Annals of an Outlaw Nonconformist Angel

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May 13th 2014 11:34 pm
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Here we are!

The party of KCK kitties arrives at the Fraser River Lodge, 18 acres of grounds with 2,000 feet of riverfront. While kitties are still buzzing about what to do first, the staff arrives to show everyone to their rooms.

My hubby O.J. & I and some of the other couples have booked honeymoon rooms with cast iron fireplaces and huge jetted tubs, most of us are in the deluxe rooms. Whichever room you’re in, the floors are tiled with fine Italian ceramic tiles which are heated through hot water radiant heat. This is sure going to feel nice on the paws first thing in the morning!

After getting settled in our rooms, we gather in the Lodge where we are offered a choice between poached sablefish and roasted venison. While eating, the kitties look around at the amazing view of Mount Cheam and ….. “did I just see …?” Rex says. “No, I couldn’t have, they don’t have ….” But he looks again and it is. A herd of buffalo, roaming in a fenced area along the river! Our server tells us that we can throw apples and grapes to them over the fence, and they don’t mind you watching them but do NOT climb the fence. Everyone turns to stare at Bugsy, who protests “Why are you all lookin’ at ME?”

Mugsy has seen this area before and he came prepared with his fishing gear. You’re gonna like this, Mugsy! We can fish in the river and for those who want something a little more challenging, keep watchin this space.

Kitties begin to explore and find that there is also a games room where we can play pool, two golf courses just minutes away, daily yoga classes, hiking, bird watching (don’t let the eagles grab ya!) and trips including a 1 day wilderness expedition, jet boating on the Fraser Canyon, and river rafting.

When we want to relax the resort has a spa where we can have pawdicures, reflexology, massage therapy, aromatherapy, hot stone massage and (O.J. likes this one) couples massage. What to do first?!


Happy Cinco de Mayo!

May 6th 2014 1:32 pm
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I’m late with that. I can SO read a calendar, blame my Mom. She got bogged down with trivial human issues. The NERVE!

Wow! I’m Kewlest Catster Kitties’ Cat of the Month for May, and guess who was one of the very first kitties to come say Congratulations? That’s right, Smiley Cassanova! Even though we learned later on that he was so badly sick in the vetspital at the time. My family hasn't been on Catster very long, but Smiley & Luigi were some of the first kitties we met outside of our group of Cat Channel transplants. Whenever any one of us had a DDP or any other special day, Smiley & Luigi were right there to celebrate.

Let’s all take our Mexican hats off to Smiley, what a guy!


Anyone up for adventure?

April 5th 2014 1:11 pm
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Today is Road Map Day so why don't we hit the open road and see where it takes us? We don't need no stinkin' GPS! Hey, you're holdin' the map upside down! Whew, I didn't think there was a lake in the middle of the freeway!

It's also Rubber Eraser Day, so .... hey .... WHO erased the route I mapped out on this road map?

Oh, this is gonna get REALLY interesting now! Bring your parka, your water wings and your Spanish dictionary, we could wind up anywhere! -- A. Mallow


It’s Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day

March 27th 2014 12:54 pm
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Yep, time once again to celebrate such classics as
♦ ‘Dixie Rose Deluxe’s Honky-Tonk, Feed Store, Gun Shop, Used Car, Beer, Bait, BBQ, Barber Shop, Laundromat’
♦ “May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose”
♦ “There Ain’t No Trash in My Trailer”
♦ “Flushed From the Bathroom of your Heart”

But since I’m an Angel, Management wants me to sing you one with a positive message, so here’s a real classic for ya,

♫ “Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

♫”Well, ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

♫ “All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it

♫ “Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to” ♫

~~ Happy toe-tappin’ thoughts from Angel Mallow


It's the first day of spring and I'm Diary of the Day!

March 21st 2014 11:29 am
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Well, yesterday was, so the calendar says, anyway. We love our friends in the East and we’ve got just the thing to cheer them up, we’re gonna sing to you! Ignoring the cries of “No! Anything but that!” Mallow blows a note on her pitch pipe and leads on:

“♫ Welcome sweet springtime, we greet thee in mittens,
Parkas and mukluks, shoveling our driveways ….
Dodging the hailstones and lightning we goooo
While far as the eye can see ...

