May 4th 2013 8:45 pm
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Yesterday was my second birthday. At first I was rather disgusted at Mom because she seemed to be celebrating my birthday by being gone all afternoon photographing her best friend's dogs for her best friend's website!
I thought, "How DARE Mom waste time on my birthday photographing DOGS of all things!"
I wanted to chomp some of Mom's cords to get even with her and to really make my point about how inconsiderate it was of Mom to be gone all afternoon. However, Carina and Gyselle were both laying in the areas where Mom's cords are.
Carina and Gyselle are still newcomers, having only been here a little over a month. As usual with newcomers, they still tend to be nervous and tend to overreact defensively aggressively when they get scared or feel threatened. When I tried to make them vacate the areas where the cords are by threatening them, instead of leaving they both hissed fiercely and swatted at me in no-nonsense ways that told me that if I pushed them any further, they would defend themselves. Not wanting to risk a fight, scratch, or bite from either of them, I backed down.
It was then that I spotted books stacked near the edge of the headboard. Here was the perfect way to get even with Mom and make my point. Here there were no armed obstacles in my way. Into action I sprang. Up I went, down those books went. On I moved to the next stack of books, with the same result. After the headboard was cleared of books, I turned my attention to some of the bookshelves in the living room where books had been stacked on each other near the edge of the shelves. CRASH! Down those books went too.
My plan succeeded beautifully except for one major point. When Mom came home and found the books that had been knocked down and scattered all over the place, she DIDN'T KNOW WHO DID IT. Now what is the point of getting even if the target of your vengeance doesn't know it's you who is upset at them? There was only one thing I could do to salvage the situation. As soon as Mom had picked up one stack of books and restacked it, I went and knocked it over again right in front of her.
"Uno, I haven't forgotten your birthday," Mom said. "In fact I bought some cheese sauce with my breadsticks just so I could share it with you as your birthday treat."
I must confess after Mom said that, I felt just a tiny bit ashamed of myself...but only a little itsy-bitsy teeny tiny bit!
And yes, I very much enjoyed my cheese sauce birthday treat!
May 1st 2013 11:43 am
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As some of you may know, us kitties like to test our skills in jumping, climbing, and the feline equivalent of tightrope walking. Some of us like to add a little challenge to the latter and attempt to walk all the way around the rim of a bathtub of water.
I've heard humans mention a game called "dunk dunk goosed" but I never knew what it meant until today when its meaning was taught to me in reverse order.
Lately I've felt I needed to do something to remind Mom that I'm the Queen and deserve to get the most attention around here and those newcomers need to get used to that fact. I'd impressed Mom before by walking all the way around the bathtub of water while she was in it, but it'd been a long time ago. Now seemed a good time to impress Mom again and at the same time, remind her that I'm the one who is Queen around here.
There I was, getting ready to demonstrate my superior balancing skills by walking all the way around the rim of the bathtub while it was half filled with water. In that water sat Mom. I leaped up onto the edge of the tub, neatly poised to pivot into place to begin my walk when suddenly.....Bbbbrrrrrr ! A shiver went up my spine! KerSPLASH! I fell headfirst into the water! I hissed, "What the PFFFFTTTTTTT!!!!! just HAPPENED?"
Angry, embarrassed, and soaked, I leaped back up onto the edge of the tub barely in time to catch a glimpse of a big long dark feather duster tail disappear around the corner of the bathroom door. There's only one cat who has a big long dark feather duster tail around here like that....Velcro!!! To make matters worse, Mom was laughing at me.
"You got goosed then you got dunked," Mom laughed.
Then Mom proceeded to tell me that Velcro had very quietly sneaked up on me and poked his cold nose into a sensitive part of my rear, startling me and causing me to end up getting dunked in the water. I must have been concentrating so hard on trying to execute my balancing act perfectly enough to impress Mom with it, that I didn't even hear him. Now I not only have to think up something else to do to impress Mom and remind her I'm still the Queen of the house, I also have to think up some way to get even with Velcro for goosing and dunking me!
