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January 24th 2012 4:50 pm
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Hetty Miep: Hear ye, hear ye! Sally and Hilda, you may now report your findings.
Hilda: Sally and I are pretty sure that Samoa’s brothers didn’t hack into her account.
Hetty Miep: Nonsense! What about that Inky?
Hilda: He’s too busy riding his pony.
Sally: Yee haw! I want a pony!
Hetty Miep: Sally! Quit jumping on the couch! It’s not a pony. Now, what about Newman?
Sally: Nope! He’s too busy sucking on the Mrs.’s arm and working on his Poopology sequel.
Hilda: And Violet’s too busy being a pony.
Hetty Miep: *sighs* Well, what about Gleek?
Hilda: No way he’d dare hack into Samoa’s account.
*Hetty Miep lets loose a string of bad words. Hilda runs over and covers Sally’s ears with her paws.*
Hilda: Face it, Hetty Miep. Whether you like it or not, Artie and Jack are Dreamboats-in-Training.
January 23rd 2012 6:09 pm
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Oh brothers! It was bad enough when Samoa made Artie a Dreamboat-in-Training. I didn’t say too much other than point out that Artie shouldn’t get too excited because Samoa had obviously made a mistake. Then, she had to go and make Jack a Dreamboat-in-Training too!
This can’t be true. It has to be one of Samoa’s sneaky brothers hacking into her Caster account. It has to be.
Now my stupid brothers are trying to get my little sister Sally to throw them a “Congratulations on being Dreamboats-in-Training” party. Those boys have no shame!
This is going to require a full-scale investigation. I might have to deputize my sisters.
December 1st 2011 12:27 pm
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Friends, consider this both an S.O.S. and a warning about what happens when three adult cats are forced to live with two kittens and a very immature brother cat (That’s right, Artie, I’m looking at you!). These three menaces are known as the “lower three” of the house. Although it is obvious to me that “lower three” refers to their overall ranking in the house (in terms of quality and desirability), the humans insist that “lower three” refers to age alone.
These lower three are trouble. They like to run around the house in a gang of three, while scratching, chewing, and pouncing on whatever catches their attention. Artie is even teaching Sally how to chew on boxes!
The worst part is that my humans now only respond to a fraction of the mayhem. I overheard my female human confess to the male human that sometimes, when she’s really tired, she pretends not to see/hear what’s going on because that means she’ll have to get up and go through the motions of chastising the gang of three.
No, wait. That’s not the worst part. The worst part is the humans laugh at half of what the lower three are doing. Or they mention how cute they are.
It’s not fair! Where are the standards? These lower three are getting away with things that we “upper three” never got away with—not that the humans could really ever stop us if we wanted to, but STILL!
As usual, I can see that it all rests on my shoulders.
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