December 31st 2013 5:04 pm
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This year I endured the human's experiment with moving in a chair with wheels; an unwanted visit to a woman's house; the death of my favorite punching bag - uh, housemate, I mean; the moving of the litter pans; the continued arrogance of the silver queen; and my aging. As for the latter, there is only one cure, and I'm not ready for it.
Happy New Year!
September 15th 2013 12:37 pm
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I have told you that the human had become angry at finding feces in his library after the cleaning woman put the litter pan in the second bathroom. I also mentioned that he had sent me away for a while because of air conditioning problems during the summer.
Well, the day after my return, he stormed into the living room from the library and roared: "AHA! IT'S YOU!" No feces when I'd been gone. Plenty when I got back. I tried to explain to him the fallacies of circumstantial evidence but he didn't give me a chance to finish. Instead he picked me up, brought me to the scene of the crime, and performed a gross physical insult upon my person that still causes my blood to boil as I remember it.
He in time realized that this method didn't work. He moved the litter pan back to the bathroom where it had been for the first fourteen years that I had been in Apt 344. I still preferred the library. He bought me my own litter pan and placed it in the library. Sometimes I used it and sometimes I didn't. He locked me out of the library. I used the living room carpet, once rather foolishly in front of him. He once, when he divined my intentions, put the litter box in the living room for my one time use. Most considerate.
After he found evidence - with his hand, and by accident - that I was urinating as well as defecating in the library, he went to his light box for answers. He poured this horrible smelling concoction over my favorite places. He put my litter pan in the small hallway that was next to the old bathroom with the litter box and which led into the library.
This did get my approval. However, he remained lazy about keeping as clean as he should. I can't put my poor damaged paws into something vile so when the two ends of the box were uncleaned I simply had to turn sideways. He didn't like that. When he caught me doing it once, he actually tried to turn me around. When I protested, he grabbed a small trash can and stuck it behind me. Again, most considerate.
Now, both litter boxes block the entrance to the library. I use them of course since it makes no sense to go over them. The human is improving or masking the smell in the library carpet with scented candles. And tensions have eased.
August 22nd 2013 1:30 pm
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For some unaccountable reason, the temperature went up in the apartment one day. When the human came home, he said things and called somebody - something about air conditioning. He opened the windows and prepared to wait out a hot night. One problem: he thought the short hairs, Grant and Theodora, would survive OK, but I am a long hair and he saw me panting. Whereupon he made a phone call and the darnedest thing happened.
A nice woman appeared suddenly. The human pointed me out to her. She came over, smiled, called me "Maxey Max," then picked me up and put me in a carrier. I was astonished as I was carried out of the apartment, put in a car, carried off to her home. I spent the night there, locked in a room with my customary food and litter. The next day, I was returned to the human's place. The place was comfortable for 24 hours, and then got hot again. The human came home, stormed off to find someone called a manager, then made a phone call, and the nice woman came again - and took me again.
I must say this was a nice stay. I had, again, my usual food and litter. I had a nice soft bed. And, best of all, the nice woman had the right attitude to my needs. She visited me one night after staying up late watching TV. She was going to just pet for ten minutes, then go off to bed, but I demanded more - twice - and she stayed for a half hour of worship. A well trained human, indeed. I wondered if I had been given away? If so, fine by me. My only concern was the scent of other cats and the noises made. One in particular, a Miss Kitty, to come in and see me. I suspected Miss Kitty objected to my presence. Well, the original cats in 344 objected to my presence when I arrived there. Heh, I established my rule then, and, although I am much older now, I was sure sure I could have handled the saucy queen.
But it didn't happen. After two days,I was returned to my original owner. At least the temperature is what it should be.