April 21st 2013 2:05 am
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As some of you may have heard, we have three newcomers in our kitty family. Mom was SUPPOSED to adopt only ONE, Gyselle. If only Gyselle had come, it would have been fine with me because she just stays up on the highest shelves out of everybody's way and wants to be left alone. She only comes down eat, drink, use the litter, sharpen her claws, and walk around a little. After that she goes right back up to one of the highest shelves, usually the one in the bedroom where she can lay out of everybody else's way and watch tv. Gyselle is ok, she doesn't interfere with me at all.
However, two other kitties decided they wanted Mom to adopt them too and they stuck to her like they were made of Superglue until Mom agreed they could come home with her too. Now these two newcomers and Farrah too, really are hissing me off because they keep spoiling all my fun!
Since Gyselle pretty much took over the bedroom highest shelf, Farrah moved to a new spot under Mom's bed. There's a lot of spots under Mom's bed Farrah could have picked, but NO, Farrah had to go and pick the spot right under where Mom likes to sit and work on her laptop. What's the problem with that, you may ask? Well, that spot is right by Mom's surge protector where she plugs in the laptop and the power cord for the usb hub.
When I go to have some fun with Mom's laptop cord or the USB hub power cord or just to turn off the surge protector to get Mom's attention, I can't get to it because Farrah's fluffbutt is planted in my way. I tell her get out of my way. Farrah tells me I have a whole house to play in and to back off before she smacks me. She says its enough that she's agreed to respect my Queen status in community areas such as where the food dishes, litter pans, and water dishes are.
Carina the blue and white newcomer, likes to hang out behind the computers which of course is by the shelf where the surge protectors for the computers, modem, router, etc are at. All the ethernet cords (so soft & delicious for chewing) are behind the pcs. Of course, the keyboard cords and other things that plug into the back of the pcs also are back there. If I go to have some fun chewing on those deliciously soft ethernet cables or to entertain myself by yanking the keyboard and USB cords out of the back of the desktop pcs or turning off the surge protectors, I run into Carina. Carina won't move either. She just tells me to hiss off unless I want her to put holes in me with her teeth (someone declawed her at some time in her past life so she's a biter.Whereas kitties with claws usually just smack you with their claws kept sheathed when you hiss them off, if you hiss off a declawed kitty they tend to just bite you which hurts a lot more than a smack or even a scratch!)
Kitty GaGa, the third newcomer with long hair, keeps laying on the bed right by Mom's laptop while Mom works on it. She will tolerate Buddha, Lily, Lefty, and Gabriel sleeping by her and of course she LOVES Mom but if anybody else of us tries to come close to her, Kitty GaGa hisses and smacks us if we don't back off! Whenever Mom's working on her laptop, Kitty GaGa is always sitting or laying right beside where the cord plugs into it. Mom sits near the edge of the bed so that the other side of the laptop where Mom plugs in the trackball or USB hub is right above where Farrah is laying. So if I try to have fun with the laptop cord where it plugs in to the laptop, Kitty GaGa will hiss, growl, and smack me if I don't mind her first warning hiss and back off. If I want to try to pull the trackball or USB hub cord out of the laptop, I can't because the spot I have to use to reach it is right in front of Farrah's nose and then Farrah will clout me.
Righty told me I should just come and join her and Skittles and everyone else on the new cat trees or the old cat trees if I prefer, and just give the newcomers more time. She says eventually the newcomers may start playing on the trees or with the toys with us instead of occupying all my favorite spots.
I don't WANT to play on the trees. I don't want to play with the toys. What I want is for Farrah and Carina and Kitty GaGa to get out of my favorite spots and STAY out of my favorite spots. And I want to have my usual fun with all those wonderfully chewable cords & cables!
I can't have any fun at all because of these >~ &%(!@!)V(@!)%#~< newcomers (Mom won't let me call them what I really feel like calling them, she doesn't let us talk like that!)
