Catster

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The Philosophical Musings of the Empress

Cat Should always be Bi Lingual

To make my life easier I was forced to become bilingual. I had to learn to speak English. Yet, it was simple to master. I only needed two words: "Now" and "Mine".... these two words made all things happen in my favor. The cat food can would be opened on command. My litter box would become clean. Yes, my child. These are the only two words that a cat needs to know.

Reincarnation According to Eleanore

Being a pampered housecat is one step from Nirvana. You ask, why is not a human being at the pinnacle? Eleanore stated this: My child, humans have evolved opposable thumbs.

And what is this for? To which she replied, Why, it is to open cans of cat food. Cats have never needed opposable thumbs, but yet benefit from the skill of the human, a lesser being.

Introduction

These diaries contain excerpts from manuscripts located under the bed, written to record Her Royal Highness Empress of the Universe Eleanore's Accumulated Wisdom.