♫ Gusty and near freezing breezes are blowing,
While cross the driveway the garbage can’s blowing
Ah, how my skin sprouts with goose bumps anew,
As gray skies and snowflakes again meet my view.

♫ Sing then, to Spring, raise your voices on hiiiiigh;
Watch out for that tree limb, gracefully falling.
Calendar says it and calendars don’t liiiii-e.
Some day this slush will melt! ♫

Thanks for making me Diary of the Day today!


Why My Humans Don't Replace Their FUR-niture Very Often

March 16th 2014 12:59 pm
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Some strange stuff went on here the other night and bein’ an Angel I was the only kitty who got to see it all. Here's what happened:

See, Mom & Dad had this ratty old couch they got at Value Village not realizing how gigantic it was. It took such a performance to get it into the house that they hung onto the thing after the springs started to go and Evie had scratched one of the arm rests down to the wood. They just kept saying "imagine ever trying to get it out of here".

Now, last week a friend who is moving offered to give them a used couch that's much better than the one they have and finally they had to do it. Big Bro Will & Becky's ex were going to get it Saturday, but then Friday night right after Mouse Hockey Becky's ex phoned to say that it would be better for him to get it now. So while he was on his way with his truck, Mom & Dad put the earth kitties in their rooms and Mom & Big Bro Will tried to get the old couch out of the house. The only possible way to do this involved stairs.

They got it down the stairs and when Becky’s ex arrived they had the monster couch standing on end at the bottom of the stairs figuring angles to get it around the bannister & out the door (and the thing on end is taller than the doorway, which is another story altogether). While the three of them were figuring, Dad (a man of action if not forethought!) went in the back room, grabbed the circular saw and started sawing away at the exposed underside.

Mom told him it wouldn't work. It didn't work. Then he got the jigsaw. Mom told him he'd break the blade. He broke the blade. Meanwhile the guys figured out what they needed to do and jockeyed the thing back UP the stairs to turn it around, and it worked. While they were gone picking up the new couch, Mom had to vacuum up all the sawdust .. along with the regular dust.

Mom & Dad just left the earth kitties in their rooms the whole time so they didn’t have to round them up again when the guys got back with the new couch. When the guys did get back, (the new couch is a sofa bed, I hafta add here), they got it off the truck and were about to take it through the front door. Mom was just opening her mouth to say "maybe you should turn it so the back rest is the lowest point rather than the highest because of the ..." and then CLANK! The bed started to unfold. They were saved from royal stuckness by the fact that they were moving the couch with slip cover still on and the slip cover slowed the bed part down enough that they caught it before it could unfold all the way.

So then the slip cover had to come off and they decided to go around the house and through the back sliding door. But when they tipped the couch to get through the doorway between the kitchen and the living room (the one the monster couch would no way fit through), the bed started to unfold again but they caught it when they first saw movement and all was well. The good news in all this is, if the pawrents ever have to unfold the bed the mechanism seems pretty smooth, not like those nasty ones you get a hernia trying to pull out.

Mom spent the next 45 minutes or so trying to figure out how to get the slip cover back on. And finally Mike, Evie & Mojo got to come out of their rooms. They went crazy sniffing all over the new couch, and all the spots where the old one was dragged, and all the spots where stuff was moved to make room while it was coming in ... well, Mike & Mojo sniffed around forever while Evie cuddled up on the new couch with Big Bro Will happy as anything. All is well now, both Mike & Evie have given it their seal of approval. Mojo remains suspicious. =^00^=


It’s Inconvenience Yourself Day!

February 22nd 2014 11:20 am
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In order to celebrate, last night I put my alarm clock in the bathroom and locked the door. When it went off this morning not only did I have to pick the lock with a knitting needle (which I had to find first, it’s not like I knit or anything!) to get to the (ahem!) facilities, the stupid alarm was playing “Who Let the Dogs Out? Woof, woof woof woof woof!” full blast the whole time!

Right now I’m unthawing my Harley key, which I froze in a block of ice last night before retiring. I wonder if I’ll make it through the Hairballz rides because I just finished siphoning about 4 gallons of gas from my 5 gallon tank. Yuck! Ptoooie! And of course, just for today I won’t be carrying either a jerry can OR my wallet with me! Do I know how to celebrate or what?!

