Many of you probably remember this bit by George Carlin. I'm going to quote him, except change the words to fit my diary entry:

I love words. I thank you for reading my words.
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
Words are all we have, really.
We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
that thought, so be careful with words.
I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.
There are some people that are not into all the words.
There are some that would have you not use certain words.
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 6
of them you can't say on Catster.
What a ratio that is. 399,994 to 6.
They must really be bad.
They'd have to be outrageous to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 6, Bad Words.
That's what they told us they were, remember?
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
and words.
You know the 6 don't you, that you can't say on Catster?
Fire, Verify, Help, Support, Money and Order.
Those are the heavy six. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
"Fire, Verify, Help, Support, Money and Order"
Wow! ...and Help doesn't even belong on the list.
That is such a friendly sounding word.

The Me Me Game

THE RULES
Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Cats who are tagged need to write about themselves (the seven random facts) as well as the rules in their diary. You need to select seven cats to tag and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment (via p-mail) telling them that they've been tagged and that they need to read your diary for more information. My family is going to play by altered rules and we are not going to tag other kitties. Mom was on vacation for a week and came home to a mail box full of 'tags'

MY SEVEN FACTS
1. I LOVE having my picture taken.
2. I have the best boyfriend in the whole world. Blade.
3. I have been known to pee on things to exert my dominance.
4. After my mom, I am the boss of my house.
5. I can open the sliding screen door. I've done this before and let all of my siblings outside.
6. I know how to operate all of the appliances in my house.
7. I am my mom's favorite. (she didn't tell me this, I'm just assuming)

Kitties I tagged:

I'm not tagging any other kitties.

OHMIGOD, I LOVE eating mice!

Since my family is raw fed and mom has been reading about this lady whose cats have gone bonkers over pinkys (baby mice), she thought that maybe we should try some. We were going to order some on line, but they came in bags of 100 and the shipping was out of this world!! So she discovered that PetsMart carries frozen mice (at about a million times higher than on line), so she stopped on the way home and got us a six pack of fuzzies. Of the five of us, only Busbee and I showed much interest in them. Busbee ate 1 1/2, Colby tossed his around a little, playing with it, Jack just sniffed his and licked it a few times, Buster, my old geezer brother, immediately recognized that it smelled similar to a chipmunk (which he's pretty sure he'd like to eat), but didn't want to have anything to do with it. At first, I wasn't real sure what to do with it! I tossed mine around for a while and then it came to me. This thing is for EATING!!! So I ate mine. Then I ate Colby's. Then I ate the 1/2 that Busbee didn't eat. Jack kept acting like he wanted one, sniffing the dishes they had been in, so mom gave him one and quickly discovered he wasn't really interested, just acting like he'd missed out on something. So I ate that one too...MOL!!! Then mom decided she wanted to take a little video of me, so she gave me the last one. She's still a little sick to her stomach over the whole ordeal (weakling!!!) and she said she's secretly (or not so secretly!) relieved that I'm the only one who really likes them. Sounds to me like that's her way of getting out of buying them for me, which I think REALLY SUCKS!! You hear me mom, that SUCKS!!!!!

My New Boyfriend

Not that I will EVER get over the true love of my life, Mr. B.B. King, but since he was adopted to his forever home and I am left all alone with my four brothers, I have to find a way to console myself.

Mom came home Saturday night carrying a cardboard box with holes in it. I've seen those things before and I know what is usually in them. I put on my best *stink eye*, pulled myself into my ready to spring stance, laid my ears back and waited for mom to open the box so I could start growling like a mountain lion and hissing like there was no tomorrow.

She reached into the box and what she pulled out was not at all what I had expected. This was like no other cat I've ever seen. So I have a new boyfriend. His name is Rusty Cheddar McOrangebottom and he's a very handsome orange tabby with white feet and a white mouth. He's a man of even fewer words than Busbee. In fact, he says NOTHING. That's right ladies, NOTHING! Mostly he just sits around smiling and looking cute. I can talk to him all day long and his listens with the same smile on his face. I can cuddle him for as long as I want to cuddle and he never moves, never tries to bite me or slap me. He sits perfectly still when I groom him, I don't even have to slap him down to show him who's boss.

I'm not all that crazy about the fact that he wears clothes AND slippers, but I think that I can come to terms with that. After all, the dog wears clothes and he's OK, mostly.

So ladies, take a look at him and tell me. Do you think I might possibly have found the perfect man???

Song for My Friend Miss Danger Cat

I was SO writing this song for my friend, Emmagan, before we even read her and her brother's diaries and their poems about Jack!

I feel like I have been up-staged but I am going to post this anyway because I am Lucy and I do things my way, always!

This is to the tune of "Spider Man"

I call this next number Miss Danger Cat...OK band, hit it!

