July 9th 2007 6:24 pm
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July 5, 2007, a day that will live in infamy. It was my last day on earth, it was the last I was ever going to be able to spend with mom, it was the day that lung cancer won the battle.
I have had lung cancer for a long time, I didn't know what was the matter, and I never told mom that anything was wrong with me. Mom had enough to worry about with me being a Sugarkitty (diabetic), mom hometested me everyday for the last 3 years. Mom would give me my insulin depending on what reading she would get when she poked my ear. Over the last 3 years both mom and I had a rough time with my diabetes, it took a long time to get me regulated and on a sliding scale with my dosage. I had to do some changes too. I use to always eat dry food (my crunchies) I loved it, but mom said that it had too many carbs and that was bad for me. While I didn't mind eating the Fancy Feast I missed my crunchies. To make mom happy I gave up my favorite thing to eat.
When I got to this strange place called 'Over the Rainbow Bridge' I was happy to see my kitty sister Autumn, she left the family a long time ago and there was my doggy sister Girl. As I walked through a huge gate I was greeted by many kitties and doggies there was, Gato, Chelsea, Bill, Angel, Clyde, Snipper, Princess, Billy, Squeak, Bear Dog, Tiffy, Buddy, Muffy, Blue, Bono, Kassie, Fancy Pants, Mr Penny, Miss Kitty, Bonita, Velcro, Chico, Bandit, Fred, Sammy, Honey and some that I don't remember their names. I felt lots of love and for a little while I was so happy.
And then it hit me, mom, where was mom, I looked everywhere and I couldn't find her. It wasn't like mom not to be there. Autumn took me by the paw, sat me down and told me that I was in a place where I no longer had lung cancer, or diabetes, I could eat all the crunchies I wanted, I could do anything I wanted except, mom was not with us and wouldn't be coming, not for a long time. But we would be with mom again one day. I wasn't sure of anything, I was feeling better than I had in a long time, I was happy to see Autumn but mom, I missed my mom, I knew mom would be missing me. I knew mom would be crying, I knew mom would be hurting, I knew mom would be lost without me. How was she going to sleep without me in her arms? How was she going to get through her days without by her side? I don't have the answer to any of these questions.
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