Annals of an Outlaw Nonconformist Angel

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ANGEL MALLOW’S KCK GROUP TRIP – Day 4

May 16th 2014 10:05 pm
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THE HELICOPTER IS HERE!

Helicopter?! That’s right, actually it’s two of them and they just landed at the Lodge to take us on a heli-fishing excursion! As if fishing in the Fraser River right outside the doors of the Lodge isn’t great enough,
throughout the Cascade Mountains, Fraser River, Harrison Lake’s beautiful forest areas are hundreds of hidden lakes. Our guides have located the most productive of these lakes and Heli-fishing gets us there.

The kitties quickly pass the word and hurry out to take their seats in the helicopters, where they are happy to find that all equipment from BBQ’s to fishing gear has been provided. Once everyone is belted in the copters fly over glaciers, mountains, waterfalls, over 4000 square miles of stunning and breathtaking landscape. Our destination is a remote alpine lake that our guides have chosen, where we will spend the day paddling around in float tubes or small row boats, catching high mountain cutthroat and rainbow trout.

For lunch we will set up camp and prepare salmon or bison steaks on the BBQ for a shoreline feast, and
then it’s back out on the lake for some more fishing before our Heli-Limo comes to take us back to the Lodge where those hot tubs and spa treatments sound pretty inviting!

Cats … fish …. What’s not to love?

 

ANGEL MALLOW’S KCK GROUP TRIP – Day 3

May 15th 2014 10:50 pm
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It’s an exciting morning at the Fraser River Lodge as the kitties gather for breakfast and start to share their pictures and their experiences from yesterday. Abby, Mugsy and the other shoppers talk about their trip, while trying to hide the gifts they’ve gotten from those snoopy noses who might try to peek. The white-water rafters are still pumped and everyone is eager to hear about their trip!

“First of all”, Bugsy begins, “we got into our wetsuits and PFDs, and our guides showed us the various maneuvers we would be asked to do. After all, they said when you’re in the rapids is not the time to be asking ‘what do I do now?’. Then we all piled into the raft. Francis was nervous!” “I was not!” protests Francis, and continues “at first, the raft just bobbed along gently and they had us practise all the moves they had demonstrated. Why, Kibbles even said it was boring and laid down to take a nap. Then the water started to move faster, we bobbed up and down and water washed over us in the raft.” “Ewww, it was cold!” remembers Meiko “and no one told me we were going to get WET!” Everyone rolls their eyes.

“What was it like in the rapids?” Simon asks, fascinated. “Well,” Yoda picks up the story, “as we approached Hells Gate, things got WAY more interesting”. All the kitties who were involved nod and murmur in agreement. “First the raft started to spin and we struggled to keep it from tipping over as the rapids turned white and churned all around us.”

“It felt like a roller coaster!” exclaims Mac, who still looks a bit green. “Yeah, but without a seatbelt!”, adds Kibbles. “The whole raft flew up in the air,” declares Bugsy, “I thought for sure someone was going to fall out!” “It was awesome!!” exclaims Meiko. “It was so LOUD!”, adds Francis. Then they all begin to talk at once.

 

ANGEL MALLOW’S KCK GROUP TRIP – Day 2

May 14th 2014 10:24 pm
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Today we have a couple of day trips planned. For the bravest (or craziest?) among us a shuttle is boarding for white water rafting experience through the big water of the lower Fraser River and world famous Hell's Gate.

In this location, the Fraser flows through a rugged canyon and alternates between a few big rapids and relaxing calms before reaching Hells Gate, where the towering rock walls of the Fraser River plunge toward each other forcing 200 million gallons of water per minute through a passage only 35 metres (115 ft) wide. The name Hells Gate was taken from the journal of explorer Simon Fraser, who in 1808 described this narrow passage as "a place where no human should venture, for surely these are the gates of Hell." Don’t everybody run for the shuttle all at once! I call shotgun in the raft!

**********

A second shuttle is boarding for a bit tamer trip: A day of shopping on Granville Island. This island nestled in the middle of a city is a living, breathing urban oasis filled with fine waterfront restaurants, theatres, galleries, studios, unique shops, cafes and, of course, the Granville Island Public Market. The Public Market is a fascinating assortment of colourful stalls, showcasing unique homemade products all fresh from the ocean, the oven or the field. Walk through the unique stores and outdoor stalls offering jewellery, fine art and photography, fashion & accessories, handmade soap & bath products, delicious jams, preserves and treats, stained glass, crafts supplies .. oh, I forget what all! This is your chance to pick up some gifts for the kitties back home

Of course, anyone who wants to stay at the Lodge is welcome to. For kitties going on the trips, just sign these waiver forms and we’ll be on our way.

