September 21st 2013 8:01 pm
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Hey to all of my furriends here on Catster...sorry I've not been around so much lately. Mommy is still not doing so well since February when she had the heart surgery...she's just tired alot and not feeling so great. She's a good mommy and she tries hard to be everything I need and want ...but I just want to be me with my own personality and my own quirks. When mommy and daddy got me they actually got me because their daughter who is 25 has her own apartment and another kitty named "Sutton". They all love Sutton, she is "fixed" and she is a good kitty and mommy's daughter thought that she'd get another kitty (me) to keep Sutton company . But when I went there after the foster home, I didnt' like it so much. I was stuck in the bathroom for a few days and I felt lonely and worried about what was going on for me in life. I was let out of the bathroom for times and then Sutton would be put in the laundry room for awhile while I sniffed out the place and played awhile...then we went back to our own spaces again...just until we could get used to each other. But Sut-Sut never got used to me and started worrying , not grooming, not eating and whenever we got put together to try and be introduced; we both got upset and started clawing at eachother and hissing...
We did not like each other and it just was not gonna work and mommy's daughter was going to have to take me back to my foster mom's home. But my mommy intervened and she told her daughter to bring me to her house and they would take me as they fur baby and be my family. I was really cute and I didnt want to be alone in a room downstairs that first night and I jumped up the basement stairs and over the 1/2 door and into the living room! I made a big sound and they wondered what happened!! I made them so surprised and they were laughing so hard and I was instantly allowed upstairs with them and trusted.
OK...so you all know my trials and stories and eveything we've been through together, right? You know how my mommy used to say that she had hoped that I would be "cuddly" and everyone said to give me time? Mommy had hoped for company and love and companionship. She is in pain all of the time with a nerve disease and doesn't feel too good and she just wanted something to love and be loved. (*On a side note mommy has an abusive family and she has to stay away from them to be safe...she also lost her oldest daughter 9 yrs ago ).... She feels like she could use some unconditional love like the love only fur babies can give...but not me...so far I'm not capable of this. Mommy knows that kitties are sometimes loners or we want things our own way....You know my mommy loves me and you can see by all the pictures she takes of me that I'm so important in their lives. I'm so smart and cute and funny...but mommy is sad because I never want anything except to sleep and play (playing is harder for her but she's a good sport and still plays with me a lot). I'm funny to watch but I'm not any company really. You see....Mommy & Daddy.. they both are allergic and think that having 2 cats would be "pushing it. Mommy and daddy's allergies are in check just by taking a pill daily so thats good and with me, they are doing OK with it and that is wonderful. But two kitty's might be pushing it a bit much and mommy's has asthma as well (which is also doing good at the moment).
Mommy keeps saying that in time things will be better, that I'll get used to everything, that I'll be better, less skittish etc. Daddys starting to get upset because mommy is sad quite often about the whole thing. Daddy keeps saying that they should let the foster mommy come back and bring me to her house because she said I could come back to her house any time forever. Mommy loves me so much and daddy does as well, but the only thing that they do is clean out my litter box and feed me and play with me. I won't let mommy (or anyone) hold me, I won't sit with her, I won't sit next to her, I won't sleep with her, she cannot hold me! I stay in one room of the house most of the time and they are always in the TV room. I used to sleep with mommy but haven't in about a month and now I sleep up on the mantle over the fireplace or I also sleep in the rocking chair in the room upstairs, the spare room. You see, right now its Sat. night...daddy and mommy are watching TV and playing on their Ipads...I'm upstairs by myself in the computer room in a chair. I used to greet them in the morning if there was a night that went by and I didnt want to sleep next to mommy. I would at least be head butting and meowing and happy to see them and get them up. Now I just keep going backwards 5 steps and forward one step!!
I won't drink water from my bowl...not any bowl...only from the faucet....I want mommy to pet me while i eat or sometimes i wont eat...the only thing that I do that shows any kind of affection whatsoever, is sometimes I' ll fall down onto my side like "plop" and want to be petted...but only for a few moments or then I start swiping my claws at them. I don't get excited to see them or even get up off of my perch when either of them come home....Mommy's friends who are in a support group for pain patients, they have kitties and their kitties lay down in the bed with them for the most part when they don't feel good throughout the day. I don't care if mommy doesn't feel good and I stay in another room ....
Mommy and daddy are so sad ...especially mommy. She /they know that animals are not "disposable" creatures that can be "traded" as the cat behaviorist has suggested when mommy talked to one at the humane society where I used to live. She said that if mommy isn't happy and it's been so long, about 8 /9 months now and I'm just not that "into them"..that they should take me back to my foster mommy who doesn't mind taking me back at all! She told them that they could for sure find mommy a loveable lap cat that would possibly fit in at this house and with this family since I don't really seem to do anything here except keep to myself and I like it that way. Mommy is afraid to hurt my feelings or afraid to do anything except just keep me here with them, with her. She said they should try a dog or another cat and just let me be who I am and leave it at that...but daddy says that thats not an option.....because of his allergies being worse, he only wants one animal and he has to do the laundry, housework, and lawn work and everything pretty much ...already...Because mommy has several health issues its alot on his shoulders. He is a full time teacher and has been for 36 years as well....it's just hard and they know they could do it and welcome it and not mind at all...but they just want me to give some kind of sign of love and affection. I mean, I hate seeing mommy unhappy because of me....she is sad quite often and she has enough to be sad about daddy says, without me being a part of it. I was supposed to be part of the family and their lives and love and be loved...it's hard because I'm not like that and I've been here 9 mos almost.
Lastly, you know...mommy and daddy had they picked out their own family fur baby, they'd have chosen one with a history of being loving and a lap cat and such...but their daughter brought me home and that didnt' work out with her kitty and me. We didnt like each other at all. Remember, she was going to take me right back after a week, to the foster mommy...but my mommy now didnt want that to happen and she said they would try to take me and see how it goes....it's been all this time and I'm getting more and more apart from them/her and instead of closer.....any suggestions will be so hoped for... but mommy cannot handle anymore hurtfulness because there are so many abusers in her life that she's trying hard to keep at bay...thank you all for being warm, caring and understanding.....love, Luna ...purrrssss
Dear Luna 'n meowmy, Sometimes kits don't work out ina home. I should know, When we first got Mallee, well before dat, she lived wif two males kitties up stairs and Mallee was terrified o' Ziggy, although he is now her cousin and livin' wif Milo 'n me, Mallee still doesn't like Ziggy. I hope all the changes work out. Pickin' 'n choosin' da right kit is furry important. Mom always jus' wanted ONE kitty, but den Mallee came to visit and here we area now. MOL she can' still be a witch every now and den but she is my sisfur 'n I love's her.
Oh Luna, you are such a sweet and purrty girl. Your mommy just wants to know that you love her and are appreciative of her. Of course you are, but maybe you just don't know how to show it. You came from a very bad place, and it wasn't a good start to your life. You didn't get the normal learning skills a kiiten needs, like learning how to love and trust. I'm sure it can still be taught, if you fully trust, the loving will get there. You said you like to be petted when you eat? Tell your mommy to find a spot that you really like, such as rubbing the ears, under the chin, or scratching the back.....and have her do more of that. Talk soft when doing it. But don't over do it, to the point you run away. Playing together is great! Make sure she's gentle with you though, and comes down to your level. If she can. My mommy has dealt with abusiveness in the past, she understands about keeping away from people like that. I'm purring that her heart feels better. Paws up fur her and your daddy fur taking you in and giving you a chance.