April 2nd 2013 10:39 am
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For all of my adult life, I've raised, trained, showed, competed in conformation, obedience, and other working & performance activities & events with German Shepherd Dogs and to a lesser extent, rough Collies, as well as teaching GSDs to do such things as pull wagons. I've worked with other people's dogs of various breeds as well. I've raised many puppies over the years. Yet in all the years I've had dogs and even though German Shepherd Dogs are a breed that likes to chew things throughout their lifetime, the single most destructive chewer I've ever owned has not been canine.
The single most destructive chewer I've ever owned weighs barely four pounds, has only one eye, and is the smallest FELINE in the house. Although Uno is her name, she's now acquired the nickname "Chomper" because when it comes to cords and cables, she's like a T-Rex. Being close to two years old now, she long ago finished with teething. Yet she has a penchant for chewing cables and cords unlike that of any dog (or cat) I've ever known.
Three days ago with one swift "CHOMP!", Uno instantly rendered my laptop charging cord dead (and equally swiftly fled the scene of the crime!) She's killed several ethernet cables now, a few cellphone charger cords, & among others, a few USB cables. Naturally her USB cable chewing preference is for the newer style of USB cables with mini-port plugs for cellphones & external hard drives that are difficult to find replacements for, rather than the old style USB cables that are easy to replace.
Laptop manufacturers enjoy making sure their battery charger caables are not only incompatible with all other laptop manufacturers charger cables, they make sure they're incompatible with the cables for prior models of their own laptops. My current laptop is a Toshiba. The plug that inserts into my current Toshiba laptop is a different size than those of any of my three old Toshiba laptops. Thankfully, I was able to order a replacement charger cable from Amazon for a reasonable price although of course, it will take a few days for it to arrive.
My son Russ, whose birthday is April 6, has been staying at my house for a few days. As usual he brought along his X-Box and some games to play. He also brought along a wired X-Box controller that his girlfriend bought him two months ago. Last night he started up his X-Box and proceeded to begin playing his game when suddenly "CHOMP!!!!" That was all it took, his game was over just as it was getting started. This time, weirdly, instead of instantly fleeing the scene of the crime, the culprit looked Russ in the eye before fleeing the room. Russ swears Uno winked at him when she looked him in the eye.
Russ was understandably upset that Uno had destroyed his controller cord. To fix the situation, I offered to immediately go get him a replacement for it. Uno's timing was impeccable. K-Mart was still open for another 30 minutes. Russ and I rushed over to K-Mart. The store had only one wired controller and one wireless controller left. Of course the wireless controller is most expensive of the two. However, since Russ's birthday is coming up and since we agreed that wireless is the best most logical safest option when you have a little feline T-Rex killing cords with one chomp, we bought the wireless controller.
On the way home from the store, Russ told me he had been wanting a wireless controller. I remarked that it's almost like Uno planned the whole event, the cord chomp barely 30 minutes before K-Mart closed and us arriving at the store in the nick of time to get the only wireless controller left in the store, just so she could buy Russ a birthday present!
March 26th 2013 12:27 am
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It is often said that the best way to deal with negative behaviors is by distracting the animal with something positive to do. Quite unintentionally, I managed to do this with Uno, at least temporarily.
Whereas it's common for kittens and young cats to chew on things while teething, Uno's teething has been more like that of a German Shepherd puppy. After a German Shepherd puppy gets adult teeth, he/she then chews even harder to set the teeth in the jaw and develop and strengthen the ear and jaw muscles. Uno too, chews more and harder after she got her adult teeth than she did while she was actually teething. Thus, Uno has earned herself a new nickname "Chomper", taken from the name of the baby Tyrannosaurus Rex in the movie Land Before Time II.