Waivers? What waivers?

Oh, not much really, it just says that I ain’t responsible for anyone who ends up gettin’ on the wrong shuttle.

 

ANGEL MALLOW’S KCK GROUP TRIP – Day 1

May 13th 2014 11:34 pm
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Here we are!

The party of KCK kitties arrives at the Fraser River Lodge, 18 acres of grounds with 2,000 feet of riverfront. While kitties are still buzzing about what to do first, the staff arrives to show everyone to their rooms.

My hubby O.J. & I and some of the other couples have booked honeymoon rooms with cast iron fireplaces and huge jetted tubs, most of us are in the deluxe rooms. Whichever room you’re in, the floors are tiled with fine Italian ceramic tiles which are heated through hot water radiant heat. This is sure going to feel nice on the paws first thing in the morning!

After getting settled in our rooms, we gather in the Lodge where we are offered a choice between poached sablefish and roasted venison. While eating, the kitties look around at the amazing view of Mount Cheam and ….. “did I just see …?” Rex says. “No, I couldn’t have, they don’t have ….” But he looks again and it is. A herd of buffalo, roaming in a fenced area along the river! Our server tells us that we can throw apples and grapes to them over the fence, and they don’t mind you watching them but do NOT climb the fence. Everyone turns to stare at Bugsy, who protests “Why are you all lookin’ at ME?”

Mugsy has seen this area before and he came prepared with his fishing gear. You’re gonna like this, Mugsy! We can fish in the river and for those who want something a little more challenging, keep watchin this space.

Kitties begin to explore and find that there is also a games room where we can play pool, two golf courses just minutes away, daily yoga classes, hiking, bird watching (don’t let the eagles grab ya!) and trips including a 1 day wilderness expedition, jet boating on the Fraser Canyon, and river rafting.

When we want to relax the resort has a spa where we can have pawdicures, reflexology, massage therapy, aromatherapy, hot stone massage and (O.J. likes this one) couples massage. What to do first?!

 

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

May 6th 2014 1:32 pm
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I’m late with that. I can SO read a calendar, blame my Mom. She got bogged down with trivial human issues. The NERVE!

Wow! I’m Kewlest Catster Kitties’ Cat of the Month for May, and guess who was one of the very first kitties to come say Congratulations? That’s right, Smiley Cassanova! Even though we learned later on that he was so badly sick in the vetspital at the time. My family hasn't been on Catster very long, but Smiley & Luigi were some of the first kitties we met outside of our group of Cat Channel transplants. Whenever any one of us had a DDP or any other special day, Smiley & Luigi were right there to celebrate.

Let’s all take our Mexican hats off to Smiley, what a guy!

 

Anyone up for adventure?

April 5th 2014 1:11 pm
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Today is Road Map Day so why don't we hit the open road and see where it takes us? We don't need no stinkin' GPS! Hey, you're holdin' the map upside down! Whew, I didn't think there was a lake in the middle of the freeway!

It's also Rubber Eraser Day, so .... hey .... WHO erased the route I mapped out on this road map?

Oh, this is gonna get REALLY interesting now! Bring your parka, your water wings and your Spanish dictionary, we could wind up anywhere! -- A. Mallow

 

It’s Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day

March 27th 2014 12:54 pm
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Yep, time once again to celebrate such classics as
♦ ‘Dixie Rose Deluxe’s Honky-Tonk, Feed Store, Gun Shop, Used Car, Beer, Bait, BBQ, Barber Shop, Laundromat’
♦ “May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose”
♦ “There Ain’t No Trash in My Trailer”
♦ “Flushed From the Bathroom of your Heart”

But since I’m an Angel, Management wants me to sing you one with a positive message, so here’s a real classic for ya,

“OHHHHHH ~~
♫ “Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

♫”Well, ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you've a mind to

♫ “All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it

EVERYBODY SING ~~
♫ “Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to” ♫

~~ Happy toe-tappin’ thoughts from Angel Mallow

 

It's the first day of spring and I'm Diary of the Day!

March 21st 2014 11:29 am
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Well, yesterday was, so the calendar says, anyway. We love our friends in the East and we’ve got just the thing to cheer them up, we’re gonna sing to you! Ignoring the cries of “No! Anything but that!” Mallow blows a note on her pitch pipe and leads on:

“♫ Welcome sweet springtime, we greet thee in mittens,
Parkas and mukluks, shoveling our driveways ….
Dodging the hailstones and lightning we goooo
While far as the eye can see ...

♫ Gusty and near freezing breezes are blowing,
While cross the driveway the garbage can’s blowing
Ah, how my skin sprouts with goose bumps anew,
As gray skies and snowflakes again meet my view.

