Uno Happily Irrepressible!

Uno's Valentines Viewpoint & Advice to All Her Kitty Friends

February 15th 2013 1:31 pm
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Uno says a big thank you to all her friends who gave her Valentines. She also says that she really appreciates all the love, caring, friendship, and other good things you, her kitty friends, show her with your virtual Catster treats, stars, rosettes, Valentines, special gifts, etc, and thanks everyone for all these things.

She also has a bit of "kittyadvice" to her friends about virtual gifts!

Now as I agreed to do yesterday after Uno got all her Valentines, I'm going to turn this over to Uno and let her speak for herself in the following conversation so her kitty friends can read her own words & get & follow her kitty advice "straight from the kitty's mouth."

Note: I'm only responsible for what I say in this conversation. Uno being a typical cat when it comes to appearing to be innocent, is likely to only be willing to take responsibility for what she says that doesn't get her into any trouble!

Me: "Hey Uno, look at all the valentines your friends gave you! Isn't that cool?"

Uno: "I'm so happy my friends like me so much. But Mom, what good are Valentines and other virtual gifts if you can't EAT them? Can't Catster make it so that Valentines and other gifts are made of real CHEESE so I can EAT them?"

Me: "Now Uno, don't get greedy. You should be polite and thankful your friends love you and care so much about you that they honor you and show you their friendship and caring by giving you all those virtual treats, rosettes, stars, valentines, and that nice milk special gift you got for your post on Thundercats group forum about cat fights."

Uno: "Yeah, when I got my virtual milk special gift, I asked you to give me a taste of real milk instead of cheese. And you wouldn't even give me any real milk at all when I got my virtual milk special gift! Not even a taste!"

Me: "Uno you know why I won't give you real milk! Like most cats, your digestive system doesn't handle cows milk well and you get diarrhea and really malodorous catfarts if you drink milk! If you remember, I shared my strawberry yogurt with you that day when you wanted some of it.!

Uno: "I get your point Mom, but look at this from my superior feline viewpoint. You're not a cat, after all. You get enjoyment from looking at things that don't move. You get enjoyment out of reading stories. But those things are BORING to kitties like me. I like things that move, things I can play with, things I can chew on, things I can chase, things I can EAT...especially if they're made of CHEESE. The most fun I can have with your virtual world on the computer screen is when I chase your cursor and then you always make me stop chasing it."

Uno: "Oh, and there was the time I opened TED notepad and had fun typing "xcqaaz1QQQQQQQQQ6:57 PM Thursday, July 14, 20116:57 PM Thursday, July 14, 2011" in it when I was a kitten. Remember how hard you tried to figure out who did that and how before you gave up & chalked it up as a perpetual mystery that probably would never be solved?"

Me: "You mean it was YOU who did that? Do you mind telling me how?"

Uno: "I was trying to hit keys on the keyboard the way I see you do it and somehow, it just happened. I touched a little orange and white icon that opened your TED notepad" (TED notepad is a fantastic freeware notepad replacement that has so many features, it's far superior to Windows notepad. You can find TED notepad at it's homepage here: http://jsimlo.sk/notepad/ )

Uno: "Then I just started hitting some keys on the keyboard until Splats & Buttons & Velcro told me they hear you coming back to the room & I better get down before you see me."

Uno: "So I got down without knocking anything over that time, I didn't want to chance anything falling by the bed coz that would have given away that it was me and I was hiding under there. I hid under the bed and you never saw me and nobody else was that close to the desk. Then while you were staring at the stuff I typed in the notepad and trying to figure out who did it and how it was done, I sneaked out of the room through the doorway behind you!"

Me: "I always wondered who did that. I knew it was ONE of you cats. Even more I wondered HOW one of you cats did that, especially how on earth you managed to put the DATE on it."

Uno: "Well, keep wondering because I've gotta keep SOMETHING secret from you. Now Mom close your eyes until I tell you that you can look again. What I have to say next is something you don't need to see."

Me: "Uno, even if I don't peek now, I'll see it after you post it! And remember, I can edit your diary if I have to."