Danger Cat, Danger Cat
Pretty little Miss Danger Cat
Can she swing from a blind
Bite the snake on her behind
Look out
Here comes Miss Danger Cat

Is she smart, that's a DUH
Leaves most kitty cats sayin’, HUH?
Can she kick Luci’s butt
Maybe not but she drives him nuts
Hey there
There goes Miss Danger Cat

In the still of the night
Through the dark she will climb
With keen cat girl sight
She can spin on a dime

Danger Cat, Danger Cat
Pretty little Miss Danger Cat
Ninja cat, with a sword
Nun-chucks are her reward
For Mog-a-meister, life’s a crack up
She don’t need no help or back up
She’s our Miss Danger Cat

Ode to My Boyfriend, Mr. B.B. King

I had a boyfriend for a little while. His name is Mr. B.B. King and he was the most handsome medium haired black kitty you've ever seen in your life...beautiful green/yellow eyes, big fluffy tail, pretty white teeth, the whole nine yards. And a wonderful personality to boot! He lived in our yard and mom would leave the back door open so we could all visit with each other through the screen. I loved him SO MUCH that I just wanted to get outside so that we could run and play together. I was tortured!!! I thought about him all the time...all day, all night and I dreamed of running and chasing butterflies with him. So I plotted and planned and I learned how to open the screen door so I could get ouside to B.B. We had a really nice evening together running and playing, but I knew that mom was really worried about me being outside. She's always told me how dangerous it is for kitties out there. When she kept shaking the treat bag and calling me so desparately, I knew I had to go back to the house. It pained me to leave the side of my beloved, but I knew I had to do what was right. It was shortly after that when B.B. went to the vet and had his hoo-hoos taken out. He was still devastatingly handsome, but he didn't smell the same to me after that. He didn't smell all wild and manly anymore, he smelled just like my brothers. Mom started bringing him in the house when it was rainy and when it started getting cold, and that was fun - we got to hang out together and sometimes we'd cuddle and play chase. I was happy to have him inside where it was safe, dry and warm, even if it was only at night. But then the best thing happened. He got adopted, with the kitten, Ginger Baker. I miss them both very much, but they went to a good home and I'm happy about that. Every kitty deserves a good home where they are loved and can be safe, warm and dry! I still love you Mr. B.B. King, handsomest black kitty in the world, and I will never forget our time together.

My Beautiful New Bandana!

Look at my last picture and see my beautiful new bandana!! It has dolphins on it and I think it's possibly the coolest thing ever. It makes me feel really pretty when I wear it. I don't like collars and I've managed to chew up several of them - I've even chewed my name tag until you can barely read my address and phone number! I know how the collars work and I tried to chew up the plastic part that fastens it together, but I couldn't chew it enough to break it. So you know what I did? I got my collar off and I got the DOG to chew it for me. I told him right where to chew it and BAM, he did a great job of rendering it useless...hahaha! For some reason I just cant stand those things around my neck, but this bandana is different - it's SPECIAL! It's like a magic Lucy bandana that gives me super powers. Maybe the dolphins are giving me some of their magical powers, I don't know, but it's mine and I love it!!! It turns me into Lucy, Pee Headed Cat of the Universe!!!

That Stinkin' Little Kitten!

Mom continues to force me to spend time with that kitten, Ginger Baker. Yeah, he's cute and all, but I've seen lots of cute kittens in my day, and taken care of all of them. Head licks, butt licks, the whole nine yards. As a matter of fact, I tried to smack Jack down the other day for a head lick but he's such a sissy that it scared him. I growled and told him to get out of my window perch, then! I'm telling you, it's a tough job being the only girl in this house. I mean, other than mom, but I have to be in charge whenever she's not in the same room with me. These boys don't know how to act if there isn't a girl telling them what to do...sheesh!

Anyway, no matter how much I growl and hiss at this kitten, he never goes very far and he doesn't even try to hide. I think I might be losing my mojo or something, because he'll just lie there and look at me like he loves me. It's the craziest thing. So I decided to try some reverse psychology on him. I let him get closer to me, even let him help me bat the fuzzy mouse around. Then mom brought out the Turbo Scratcher. I haven't seen that in AGES because the stinkin' dog learned how to get the ball out and would run off with it every chance he got, so mom put it away. Anyway, he seemed confused about how it works so I showed him and we played it together for a while. Then later mom put him up on the bed with me and asked if I wanted to lick his butt. Well, of course I did, as long as he didn't look at me. I even gave him some head licks, which seemed to make him happy. So this morning I decided I'd be hissy and growly again. I don't him to get too comfortable with any given situation!

Pony's Clothes

Look at me...I'm on Pony's precious, precious clothes. I wonder what he'd do if I pee'd on them? That would certainly show him who's the boss, wouldn't it? I'll tell you, sometimes I get so tired of seeing him get dressed up, I could vomit! Mom sees the way I look and thinks that I want to be dressed too. I can tell you right now, I don't care AT ALL for that! Can you believe that crazy woman had the nerve to dress me in an Elvis Halloween costume? Thank GOD she didn't have the camera close by. Really, though, it only took me about six seconds to get out of that silly outfit. I am still having a difficult time coming to terms witht the fact that she had no more respect than that for my authority! Maybe I'll pee on her pillows, again, that'll give her an indication of how I'm feeling!