♫ Sing then, to Spring, raise your voices on hiiiiigh;
Watch out for that tree limb, gracefully falling.
Calendar says it and calendars don’t liiiii-e.
Some day this slush will melt! ♫

Thanks for making me Diary of the Day today!

 

Why My Humans Don't Replace Their FUR-niture Very Often

March 16th 2014 12:59 pm
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Some strange stuff went on here the other night and bein’ an Angel I was the only kitty who got to see it all. Here's what happened:

See, Mom & Dad had this ratty old couch they got at Value Village not realizing how gigantic it was. It took such a performance to get it into the house that they hung onto the thing after the springs started to go and Evie had scratched one of the arm rests down to the wood. They just kept saying "imagine ever trying to get it out of here".

Now, last week a friend who is moving offered to give them a used couch that's much better than the one they have and finally they had to do it. Big Bro Will & Becky's ex were going to get it Saturday, but then Friday night right after Mouse Hockey Becky's ex phoned to say that it would be better for him to get it now. So while he was on his way with his truck, Mom & Dad put the earth kitties in their rooms and Mom & Big Bro Will tried to get the old couch out of the house. The only possible way to do this involved stairs.

They got it down the stairs and when Becky’s ex arrived they had the monster couch standing on end at the bottom of the stairs figuring angles to get it around the bannister & out the door (and the thing on end is taller than the doorway, which is another story altogether). While the three of them were figuring, Dad (a man of action if not forethought!) went in the back room, grabbed the circular saw and started sawing away at the exposed underside.

Mom told him it wouldn't work. It didn't work. Then he got the jigsaw. Mom told him he'd break the blade. He broke the blade. Meanwhile the guys figured out what they needed to do and jockeyed the thing back UP the stairs to turn it around, and it worked. While they were gone picking up the new couch, Mom had to vacuum up all the sawdust .. along with the regular dust.

Mom & Dad just left the earth kitties in their rooms the whole time so they didn’t have to round them up again when the guys got back with the new couch. When the guys did get back, (the new couch is a sofa bed, I hafta add here), they got it off the truck and were about to take it through the front door. Mom was just opening her mouth to say "maybe you should turn it so the back rest is the lowest point rather than the highest because of the ..." and then CLANK! The bed started to unfold. They were saved from royal stuckness by the fact that they were moving the couch with slip cover still on and the slip cover slowed the bed part down enough that they caught it before it could unfold all the way.

So then the slip cover had to come off and they decided to go around the house and through the back sliding door. But when they tipped the couch to get through the doorway between the kitchen and the living room (the one the monster couch would no way fit through), the bed started to unfold again but they caught it when they first saw movement and all was well. The good news in all this is, if the pawrents ever have to unfold the bed the mechanism seems pretty smooth, not like those nasty ones you get a hernia trying to pull out.

Mom spent the next 45 minutes or so trying to figure out how to get the slip cover back on. And finally Mike, Evie & Mojo got to come out of their rooms. They went crazy sniffing all over the new couch, and all the spots where the old one was dragged, and all the spots where stuff was moved to make room while it was coming in ... well, Mike & Mojo sniffed around forever while Evie cuddled up on the new couch with Big Bro Will happy as anything. All is well now, both Mike & Evie have given it their seal of approval. Mojo remains suspicious. =^00^=

 

It’s Inconvenience Yourself Day!

February 22nd 2014 11:20 am
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In order to celebrate, last night I put my alarm clock in the bathroom and locked the door. When it went off this morning not only did I have to pick the lock with a knitting needle (which I had to find first, it’s not like I knit or anything!) to get to the (ahem!) facilities, the stupid alarm was playing “Who Let the Dogs Out? Woof, woof woof woof woof!” full blast the whole time!

Right now I’m unthawing my Harley key, which I froze in a block of ice last night before retiring. I wonder if I’ll make it through the Hairballz rides because I just finished siphoning about 4 gallons of gas from my 5 gallon tank. Yuck! Ptoooie! And of course, just for today I won’t be carrying either a jerry can OR my wallet with me! Do I know how to celebrate or what?!

Then I’ll finish out the day at home watching the Olympics! Of course, because it’s Inconvenience Yourself Day, last night I asked Evie to hide the remote so every time I want to flip the channel I have to get up and do it the cavecat way! I will then finish out this very special day by climbing into my cozy soft bed, which of course I inconveniently short-sheeted when I made it this morning.

How are YOU going to celebrate?

 
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Angel Mallow ~ married to O.J.


 

Family Pets

Mike ~ married
to Lady Dolly
Evie ~ married
to A. Shai
Mojo Blackbear
Angel Smokey
Angel Jezebel

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