I now have an advice column!

It's been a while since my last entry, because I"ve been in discussions with Mommy about getting my own advice column. I figure, she's benefitted from my wisdom on countless occasions and it was high time to take it to the people.

I find that my fellow kitties have a lock on how to live life, most of the time. I mean we have our problems, knappy fur, flea and tick season, misbehaving bi-peds and pesky quadraped housemates. But by and large, humans have such a tough time getting through life without someone telling them what's what. I'm here for them. And you, too! Anyone who has a problem can some see me at my MySpace page. http://www.myspace.com/jakecolbacchini

As a side project, I'm also offering dream interpretations. So if you're having some funky dreams and need them straightened out for you, come by and I'll work them out for you.

Peace and tuna flavored kisses,

Miss Jake

Wow, what a week!

Lots of activity around the apartment complex last week. They put a new step in the the stairs, so there were lots of workmen wandering around. Finally, a good show! Haha.

Mommy's birthday is today, so that meant she was out a lot and has been coming home with armloads of fun new stuff. I understand my Auntie Michi is sending me something fun from the UK! I can't wait! I wish it was a show where other kittes spoke to me in british accents. That'd be super fun.

My birthday's coming up. Wonder what Mommy's going to get for me. She got an Eagles of Deathmetal CD that she keeps going on about, but I don't know why she likes Eagles so much. They're screechy. I'm hoping she gets me something better than that. Like... a cat tree or something fun that I can play in. We'll see.

Yesterday was really nice. Mommy decided to "powder down", but I call that sleepin' lots. It was fun. I got to cuddle with her all day long. She drools when she's that tired. That makes me laugh! HAhaha.

Anyway, I hope all my kitty friends had an awesome weekend.

What a boring weekend!

Hey puddin's! My weekend was super boring. Mostly just laid around the apartment wondering where Mommy had gone. I was kinda mad when she got up so early on a Saturday (which isn't really like her to do), because I knew that meant she was leaving. Dang it! She was gone from morning til the next morning. At least I know she was with Auntie Kari and not getting into trouble.

When she got home, I could smell my cousin Bubbles (a big doggy from what Mommy tells me) all over her. Made me feel a little jealous that she was off playing with someone else. And on top of that, there was another doggy named Jessco (he lives with Uncle Icky and Auntie Steph) and there were other kitty smells as well. Niblet, Egger and Squishy. I hope some day Icky and Steph come visit me. Mommy sure likes them, so I bet I would too.

Anyway, I'm tired from all the extra sleeping. Hope all you kitties had a good weekend.

Jakey

Peekaboo!

Last night was a strange night. Mommy got home late, which normally upsets me, but she was in a pretty good mood so I let her have her moment. I made sure to give her all kinds of kitty lovin' when she was typing at her TV thing, and then quietly informed her that she was up well past her bedtime. She assured me that there would only be a couple more "eeemales" and then she'd go to bed.

It was about that time that Uncle Icky called. The talk long times, so I knew Mommy was going to be up late. I tried to show my displeasure by getting into a basket she's always shooing me out of. But she didn't get it, and just got peevish with me.

When she hung up the phone at 4 AM, she was sad. She and Uncle Icky musta had a really hard talk. But he's good to her, so it musta been something she needed to talk about. She turned off the light, and snuggled up as she sniffled and called for me. She could hear me rustling in some bags she has on her bedroom floor, which I do when I'm not sure what the mood is in the room. But as soon as she fell asleep, I climbed up on the bed and made a cozy spot on her tummy. She woke up and told me how much she loves me and said thank you for the lovin's. She's good about thanking me for stuff.

When we got up in the morning, Mommy gave me a big hug and lots of kisses on my head. I said, "You're pretty swell, too, Mommy," and headed for my window. They just planted new begonias outside and I wanted to check out their progress.

*yawwwwwnnnn* it was a late night. Have a good weekend kitty pals!

Purr,
Jake

Such a nice night

Last night Mommy came home at a decent hour (she says anything before 2AM is decent but I think after 7 PM and she's a bad girl!). That made me super happy. I showed her by zooming all over the apartment and giving her all kinds of kitty love. We watched a movie on the sofa, curled up in a blanket, and Mommy fell asleep cuddling with me. Gosh she's warm and cuddly.

When she woke up, I thought for sure she was going to type on her glowy tv thing, but instead, she said, "Okay puddin', let's go to bed." I was so happy! I ran into the bedroom so I could get my place before she got comfortable. She doesn't really see why this is necessary, and sometimes complains that I'm in the way, but I like things the way I like them... just like her. So I got into position and Mommy climbed in and we slept for a long time. She snores, but it's okay. I just toodle around the apartment or dig in the plants if it gets too much. But last night we slept and slept.

It was a very nice night.

Purr!
Jake

Another soggy day...

It's a good thing I'm an indoor human owner, or I'd be in a foul mood indeed, today. It's raining. And I'm happy that, unlike yesterday, all that horrible, nasty water's outside of Mommy's and my apartment.

One good thing, it's fun to watch all the drops on the windows. They get sparkly and I like sparkly. I like it when the mail lady comes dressed in a giant plastic bag. That makes me laugh.

