A Mysterious Proclamation

Good Day, Catfriends. It is I, Deter, Cat of the Ages. Let us dispense with formality, as I'm sure you've become aware of an alarming addition to our 'family' on the (stupid)Dogster side of the tracks. At least, Nero and I believe it is a stupid dog. Lest you be unduly concerned, We thought it best that you be briefed on the goings-on Chez Deter. Yes, it's a tragic turn of events. Yes, We are displeased beyond your wildest imaginings. We neither asked for, nor authorized such an abomination.

Yet, do not fear, dear Catfriends! What you are about to read should help to calm your worries.

It is tiny. The thing clunks about, unable to keep itself upright while taking corners at any kind of speed. It attemps to give chase, but lacking coordination and any sort of cranial activity, it does not pose much of a threat. It considers the short hop from the floor to the couch a feat of near magical skill. Any time it is found on the furniture, one may safely assume it was assisted by Mom or Dad.

Nero and I have decided to make a game of amazing Mom and Dad with our supernatural restraint. Nero has not raised a paw to the new stupid dog, and...(drum-roll please), neither have I. I, Deter, Queen of Pain, Bringer of the Fearsome Tempest of Deet, have gone no further than to voice my displeasure with an annoyed meow.

I shall now give you a moment to digest this improbable news. Take as long as you need. Okay. Moment over.

Mom and Dad are amazed that Nero and I seem to care so little about this new addition. I have not stopped helping Mom fall asleep every night (which is what I do when I am displeased with her), I have not cloistered myself away, and I have not withdrawn from social activities in the living room.

As for Nero, he has put up with being slobbered-upon, pawed, and nudged with a reeking puppy breath muzzle. Nero has even nuzzled at the puppy.

Why are we doing this? Why this bafflingly benign response to such an unwelcome change? Perhaps We have something dastardly up our fuzzy little sleeves? Perhaps our motives are pure? Perhaps. We'll never tell.

Imperially,
Isis, Queen of Every Realm.

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