Unfortunately for me, Uno's favorite things to chew are computer ethernet cables, cellphone cords, and USB cables, especially my USB trackball cables. Although fortunately for me I know how to splice and repair cables and cords, I would much rather have no need to do such repair tasks. Bitter apple, tabasco sauce, etc deters Uno's chewing but only for a short time. The way I usually find out the deterrent is no longer working is when I have to again repair a cord. (If anybody knows of a teething device for small dogs that has a soft consistency similar to a cord that I could try for Uno, please let me know. Gummy bones are a bit too thick and not soft enough to appeal to her.)
The new big cat tree has given me at least a temporary reprieve from Uno's "Chomper" antics. It is large, fairly heavy, stable, and has several carpeted shelves and little houses at different heights, with sisal wrapped support posts, all features which cats prefer when it comes to things to climb and scratch on. Big cat trees such as this really save furniture from a lot of wear and tear. The most important qualities to look for when buying a cat tree are stability, little or no wobbliness, and a rough surface to claw on.
Since I got the new cat tree, I've seen much less of Uno except of course when I'm eating or sleeping. The cords also have seen much less of Uno's chompers! Just like kids with a new toy, Uno and some of the other cats spend most of their time in and on the cat tree. Many of their games they play on the cat tree are clearly organized, with individual cats taking turns being "it" or being "king of the hill" etc.
I'm sure the reprieve my cords and I are receiving from Uno's chompers is only temporary. Just as the novelty wears off of a kid's new toy, in time the novelty will wear off of the new big cat tree. Then I'm sure Uno will be making sure I don't forget how to repair cables and cords!
March 15th 2013 7:01 am
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I'm beginning to think that Uno, rather than being the undisputed Queen of our feline family, is actually in the same position that royal children often find themselves....allowed only as much power as their nanny & parents see fit to allow them to have.
For the most part, Uno pretty much rules things around here. For the most part, Uno usually manages to get what she wants. For the most part, the other cats step aside and allow Uno to do such things as steal their treats from them without protest after she's wolfed her own down at lightning speed. When she jumps up on a shelf and decides she wants the whole shelf to herself and starts crowding another cat out, the other cat usually gets up and seeks a new napping spot elsewhere. If anyone else gets too close to Uno's treats or sleeping spot and doesn't back off right away, Uno's quick to smack at them to make her point clear. As they did with Hallie, the other cats let Uno do things and get away with things they would never let any other cat even think of getting away with.
All except one. With one and only one cat who seems to have appointed herself as Uno's "nanny", Uno has learned that there's a limit she must not cross. Again and again when Uno tries to shove Splat Cat out of a sleeping or perching spot or tries to steal food from Splat Cat or otherwise wrongly disrespects her, Splat Cat will quietly and gently but firmly either smack Uno on the muzzle or reach out with a paw and just push it against Uno's head as Uno tries to bodily shove Splats out of her way. Splat Cat usually doesn't utter a sound when she disciplines Uno. Splat Cat only disciplines Uno when Uno exceeds the limit of tolerance most cats have for the antics of a youngster. For some reason I haven't figured out yet (and maybe never will figure out), Splat Cat has managed to gain Uno's respect.
Uno "runs over" all the other cats but when she tries to run over Splat Cat, her disrespect ends up going splat against a brick wall of firm, gentle, and unyielding kitty discipline.
March 8th 2013 8:54 pm
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FINALLY after waiting all day, I get a few minutes to use Mom's laptop.
Everybody here, even the SPIRIT KITTIES just kept hogging Mom's laptop today! They're all writing all these Pawmails. Buddha even was trying to tick me off by pretending he didn't see me waiting impatiently for him to get off the laptop.
Mom STILL refuses to buy me a laptop of my own. She says I just have to learn my manners & to wait my turn. I tried reminding her I have a group now to tend to. She said it'll wait a few hours & that I need to learn to have a bit of patience. I'm tired of waiting. I don't know what everyone had to say that kept them on the laptop all day.
"Uh oh. I think I'm in trouble."