Uno: "Well it will already be too late for you to even think of editing what I say before you even get a chance to read it. Remember you said you have things you need to get done tonight before you have time to settle down and catch up to things on Catster tonight! By the time you see what I said, my friends will already have read this and seen my kittyadvice to them. And I bet some of my friends will agree with me and follow my kittyadvice too!"

Uno: "Hey kitty friends, one piece of kittyadvice to you all---ALWAYS KEEP SECRET FROM YOUR HUMAN how you do some of your most hard-for-humans-to-figure-out tricks. If you don't let your humans find out how you do your most mystifying tricks, you will be assured of continuing to get and keep your human's attention. "

Uno: "Another piece of kittyadvice to all my friends! You don't want to get TOO well-behaved because Too Well-Behaved=Boring and Boring=Not Getting As Much Attention As You Want!! Lefty's too much of a "Goody Four Paws and look at Lefty's diary! Mom even ADMITTED in Lefty's diary that this is true."

At this moment, my alarm clock went off. (Another trick someone in my feline family likes to occasionally pull is to somehow set my alarm clock for some bizarre time and turn on the alarm.)

Me: "Uno did you have anything to do with the alarm clock going off just now?"

Uno: "Who, me? Do you think I'd do anything like that? Never mind, I know the answer to that already, but honestly Mom, this time it wasn't me and I don't know who did it."

Me: "Back to topic Uno. And you can't make this too long either. You don't want to bore or confuse your readers, do you? If you want to write a book, I'll help you but your Catster diary is not the place to write a book because humans usually don't like to read really long text pages online."

Uno: "Oh all right, I'll concede that you do have a point there."

Uno: "Ok since Mom says I have to wrap this up soon and not make it too long, I need to tell all you kitty friends of mine one more piece of GREAT kitty advice.!"

Uno: "Yesterday I told Mom that although I honestly do appreciate all the rosettes, stars, the special milk gift, and all the valentines everyone has given me and all your thoughtfulness, love, friendship, and caring they stand for, I also told Mom that since I can't actually DO anything with these virtual gifts, she needs to do something to make these gifts more meaningful to ME in a way a KITTY can FULLY UNDERSTAND and APPRECIATE them."

Uno: "Mom asked me what did I suggest she do. Even though I tell Mom that I always eat my cat food good, she still usually limits my treats because she says too much junk food and treats might not be good for me. I decided this was a good time to make her relax the rules a little, at least for a day."

Uno: "I answered her, "Duh! Mom you know my very most favorite treat in the whole world. Just give me some cheese, at least one good big piece for every star, rosette, treat, virtual milk, valentine and any other virtual gift I get."

Uno: "Guess what? Mom actually listened to me and gave me a bunch of cheese treats yesterday, one for each of my valentines. That's more cheese than I usually manage to con out of her in a WEEK. "

Uno: "Now before Mom starts griping at me that this is getting too long and nagging me again to wrap this up, here's one more piece of kitty advice for my kitty friends for now."

Uno: "All you kitty friends of mine, tell your human its really TRUE that by giving you a treat or if you prefer, a new toy everytime you get a new virtual treat, star, rosette, or special gift, your human will be putting the meaning of these gifts into a language all we cats understand and make it possible for us to really appreciate the love, caring, friendship, and all the other good things these virtual gifts represent."

Uno: "So kitty friends of mine, all of you tell your human to give you at least ONE real treat or, at least ONE new toy for every virtual treat, star, rosette, or special gift you get from your kitty friends on Catster. My mom listened to me, hopefully your humans will listen to you too. After all, nobody is superior to a cat when it comes to giving advice to other cats! "

Uno: "Thanks again everyone, I really love and appreciate all of you. My fellow feline friends, you make me feel very special and you inspire me to keep doing my best to keep things stirred up here so I won't ever get boring and also so Mom has plenty of new things to write about in my diary (thank you Catster for my DDPs!) and help me in my mission to show the world that all us cats, even those of us who are disabled or different in some way-or as I prefer to say "uniquely extraordinary", deserve to have and keep good indoor forever homes with owners who love us."

 
 

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