October 13th 2012 11:59 am
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Well yesterday was different. Not sure if it was good or bad but it was as scary as a pissed off ten foot mouse coming for revenge.
Everything started out just purrrrfect. The big guy gave me my small breakfast from a can. I didn't even have to bug him too much about it. I think I have him trained pretty well by now. Took seven years, but I'm getting there.
He even serves me first before making his coffee. I'm pretty glad that I adopted him, but he was a bit of a challenge to train. A work in progress I guess.
Anyway, I had my breakfast and he had his coffee. Afterwards he put his robe down on his bed and went to do his morning ritual in his human potty closet. Not sure what he does in there but I usually hear water running for a very long time. I tried to spy on him one time and climbed into this huge vessel of sorts where he stood butt naked under some warm water. I tried to observe this strange ritual but when he turned around and saw me just a few kitty paws away, sitting there starring at him, he got this surprised look on his face. I don't know what the big deal was, but he looked surprised that I didn't mind sitting under the water fall too? Anyway, after that incident he kept the door shut. Weird.
My best guess is that he might be cleaning himself in there, because he does come out smelling fresh with out that usual human scent.
The reason that I'm guessing this is because I've never seen him licking himself to get cleaned. Well there was this one time when he tried to bend over and clean himself like I do, at least that's what it looked like, but he nearly broke his neck when he fell off the sofa. He didn't try that again.
Anyway, some time later, when he put on his going out skin, he comes up to me and starts petting me and making soothing mouth sounds. I'm thinking he's going out hunting or whatever the heck he does when he goes through that big door.
However, this time was different, because after petting and snuggling me, he picked me up and carried me to the outer room where he usually sits around the noisy screen with all the colors jumping around on it.
So he takes me out there, and gently encourages me to go into this tiny soft house that I've never seen before. I was a bit hesitant at first, but I figured, “Whatever floats your rubber mouse dude,” so I went in there. After all I do trust him. Sort of. I think.
Then for no reason he shuts this flap and I'm stuck in there. Great Sheeba, I was really confused. Did I do something wrong, or was this some kind of strange new human ritual.
Next thing I know, he picks this thing up, that I am not trapped in, and proceeds to walk with me beyond the big door. I didn't like this one bit.
I mean there were times when just for fun I would go on a big adenture by running out the big door when he opened it, but I always stayed relatively close, and I NEVER EVER went through the final door that goes out into the elements beyond it.
Well, this time, he carried me out in to the natural elements and walked to this big box that he put the container that I was in. He then walked around to the other side and sat next to me.
I verbally warned him a few times that I was not amused, and I really wanted to go back inside to my world.
Nope, he didn't listen. Then get this, he did something that made this big box give off a loud purring sound and come to life. I shit you not.
Oh but that's not all, this big box started to slowly move with us in it.
Well, yeah, I started to panic a bit. This was most unusual and scary. Then, before I knew it, I felt the box pick up speed, and although you might find this hard to believe, I swear that we were moving faster then any cat has ever ran before.
I kept trying to gently but very firmly tell him that I wasn't into this....adventure of sorts. I was sooooo frightened. Did the big guy get some kind of distemper or something and has lost his mind?
Finally the big box stopped moving. I was glad for that, but had a sense that I was far from our warm and comfortable little world.
The big guy climbed out of the box and came around to get me. “Ummm, oh oh?” I thought. Surely he wasn't getting rid of me, I hoped. I mean how would he get by if I wasn't there to lay on him while he stared and the noisy color changing gismo that he likes to sit in front of, or how would he be able to lay down without me giving him my massages that I work so hard at?
So anymiows, he takes me beyond this door, and we are once again in another world. It was warm and comfortable but I got much more nervous when I realized that there were several other humans, whom I've never smelled before, in there with us.
After the big guy did some communication noises with this humans, he then took me into another smaller world of sorts, and opened my container.
Ha, get this. His verbalizing me, and trying to get me to come out. Yes, at this point it was very obvious that he had some mad human disease. I wasn't about to come out, especially since some other human was there.
Well, he finally got me to slide out of this thing, pretty much against my will.
NOT cool dude. Very not cool.
I have to say that at this point I had some major mixed feelings. I mean this whole thing was a very strange experience, and I can't put into miows how scary it all was. Yet, I sensed that the big guy was calm, and was petting me and trying to calm me down as well. Even though he seemed to have lost his mind, he was still very nice to me. Heck, even nicer then usual and that's saying a lot.
While the other human was verbalizing, the big guy held me close and insane or not, I decided to hide inside his outer skin shell. I think he calls that thing a jacket. He should grow some more fur and then he wouldn't have to concern himself with such things. Silly humans. Ah but I digress.
