Mrow am in charge

Mrow likes the hu-mom only when she is tired or asleep. When she is fully alert, she pets me too fast and makes too much noise. When she is sick or in pain, she is much more sedate and pets me much more nicely. Recently Mrow've figured out that when she's sleeping she is also good for some nice slow petting. Last night Mrow saw just how far Mrow could get her to go.

Mrow was sleeping on the bed next to her, and mrow wasn't comfortable. It was too chilly, and I didn't have the neck support mrow needed. So mrow went over to mom, whom I like to sleep on, and tried to snuggle up. Only she wasn't on her back like I like her to be (Mrow likes to lay on mom's chest). So Mrow figured out that if mom would only move her arm out some more, and get mrow to stroke my head, I would be ever so comfy.

Luckily after about 10-15 minutes of bothering her, mom finally got in the right position and petted me how I liked. Mrow had a nice sleep, Mrow will have to do this again!

Feline Wishes and Caviar Dreams-- or ACK! They didn't try to kill me?

About a week and a half ago the humans forced me into my cat carrier, and Big Fat Stupid Cat Saleen into his-- I thought maybe it was them trying to kill me again, but we got in the car and drove to a new boarding facility called Feline Wishes and Caviar Dreams. I was totally prepared to hate this place, and at first expected them to try to kill me all the time like at our previous boarding facility (where they gave me food I was allergic to so all my hair fell out and then they didn't keep the food I could eat frozen so it went rancid, plus I got a few flea bites! I don't know how I got out of there alive!).

They put Fat Cat and I into a large room (3x6 feet on the floor and 8 ft tall) and I immediately went and hid in a small hidey hole in the corner. I was sure we were in for it, but Stupid Fat Cat was excited about exploring the new jungle gym. After our humans left, these other humans would come in and feed us, play with us and take care of us. I didn't trust them at first, I mean with my record of everyone and everything trying to kill me all the time I have to be cautious! But pretty soon I realized these were nice people, and that I actually liked our little room! My favorite part of the room was a high up alcove where I could sit and watch passing humans below without them knowing I was there. Hah! Try to attack me now, world!

And best of all, there were no problems with our food! It was kept nicely frozen and thawed before we were to eat it. And the people there seemed to be interested in how we ate and everything. After we had been there a while, I had just about decided that I would make this my new permanent home! After all I had a prefect hidden lookout spot, good food and attention, and no dog sister hogging up the humans time. But then the humans had to go and ruin it!

They arrived and I knew bad things were going to happen. Mom picked me up and I started meowing my displeasure as much as possible! So she put me back down and tried again in a few minutes and I fought fought fought to not have to go into my little box! If I had claws mom would have been seriously damaged I'm telling you (note, mom and dad didn't have my claws removed, it was a previous family that was trying to kill me!). I meowed morosely the entire time home-- I was meowing even more and sadder sounding than when they were taking me out to the boarding facility in the first place!

When I got home, the first thing I did was hide under the bed and make sure I was still alive. I had to check myself all over after the torture of being held and put into the carrier and taken away from the place I thought I wanted to stay! Luckily, though, I realized that there are some advantages to being at home-- like warm humans to lay on and laps to sit in all the time. So what if the humans are working on the computer? They should be petting me! Oh, but not too much petting!

The chicken toss... or: ACK! I was secretly filmed!

Usually I get my privacy at dinner time, which is what I really enjoy. I have the bathroom all to myself and the humans make sure to shut the door so I'm not bothered. They never could figure out why so much of the bathroom (including the walls!) had to be cleaned after every meal, though...

Recently they've been feeding us cats chicken drumsticks and they also started leaving the bathroom door open which I was not quite sure about. I knew they'd catch on to my secret eating techinique which involves tossing the food across the room. The first time I did it when the humans were in the room with me they didn't know what to think! Then when I did it again they started laughing-- at me! How dare they! They also started saying something about videotape but I vowed not to let that happen. After all, what girl wants videos of them eating online (well, except my dog sister Sabrina!).

Anyway, a few nights ago mom was acting kind of funny across the room while I was eating. She was holding up a small black object the looked like a videocamera, but she wasn't looking through the viewfinder. She was also often looking the opposite direction of me and she was really far away, so I figured she couldn't be videotaping me. Little did I know she was secretly videotaping me! The nerve! And now I find out that she's posted that video here on catster! I'll never recover, I'll have to hide forever because now everyone really will be out to get me! Ack!

Just call me heating pad...

Well, the humom has done it again. Lately the humom gets very very sick and has to stay home from work, which is good for me. See, normally the humom is a little bit too active for me. She likes to torture me by doing things like hugging, kissing and trying to pet me too much. But when she is feeling sick she doesn't have so much energy and I like her much better.

I've found out that when she's feeling sick she often needs some extra warmpth, so I like to come and sleep on her chest and tummy. She seems to like it and we often fall asleep together, which is really nice because I can be sure that she won't try to attack me while she's sleeping! She says I am her heating pad, whatever that is.

Just because mom's sick, though, doesn't mean I can't get freaked out! I think it's especially fun to dig my claws into her and jump away suddenly when there are loud noises outside (or inside my head!). After all, she needs some excitement in her life in addition to all the warmpth and calm I provide! Hmmm, is that the mailman I hear coming?! Kick mom in the stomach and run away! Ack!

They think I'm a pincushion!

Saturday was such a horrible day-- I was pracitcally killed! It all started when mom and dad chased me around the house and forced me into my cat carrier. The stress of that was almost too much for me! They didn't chase Saleen around, so I was all alone! They put the carrier in the car and drove off-- I complained the entire time I was in the car! I gave them a piece of my mind!