It's my solemn, evil wish, that the evil stray who looks like my ex-sister Suki is getting drenched!!! Bwaahahahaa!!! She does things to provoke me in my window and I get really cranky and attack the window. Then I get all tangled up in the blinds. I think it's really noisy because Mommy yells my name REAL LOUD when that happens. But I guess I'm so upset I don't pay enough attention and she has to get out of bed to stop my attacking the window. Sometimes, I guess, I just forget that it's there and try to kick that bad kitty's butt. MOW! >:-< Maybe Mommy wouldn't get so upset if this wasn't happening at what she calls "the middul uv the effin nite". I'm not sure what an effin nite is. Maybe it's one of those pretty boys that runs around on Mommy's Lord of the Wings movies. We like watching them.

Okay, I have to take another nap before Mommy gets home from work. I hope she wants to crawl in with me. We like sleeping and that way I get to sleep on her, like I like.

Purrs and kittie kisses (or buttheads I guess you others call them)!

Jake

Today was wet!

Mommy went to bed super late last night, so I was a little worried to wake her up so early, but some time around six in the morning the kitchen got all wet and I couldn't get to my potty. The thing in the counter Mommy washes her dishes, with all that icky water, was overflowing. Gosh I hate water, so I ran into mommy's room and cried to her. But she was drowsily trying to figure out why her cell phone was suddenly shut off when she paid it on Friday and told me, "I dont' get it puddin', I made a payment and spent two hours getting the bill all straightened out. What's up with these people, huh?" I told her I didn't know. Lots of weird stuff happens to her. :-<

She came out to look at the big glowy thing she sits at that has a big picture of me on the screen (but isn't a TV, I don't think), and I guess she finally noticed that the kitchen was wet. She was kinda upset, but I suppose she's used to this sort of thing and didn't lose her cool. I like that about her and gave her some love on her legs to show her I was on her side.

She mopped up all the water so I could get to my potty, but I was afraid to go in there. I may not have mentioned this, but I really... I just... man oh man... I don't like water. So, I went and hid under her bed. That's where I go when I don't like what's going down in the apartment. Mommy calls it my Bedspring Sanctuary. I call it a good place to hide. :->

Finally, some one with a LA Dodgers hat came to rescue us from the watery kitchen death. GO DODGERS I shouted over my shoulder as I darted for the bedroom. I like the stay out of the way of strangers. I don't think he heard me, but he's probably sad he can't go to opening day at Dodger Stadium. I am too. I hope Mommy gets cable back soon so we can watch games together like Daddy and I used to. We love baseball.

Anyway, Dodger guy made a LOT OF NOISE, but Mommy was real happy about it. Usually she doesn't like a lot of noise so that's weird. She gets mad at the stand up bass player upstairs because she wants it quiet when she's at home, but I like his music. I know she does too. It's something she calls a "viernmint controwl thing". I don't know what that means, tho.

Dodger guy left, thank goodness. He talked really loud. That kinda scares me. But it's all good. I came out, the kitchen floor was dry and I got to my potty. I just wish it was warm so the apartment didn't smell like wet wood. :-<

Well, that was my big, exciting day. Hope all the other kitties out there had a nice, quiet day of curling up in their favorite place. I'm heading for my corner of bed and sleep off some of this excitement.

My first Diary Entry

Mommy was telling me today that Uncle Donaco told her that he’d wanted to get her a cat tree for her upcoming birthday. We think that’s hella funny, since Mommy never even uses a scratching post, much less a cat tree ( I think she might think her head is one, but that’s a whole other entry – the things I see that crazy woman do). Anyway, she said that when Uncle D told her that’s what he’d wanted to get for her that she said, “That would technically be a gift for Jake, not me! If you want to get her one for HER birthday, it’s May 7th and I’m sure she’d love one!” We had a good laugh. Uncle Donaco is a little silly sometimes. We find it hard to believe he’s in his forties sometimes. Mommy is still on the fence with him sometimes, but I like him fine for a guy.

I think Mommy’s planning to make me a cat tree, actually. I know she’s talking about making me a newer, prettier, plusher bed. She’s going to make things like that for her new business. We’re pretty excited about that, around here. Maybe she’ll get it done for my birthday. I’m hoping for something fuzzy like me. Maybe blue. Ooh the anticipation’s killin’ me!

She’s also talking about getting me a brother or sister. I think that’s a killer idea. I’m pretty lonely without Daddy. He may have been a bit of wanker to Mommy, but I loved having him around all day, every day. We took long naps together, curled up on the couch and watched TV together. It was my kind of gig. Mommy didn’t think he should have napped so much and was constantly crying whenever he brought up some girl named Kimi, so I guess she had to make him go away. I’m sad he’s gone but she’s much happier. At least he took that fleabag Meecha with him! She was MEAN! I can still smell her pee on things that we can’t seem to get it out of. I hope my new brother or sister is nicer that she was. GOSH!

* Yawn * Well, I guess that’s enough for today. I’m going to go curl up with my loving Mommy on the sofa and watch a movie. I like when she leans back so I can lie on her tummy and put my arm around her. She thinks it’s pretty sweet when I lay my head on her chest. She says she loves me so much sometimes that it makes her eyes all teary with joy. I’m not sure what that means, but I think she’s pretty great, too.