He then puts me on a big metal tray of sorts, and you know what happens. Nothing.
I hear the stranger human vocalize something that sounded like “18 pounds.”
Which made the big guy give off a very surprised sound and verbalization.
Now I have to let you in on a bit of a secret that I have. Shhhhhhhh. Just between you and me, over the years I have picked up on what some of this vocalizations represent.
I think that they measured my gravity value here, because the big guy does the same thing to himself once in awhile.
I do know also that “Over weight,” seems to mean that a living things gravitational value is too much.
And my Sheeba, they were saying that my gravitational density was over some kind of limit.
Then the strange human started to blabber vocalize some things. I'm not sure what they meant exactly, but it sounded like “Possibility for diabetes, kidney disease, liver problems,” and some other noises that I can remember. All I know is that I was still so scared that I was shaking, even though at some point the stranger through one dried out food type thing in front of me. Of course I ignored it. I was scared, but I wasn't easy that way. But at least I started to feel less threatened. Besides the big guy kept petting me and holding me real close to him, which was just a bit comforting.
At some point they combed my fur and said something about evidence of some kind of passangers riding on me occasionally. Ha, no wonder that for the past few weeks I've been itchy. Maybe that's why the big guy was putting some kind of smelly stuff on my neck now and then. I've been wondering what was up with that ritual.
Then, I'm not sure if this really happened or if it was my imagination but I could have sworn that the strange human stuck something under my skin. It all happened very fast, but yes, now that I think about it, I felt a tiny pinch and I'm almost sure that some liquid squirted under my skin.
Really!! I'm not making this up.
At least I don't think that I am.
Well too shorten a long story. After a few more strange rituals and lost of human verbalization, we got back into the big metal box. The same thing happened as before, but this time it turned out much better, because I sensed that we were now very close to our own world.
The big buy carried me through the Big Door that sits between the very scary windy world and the semi comfortable inside world.
Well let me tell you. That was all that I needed. To the Big Guys great surprise, I demonstrated that I was very able to open my container door, and as fast as I could ran up the steps that lead to the final door that is between MY world and the rest of the world. I ran so fast that within a blink of an eye my face was pushing against that door, and my paws were clawing at it trying to open it.
I guess the Big Guy had the same idea because in retrospect I realize that the Big Guy was trying to open the door as well, but couldn't do it because I was so intent on clawing myself through that thing.
He finally managed to get me just far back enough to open the thing and let me run through.
Ahhhh, I was back in MY world at last.
I'm not sure what happened but Big Guy is acting like everything is back to normal. I mean it really seems to be, at least as far as he's concerned.
I'm still a bit confused, and even though he keeps coming into our sleeping domain to pet and cuddle me, I'm still not sure if I trust him totally.
Last night I even stayed in the sleeping domain, while he sat in the domain of the noisy color box, and I didn't go out to see him.
When he came to lay down and sleep and noticed that I was right next to him at night, he reached over to pet me, but I was still not in the mood and left him there by himself, to teach him a lesson about trust and all that.
But I will admit that I didn't go too far.
This morning started out just like any other. When Big Guy rolled out of his bedding, the first thing that he did was pet me and play cuddle noses. Ha, I didn't even have to follow him into the feeding area this morning, because even before he used his human litter gizmo, he walked right into the feeding area. I actually was the one running behind him, which is usually the other way around, with me leading the way.
He then opened my favorite wet breakfast food, mixed it up extra well and gave it to me. No playing around with questions, asking me if I want it, am I sure, until I do my cute miowing noises and give him happy face. Nope, I got the food right away, and get this, he even carried me to my dish and kept petting me.
Well I guess if he keeps this attitude up, things will be forgiven soon, cause I can get used to this royal kitty treatment.
He also gave me a big time fur treatment using several different instruments. I think he was trying to clean out the crap that my unwanted passengers left behind them.
I allowed him to do this, and even gave him some encouraging purrs. I mean yeah, I'm still kind of weird-ed out from yesterdays episodes but I do have to admit that the fur cleaning felt kind of nice and I do feel cleaner then I felt in a long time.
Of course, if I could verbalize to the Big Guy in a way that he would completely understand everything that I miow, I would let him know that he could have just licked me clean much faster then fussing with those fur cleaning instruments of his.
Besides, nothing gets my butt as clean as a good licking, and if he wanted me to forgive and forget faster. Well then you know, do the job right and use your tongue. But I guess he thinks that he's too high and mighty for manual labor like that.