Why can't they just leave me alone?

I do love them. I promise I really do. But they just need to chill. I understand they don't have kids. I know Michele needs a snuggleishis, tribblesque creature like me to warm her heart. I know that I help Mark relax by my mere triple purr existense, but they just need to give me my alone time.

They are always picking me up, trying to keep me near them. Fine. Okay. We all want companionship. But if you are going to move me from an excellent place of comfort, then you are going to have to rub my belly for at least twenty five minutes. Anything less is unnacceptable!

Mark and Michele need to realize that they can pet me, they can feed me, they can take care of me, and play with me. But they need to understand that above all, I must be WORSHIPED.

Listen Kids, the Egyptians got it right. So step off and step up...to the divine altar of Simon!