Little known feline ailments

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April 6th 2011 4:02 pm
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What a glorious day today. The sun has been shining and we have all been stretched out napping in sun beams.
Kringle won his competition, yay, well done Kringle.
There has been one damper on the day.....we have 2 little known feline ailments in the house and we thought we had better warn other people about them as there is no known cure.

BED-HOGGING

Symptoms: The cat spreads to take up all available free bed space at night. It then expands a bit more until any human occupants occupy the smallest possible area of bed. It may do this on top or underneath the covers or on the pillow. It is highly contagious -- any other cats on the bed will also develop symptoms of bed-hogging.

Treatment: The most obvious solution is to evict the cat from the bed. If this is morally unfeasible, train yourself not to give way as the cat expands. Buying a bigger bed is probably pointless as most affected cats can easily expand to fill standard, queen-sized and king-sized beds. Otherwise, simply train yourself to sleep while hanging precariously off the side of the bed. Attacks of bed-hogging have been known to last up to 23 hours (in one case a 3-day attack was noted by a cat-owner who was confined to bed with flu; the cat thoughtfully kept her company during this time).

GREEBLINGZ

Symptoms: Random dashes running helter-skelter through house in pursuit of unseen prey. Greeblingz are believed to be non-visible entities and some authorities have linked them to UFO sightings or feel that they may be diminutive other-dimensional beings. Cats suffering from greeblingz typically have wild-eyed expressions. There is a minor danger of greeblingz attaching themselves to humans; if a cat tackles such greeblingz, injury to humans may result. A very few cats are naturally immune.

Treatment: None known. Anti-epileptics are ineffective as the condition appears unrelated to other forms of seizure. Avoid getting in the way of a cat engaged in greebling hunting. Attacks usually subside spontaneously, perhaps as greeblingz return to their own dimension. These irritating creatures are not visible to human eyes, but no doubt the superior sight and hearing of cats enables them to see them.

Watch out for these ailments, they could happen to you!

Leave A Comment | 16 people already have

Purred by: Blizzard AKA The Catfather (Catster Member)

April 6th 2011 at 4:07 pm

Simba, have yous been spying in my house??? That be a normal days here!!!

Purred by: Simba (Catster Member)

April 6th 2011 at 4:11 pm

OMC,they are contagious, its worse than we thought!

Purred by: Nadia (Catster Member)

April 6th 2011 at 4:48 pm

I am afflicted with both of these ailments! Sometimes my bed-hogging syndrome will go into temporary remission when I get an attack of greeblingz, which often happens in the morning. But I also get greenblingz attacks spontaneously and randomly (which is probably due to the non-visible entities). I'm glad I'm not the only cat who has these feline ailments. Great info!

Purred by: Tink the Cat (Catster Member)

April 6th 2011 at 5:09 pm

OMC, my mommy FINALLY has a name for my chasing-imaginary-enemies!!!! She thought I was weird because I don't have imaginary friends!! Luv, Tink

Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

April 6th 2011 at 5:30 pm

I only chase Zoe, Zoe doesn't chases the dog and Diamond (the dog) hogs the bed. Mom and Dad already have a king size bed, so Mom says one more night of Diamond and Dad have her stuck in one position she's going to chase Diamond out of the bedroom!

Purred by: Lacey (Catster Member)

April 6th 2011 at 7:08 pm

Greeblingz! I get those and specially lately Finney and I both get the bed-hogging stuff. We've been squeeshing mommy pretty good too! MOL!

Purred by: Colette Sidonie-Samantha (Catster Member)

April 6th 2011 at 10:45 pm

Those two ailments have been infecting our house for years. MOL!

Can you imagine, Mom woke up one night from having the most awful dream. She was being crucified (cross and all)! Misha and B.A. had been pinning down her arms.

Headbonks...

Purred by: Sleeper (Catster Member)

April 7th 2011 at 5:51 am

Yeah, I like to pin Mama's arm down, too. She can't understand why it's necessary to actually LAY on the arm - wouldn't it be all lumpy and uncomfortable? When she asks me that, I just look into her eyes and purr and then nuzzle her nose. Anyway, Samhain and I both had a bed-hogging attack last night - unusual for her since if she's not sleeping with me, or is able to be in the Mama's lap, she generally prefers to sleep alone. I guess this means the infection HAS spread. OMC...

Purred by: Smokie Boo Dreamboat #104b (Catster Member)

April 7th 2011 at 6:42 am

And another...

ASB (Attention Seeking Behavior)
(Vocal type, extreme) This is where a cat constantly seeks the attention of a human by using it's vocalizations, usually at the most unconvienent time for the human. The Cat will Yowl, Go EWWWULLLLLL, or MEOW at the top of their lungs. Sometimes they will do this right on top of the couch from behind the humans shoulder, causing them to drop the book and cupo of tea they were holding. The cat will then either leap into the humans lap, or spring away to chase Greeblingz.

Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

April 7th 2011 at 8:52 am

Yup last night we squeeshed mom to pieces! After we weren't getting up off the bed she finally moved and said she was getting hot! MOL.

Purred by: Tiny Mighty MoeMoe~Dreamette # (Catster Member)

April 7th 2011 at 8:03 pm

Another kind of ASB ( I have it now) nuzzle and rub humans fingers to prevent them from doing anyting other than kitty luvin. If they make a move to walk away meow loudly and paw the air maybe even catch their arm or hand until they come back to love on kitty some more.

Purred by: ZEEKE dreamboat #40a (Catster Member)

April 8th 2011 at 7:43 am

MOL! MOL! MOL! We have those !!! Imagine sharing a bed with 8+ kitties afflicted with bed hogging! There are 17 of us here and the most of us in bed with meowmy at one time so far has been 8. She has a queen sized bed and I think we can't get more of us in there while we all have this bed hogging affliction. I'm thinking that perhaps more bed rest would be a good treatment. What do you think?

Loves,

Zeeke & the crew

Purred by: Carol Z

April 8th 2011 at 8:23 am

MOL, MOL Zeeke!

There were 10 in the bed and the little one said, "roll over, roll over." So they all rolled over and one fell out. There were 9 in the bed and the little one said, "roll over, roll over." So they all rolled over and one fell out. There were 8 in the bed and the little one said, "roll over, roll over." So they all rolled over ...

OR, if you prefer...

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, 99 Bottles of Beer

Headbonks...

Purred by: Gumpy Sweet Boy (Catster Member)

April 9th 2011 at 6:34 am

Since greeblingz are associated with UFOs, did you know there was a crop circle recently in the form of a cat??? I think it's related!
Yay for being a DDP!

Purred by: Zachery Tristan (Catster Member)

April 9th 2011 at 7:38 am

This is some funny stuff. Congrats on your DDP!