We drove a long way, then stopped and got out of the car. We went inside a building that smelled like other animals and bleach, meaning it was a vets office (http://www.creaturecomfort.com/)! Well, you know how vets always try to kill me, so I was not happy about that! I started meowing even harder.

We had to wait in the waiting room forever, and I was practically mauled by dogs (well OK, they looked at me, but they looked at me in a mean way!). Finally they showed us to the exam room and the vet tech tried to get me out of my carrier. I said no way and held on for dear life! I gave that tech a run for her money, but eventually mom picked up my carrier and shook it so that I fell out. Even though I was almost killed by the huge drop (well OK, it was a few inches) mom picked me up and put me onto this cold metal scale. I did not want to be there!

When I finally settled down on the scale and figured it was an OK place to hang out, the vet tech said they were done with the scale and then they took me off of it! Go figure, humans can never make up their minds!

Next the vet came in, and she seemed like an OK person. Vets usually try to kill me, so I was very suspicious of this person. However she just stood there and pet me for about a half an hour while talking with the humans about me. I got to kind of like the vet, but it was sooooo embarrasing what the humans were telling the vet! THey told her all about my eating, peeing and pooping habits, how I lick my back when I get stressed and how I hallucinate that things are chasing me and attack the red chair sometimes. I was pretty mad at them for telling the vet all that stuff, but the vet seemed interested and even wrote down their nicknames for me (freakazoid, zoid).

Just when I thought the vet lady was going to turn out to be nice, she started talking about cheeese and wind and blood deficiencies and examining me. For some reason she was very interested in my tongue, so I tried to bite her. This must have made her pretty mad, though, because the next thing I knew she got out this box of needles and started sticking them into me! She stuck them all in my head and along my back and some in my arms and other areas! Then she left the room for 15 whole minutes! I was not too happy about this, because I am a cat and not a pincushion!

During the 15 minutes, there were some strange feelings going on in my body. I did not want my parents to pet me and I was kind of freaked out by the whole thing. I did manage to get a couple of the pins out, but I stayed fairly calm.

When the torture time was over, the vet came back and took the pins out. That's when I started to feel really really good... all the sudden I felt really relaxed and happy and I even started purring! The vet stayed and petted me for another 15 minutes and talked with the humans about medicines, but I was so relaxed that I didn't care! However, my bliss was soon to end. Just when I had decided this vets office was a nice place and I wanted to stay, it was time to leave! Mom and dad got out the carrier and I refused to go in! I wanted to stay here at the vets office! But they finally wrangled me in, even though I complained very very loudly about it! Once I was in the carrier, I calmed down very quickly and didn't make any noise at all while they were paying.

When we got back home, I felt pretty relaxed. That is, until dinner time and they chased me down and shot some nasty medicne down my throat (well OK, it is tuna flavored so it's not horrible). I have to get poisened twice a day, which is just horrible! I hear, though, that I get to go back and get more needles in 4-6 weeks, so I am secrely looking foward to that!

I guess it's not so bad...

But I still think they're trying to kill me!

It's this food business. A few months ago the humans changed my food! I thought they were trying to poisin me with the new raw food, but they kept mixing a teeny bit of it in with my regular kibble and I finally got used to it. I thought I was done with food changes when they saw I was actually eating (and enjoying-- but don't let them know!) my skinless boneless raw meat, but no! Next they left bits of grody skin on! Ewwww! Well, eventually I got used to those, too... so I'll eat chicken skin and try to eat the pork skin even though it's very hard.

The next thing I knew they tried this stuff called liver. The texture is just horrible! Let me tell you, this is not a fun texture for a food! Still, I tried it a few times and eventually figured out it wasn't going to kill me. Now their latest thing is these pieces of hard stuff called bone in my food. I tried to tell them that I don't eat hard stuff anymore, I only eat raw meat, but did they listen? No! So here I am with hard bones in my food. I plan to never ever eat bones ever in my lifetime!

Other than the bones, though, things are going OK with the food. I think I'm actually feeling a wee bit calmer, which is pretty wierd! I almost don't know what to do with myself since I'm not freaking out all the time anymore! I guess it's time to find a new hobby...

Wait, what was that noise?! Run and Hide! Quick!

Raw food-- yuck!

Well, my big fat stupid cat of a brother has really lost it now. A few weeks ago the humans tried giving us some really wierd stuff instead of our proper kibble. It was squishy and not in small round pieces and well, I just didn't know what to do with it. It is disgusting, let me tell you! I treid to tell them I am not a savage and I want my proper kibble, but they are hearing none of it.

First they started putting some sort of yucky raw chicken juice on my kibble. Gross! After a while I got used to it, but I still think it's disgusting!

Then they started putting small pieces of raw meat in my kibble dish! It's actually TOUCHING the kibble! I refused to eat at first, but gave in eventually. THey keep giving me more and more of the gross raw stuff, though, and I just don't knwo what I'm going to do about it! I think they're trying to kill me-- maybe poisin me or something?! Anyway, I'm eating about half un-food and half kibble right now, but I really hope they come to their senses and switch me back to kibble soon!

Time to run under the bed and hide-- they're out to get me!

Do you know?

Dear diary,

They're out to get me! Do you know who? I don't... Must feign indifference now by licking my butt. Ahhh, stretch that leg behind my head. Now run away! No the other way! Wait, the first way was better!

Did you see them? They almost got me that time.

Sincerely,

Willow