Then I’ll finish out the day at home watching the Olympics! Of course, because it’s Inconvenience Yourself Day, last night I asked Evie to hide the remote so every time I want to flip the channel I have to get up and do it the cavecat way! I will then finish out this very special day by climbing into my cozy soft bed, which of course I inconveniently short-sheeted when I made it this morning.

How are YOU going to celebrate?


We won Bronze!

February 21st 2014 8:32 pm
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A group of us kitties have been making the most of the last days of Cat Channel by participating in the Olympics. We formed curling teams and would you believe all three kitty teams won medals?

Team Mallow represented Sweden and consisted of myself and friends Kieara, Gracie Twinkletoes and Kiska. We got beaten out for the Gold game by Team Mike (made up of our brothers, talk about sibling rivalry!) and Team Steve, but we had a real blast anyway. I think I'm gonna go walk around Sochi for a while now, wearin' my medal. Form an orderly line, no autographs, please.


It's Fruitcake Toss Day!

January 3rd 2014 10:20 am
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As some of you may remember, I have been known on Cat Channel for my seasonal specialty treat, Liver Fruitcake. And as some of you may also remember I made WAY too many last year and so inaugurated the First Annual CC Fruitcake Toss Day. This year, by special request from my brother Mike who is still uncovering candied cherries in his garden, we will be celebrating on the grounds of my cabin. Just watch you don’t get any in the river. The EPA is still studyin’ the stuff, you know.

So… how DO you toss a fruitcake? We got creative last year, so let’s get our thinking caps on again. We have big long skinny fruitcakes so we can toss them like Scotsmen tossin’ the caber. Or we can shot-put them. I have round ones that we can throw like baseballs. Football shaped ones for you fans of the gridiron (Way to go Spartans!). Those who are playing in the MHL Snowball Classic tonight might want to practice with these fruitcake hockey pucks I made.

Why, I even made fruitcake cookies in the shape of horseshoes, dice, and other tossable objects. Why cookies, you ask? Why, because I still have some of those lovely T-Shirts reading “I tossed my cookies on Fruitcake Toss Day”. If you missed out on those last year, YOU are in luck now!! Limber up, Catster kitties, and those who have catapults, bring them! Anything goes on Fruitcake Toss Day …


Wedding of Sir Oscar Jon and Angel Dame Mallow, July 30 2013- - The Vows:

December 30th 2013 11:40 am
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Queen Lady Dolly begins. “We are gathered here today to honour Sir Oscar Jon and Angel Dame Mallow as they follow where their hearts were leading before Angel Mallow’s far too early crossing of the Rainbow Bridge.”

K. Mike then addresses the couple: “A wedding is the celebration of the miracle of love, which knows no boundaries and can overcome all obstacles. You have demonstrated this miracle to all of us and today we gather to celebrate it with you, and to witness the vows you make to each other.”

A smiling but nervous Oscar Jon turns to Mallow and says: “I, Oscar Jon, being completely smitten with everlasting love for my Mallow do hereby present my vows: I honor your name, honor your memories, honor the memories we will make together and help you keep those memories in the treasure house of our hearts. I will protect you and your good name with everything that is in me. I will give you encouragement to be what you want to be. I will cheer when you win and support you when you fail. Above all, I will be with you every step in life and in spirit. I will love and cherish you Mallow, all the days of my life as our spirits knit together to become one, and when I join you in spirit I will love and cherish you throughout eternity.”

With eyes glistening Angel Mallow replies: “I choose you Oscar Jon to be no other than yourself. I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will celebrate your triumphs and mourn your losses as though they were my own. There is little to say that you haven’t already heard, and little to give that is not already freely given. Before you asked me, I was yours and I am devoted to you as my soul mate and my one true love. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad. From this day and forever I give you my hand, my heart, and my love.”

Now the couple turns toward Queen Lady Dolly, who calls for the rings. At her direction first Oscar Jon and then Angel Mallow place the rings on one another’s paws declaring: “Today, we are no longer two. We are one, bound together with these vows and rings given freely and in good faith. You are mine and I am yours.”

K. Mike steps forward again: “Angel Dame Mallow and Sir Oscar Jon, in accordance with the traditions of CC and of the Feline Empire I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss.”

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Angel Mallow ~ married to O.J.


Family Pets

Mike ~ married
to Lady Dolly
Evie ~ married
to A. Shai
Mojo Blackbear
Angel Smokey
Angel Jezebel


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