Missing Mom

July 5, 2007, a day that will live in infamy. It was my last day on earth, it was the last I was ever going to be able to spend with mom, it was the day that lung cancer won the battle.

I have had lung cancer for a long time, I didn't know what was the matter, and I never told mom that anything was wrong with me. Mom had enough to worry about with me being a Sugarkitty (diabetic), mom hometested me everyday for the last 3 years. Mom would give me my insulin depending on what reading she would get when she poked my ear. Over the last 3 years both mom and I had a rough time with my diabetes, it took a long time to get me regulated and on a sliding scale with my dosage. I had to do some changes too. I use to always eat dry food (my crunchies) I loved it, but mom said that it had too many carbs and that was bad for me. While I didn't mind eating the Fancy Feast I missed my crunchies. To make mom happy I gave up my favorite thing to eat.

When I got to this strange place called 'Over the Rainbow Bridge' I was happy to see my kitty sister Autumn, she left the family a long time ago and there was my doggy sister Girl. As I walked through a huge gate I was greeted by many kitties and doggies there was, Gato, Chelsea, Bill, Angel, Clyde, Snipper, Princess, Billy, Squeak, Bear Dog, Tiffy, Buddy, Muffy, Blue, Bono, Kassie, Fancy Pants, Mr Penny, Miss Kitty, Bonita, Velcro, Chico, Bandit, Fred, Sammy, Honey and some that I don't remember their names. I felt lots of love and for a little while I was so happy.

And then it hit me, mom, where was mom, I looked everywhere and I couldn't find her. It wasn't like mom not to be there. Autumn took me by the paw, sat me down and told me that I was in a place where I no longer had lung cancer, or diabetes, I could eat all the crunchies I wanted, I could do anything I wanted except, mom was not with us and wouldn't be coming, not for a long time. But we would be with mom again one day. I wasn't sure of anything, I was feeling better than I had in a long time, I was happy to see Autumn but mom, I missed my mom, I knew mom would be missing me. I knew mom would be crying, I knew mom would be hurting, I knew mom would be lost without me. How was she going to sleep without me in her arms? How was she going to get through her days without by her side? I don't have the answer to any of these questions.

Sad days

Lately everyday has been a sad day, my little friend Autumn got real sick and had to be taken to the hospital, she was gone for a long time and then one day my buddy kept crying and crying. All of us furry kids were told that Autumn wouldn't be coming home anymore, all I know is that by buddy said that Autumn's cancer was not good and that she crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge.

About my girlfriend

I want to tell you about my girlfriend, her name is Mittsi and she is my darling. She lives in a state called Oregon and from what my buddy tells me that is a long way away from where I live in Tennessee. My darling Mittsi is a tortie, and a polydactyl, which means she has a bunch of toes and she is amazing. I met my love on the Feline Diabetes Message Board and she is not a sugar kittie like me, but her brother Dude is. My Mittsi is a Florence Nightengale, she does get well dances for all the sick kitties, and her dances have healing powers, I know this because she dances for me and I am always feeling good now that she is my darling one. Even though she dances for other kitties I know that her heart belongs to only me.

Everytime my buddy writes to Mittsi's mom I get a chance to write her, and sometimes I have even figured out how to write all by myself. When I see pictures of my darling Mittsi I get the chance to give her nose kisses and I know that she feels them all.

It's been a long time

It sure has been a long time since I started this diary. My buddy doesn't turn this pooter on everyday, and even when she does I don't always get the chance to move her out of the way so that I can say a few things.

I have been feeling real good lately, I hear my buddy say that my numbers (I don't have the slightest idea what they are) are doing good, all I know is that I am feeling like the "little devil" that I have always felt like.

I have not been able to go out on the porch much the past 2 weeks, my buddy says that it's too hot, I don't mind it being hot, but still she won't let me out. I miss being close to the flying things, some of them have such pretty colors, I really miss seeing the creatures with the big ears that hop around. When I see them I close my eyes and picture myself (with my Mittsi, I'll tell you about her another time) chasing them away.

There's not too much happening in my life right now, I just wanted to add some more to my diary, so until next time or until something happens, if you are reading this hello.

How Sweet I Am

Back in November of 2004, my buddy Susan discovered that the rug was wet, it was later found that I was the culprit that was making the rug wet. She also found out that I was drinking a lot of water and peeing all the time. On her birthday, 12/15 she (my buddy) put me in a strange thing and took me out into the world. My buddy, me in the strange thing got into what I later learned to be a car, and was taken to that man that always examines me. Some other person came and took me away from my buddy, and they stuck a sharp thing in my neck, I didn't like that a all. After getting stuck I was taking back to my buddy. I heard that man (my vet) say that my glucose level was 417 and that my buddy was going to have to change my food to see if it would come down. I had no idea what they were talking about, and for some reason I didn't think I was going to like what was going to happen next.

Let me go back a bit, I love to lay around and eat my crunchies (dry food), and what I mean is I love to eat a little bit here and there, off and on all day and night. After the ordeal of the strange thing and seeing my vet, my buddy changed the crunchies that I loved, the kind of stuff I was subjected too didn't taste too bad but it wasn't what I really wanted. My buddy told me that she was changing my food to help my sugar go down.

Well, in January I was put in that strange thing again, and my buddy and I got in that car and visited my vet. I have to tell you right now, I was not a happy cat. When we got to that place a stranger took me and once again they stuck me with a sharp thing. When I was finally back with my buddy I heard my vet say that I was a diabetic (didn't know what they meant at that time). When I was finally home my buddy told me that I was going to have to have a shot every day, I thought what's a shot. The next morning I found out what a shot was, my buddy was sticking me with a sharp thing. I got mad at my buddy for doing such a thing to me, but I did listen to her when she told me that she was only doing it for my own good. I wonder how she would have felt getting stuck with a sharp thing every day. After a couple of weeks, by buddy sat me down and told me that she was going to be sticking my ear to draw blood, I really thought she was crazy and was curious to see what she was going to do next. I should have run away from home at that point because she got this little thing and stuck my ear with it, it did hurt but I got a treat afterwards.

It's been 7 months since I learned that I was diabetic, and I no longer wet the rug and I don't drink as much water. I get my ear stuck twice a day and right after I get stuck with another sharp thing in my body. I hate getting stuck , but I do feel so much better these days. My buddy tells me what my numbers (I found out this is my blood glucose level) are and she has been happy with what they are, and if she is happy I am happy, except that I am no longer able to lay around and crunch on my crunchies, I still get some but not as much as I would prefer.

I live in a place called Tennessee, with Autumn my little girlfriend who is a Tortie (could someone tell me what that is), Bo who is bigger than me, and there are 2 droolers here Girl & DJ (they don't bother any of us felines, cause they know better). My buddy's name is Susan and she takes care of all of us and in turn we love her as much as she loves us.