"Hey Uno did you tell everyone what you did today?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You know, Uno."
"I have no idea at all what you're talking about."
"Ok, I'll tell everybody here what happened then."
Tonight I was eating one of those little pizzas made for one person to eat it. I had cut it into six small pieces. As usual, Uno was dancing around my pizza begging, trying to pester me into giving her a bite. (Sometimes the only way to get a minute peace is to give Uno a bribe to keep her busy a few minutes longer while I try to eat without her help....yeah I know I know, I tend to spoil her a little...MOL.)
Anyway, several times I threatened Uno with the canned air & accordingly she backed down. Then suddenly.....
From nowhere came a black lightning bolt.
That little bolt of lightning struck my pizza from the opposite side from where I sat. In that same lightning fast move, the little black flash whirled to the opposite direction from that where it had first struck, and carried one piece of my pizza away to one of a cat's favorite places to hide from humans, under the bed at the exact right distance to be just out of the reach of human arms.
The speed with which Uno executed this bit of thievery was incredible. From the lack of evidence, it appears Uno consumed that entire piece of pizza which granted, being only 1/6 of an individual serving pizza, wasn't very big.
That's about the most brazen food theft Uno's pulled off so far.
One thing Uno NEVER is, she's never BORING!
March 6th 2013 6:12 am
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Hooray, I finally conned Mom into letting me start a new Catster group for all Special Kitties (Kitties With Disabilities), friends & family members of Special Kitties, & everyone who loves Special Kitties or wants to learn more about Special Kitties.
The URL for our new group is:
It is my hope that this group will positively thrive and grow and provide a valuable resource for all of us who have Special Kitties, know Special Kitties, & love Special Kitties. I also hope this group will help positively educate & show others that Special Kitties can & do learn to live full happy lives. It is also my hope that this group will help to positively encourage people to adopt, rescue, or otherwise give a Special Kitty the greatest blessing of all, a chance to live a happy full life in a good loving forever home.
So far, I haven't yet managed to convince Mom to buy me my own laptop to manage our Catster group yet though. I'm still stuck having to use her laptop (it's easier for a kitty to use than the desktops are!)
March 4th 2013 2:09 am
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Wow a DDP today, Thank you Catster! Now maybe Mom will get over being upset at me for stealing her package of beef jerky this evening, sneaking it under the bed, opening it, and sharing it with Little Skittles, Lefty, Righty, Buttons, Velcro, and Bratsky. By the time Mom noticed it was gone from the countertop, we had already eaten half of it. Hey Mom that's what you get for leaving the beef jerky package unguarded.
Mom put Bratsky and Lacey on Catster today too, and they want to be friends with everyone too. Bratsky and Lacey aren't totally new to Catster. Lacey appears in photos with Splats on her profile. Bratsky appears with Buddha on his profile. Velcro and Buttons have appeared in others photos too and we're trying to talk Mom into putting Velcro and Buttons on Catster too, as well as trying to talk her into putting up some of the old-timers that have already gone to the bridge, sort of to honor their lives. We are all happy Mom finally joined Catster Plus so she could give gifts to our friends.
Thanks again for my DDP. PURRRSSSSS!
March 1st 2013 4:14 pm
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Since Little Skittles got on Catster today, I decided to give her a little "initiation."
Today I went fishing for trackball cords again. I know my human mom doesn't like me to do it, but its such an effective way to get her attention when she's on a computer, especially if I pull the cord out of the USB port!
Little Skittles was hiding under the bed with me when I executed my strike on the trackball cord with my usual lightning speed and precision. The cord came out of the USB port. I disappeared as fast as I had struck the cord but Little Skittles just sat there confused because she didn't know what was going on. Little Skittles took the rap for yanking the trackball cord out of the USB port while I made sure to be found sweetly innocently laying on a shelf at the opposite end of the house.
Welcome to Catster, Little Skittles. Hey friends, Little Skittles wants to be everyone's friend too!
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